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slavekate80 -> RE: Question on having someone relocate (9/2/2013 9:34:30 AM)
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(fr)
I don't think the details of who pays really matters, because ideally, if someone is moving to be with the other, then there should be enough trust on both sides that they know they're not getting played, and reasonable precautions already taken. Including at least a few shorter in-person visits. Video chat isn't enough on its own, though it's better than phone/IM only.
The mentioned method of reimbursing them for travel costs upon arrival is sensible, for an extra layer of safety, just in case they're an exceptionally good scammer. I probably wouldn't bother to ask for reimbursement in the relationship I'm in, but that's mostly because I'd be traveling by car, and two tanks of gas costs a lot less than air fare. An in-between method if they really can't pay for their own fare is to purchase the tickets for them, instead of sending money.
I do take some issue with the idea that a sub (or anyone else) should be able to pay all their own costs or there's something wrong with their financial planning skills or habits. It's classist. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to save hundreds of dollars, and it may not be their fault. Layoffs, injury or illness causing high medical bills, family emergency - things happen. It doesn't mean that the person is scamming or is hopelessly irresponsible. It's possible, and it's good to be a bit cautious, but it's also possible that they just aren't financially privileged.
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