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RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/7/2013 3:21:20 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10540
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Poeticqueen

So I'm very very new to this lifestyle and don't really know protocols outside of what I've read. I want to find a real Dom and not just someone who gets off on hurting women or getting laid. I know I dint want to be a slave or be 24/7 but I want to explore this desire I have... any advice on weeding out the fakes... is there a kind of guidelines most true masters take or is it more play by ear?

Well first sign is a trwu dom loves big, beautiful, bodacious, brown breasts but be careful of anyone who 'gets off' by taking matters into their own hand(s).

(in reply to Poeticqueen)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/9/2013 3:10:17 PM   
Pleasure79Pain80


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Joined: 4/8/2013
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You guys are confusing. I thought a True Dominant was a 6"4' by 200lbs of muscles, like an Abercrombie model but less feminine. Making all the other look like mini-doms.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/9/2013 3:12:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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6'4" is too tall for all of us short subs. If I need to climb a stepladder to kiss him, it ain't happening.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Pleasure79Pain80)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/9/2013 3:19:38 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

any advice on weeding out the fakes


Everyone must be judged by their accomplishments. If the potential Dom accomplishes the task of bringing you under their control only over the phone so that when you meet them you are already their submissive then you have got one. If you have doubts before meeting them, you have weeded him out.



If someone can control you before you ever meet them, you have many issues to resolve before you even consider getting in to a relationship. D/s or otherwise.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/9/2013 3:20:12 PM   
Pleasure79Pain80


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

6'4" is too tall for all of us short subs. If I need to climb a stepladder to kiss him, it ain't happening.


Mini Doms for Mini subs.
:)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/9/2013 8:23:14 PM   
SerWhiteTiger


Posts: 437
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From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pleasure79Pain80

You guys are confusing. I thought a True Dominant was a 6"4' by 200lbs of muscles, like an Abercrombie model but less feminine. Making all the other look like mini-doms.


No, more like 6'4" with 175 pounds of kinda flabby skinniness and lots of hair.

(in reply to Pleasure79Pain80)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/9/2013 8:24:25 PM   
SerWhiteTiger


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From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

6'4" is too tall for all of us short subs. If I need to climb a stepladder to kiss him, it ain't happening.



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/10/2013 6:26:27 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
If someone can control you before you ever meet them, you have many issues to resolve before you even consider getting in to a relationship. D/s or otherwise.

Really? Reality begs to differ.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/10/2013 6:40:39 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

6'4" is too tall for all of us short subs. If I need to climb a stepladder to kiss him, it ain't happening.


Oh hell no. Bring on the stepladder.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/10/2013 6:50:06 AM   
chatterbox24


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Tall dark handsome with an accent. Air of mystery. Smiles very little, walks like they own the world. One word gets results. Courageous bold just disciplined, and doesn't talk much. Wears a leather belt on faded jeans, hard as a rock, big arms. makes the knees weak, instantly causing you to want to be pleasing. Causing inspires and desires........

Ok I shut the romance novel.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/10/2013 10:58:41 PM   
NoBimbosAllowed


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looooovely answer!

_____________________________

It's all about the curvature of the female azzzzzzzzzzz, meaning Niki Minaj and Serena Williams and Kate Cerebrano, NEVER Kylie Minogue! Wooden Spoons and Ottoman scenes from Story of O, baby dolls!

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/11/2013 12:39:06 AM   
SerWhiteTiger


Posts: 437
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From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline
Honestly, being 6'4" kinda sucks for a Dom. All the spanking benches in public dungeons are too low. Ow, my back!

(in reply to NoBimbosAllowed)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/11/2013 5:29:25 AM   
petitespot


Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline
True doms are tall. Really tall.
They have big lips and say "yo" a lot.
They wear hiking boots and a Yankees hat on backwards.
They always jump down the last three steps.
They smoke Fuentes and like Skoal.
They kick ass in poker and black jack and they have a bookie.
They eat the big fat pretzels in bed with hummus.
They like to stick their fingers in your mouth when you yawn.
And they stare at you when you sleep.


_____________________________


(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/11/2013 1:50:45 PM   
SerWhiteTiger


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True Doms definitely do not eat hummus. They eat steak, raw, 4 times a day.

(in reply to petitespot)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/12/2013 7:39:29 AM   
DrMaster4U2


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Nobody wants to get to the real classification of a Dominant in case they don't fit. Others don't want to use BDSM as a stepladder to spiritual and self growth. To them it's just a game you play naked - not even nude.

FIRST - they must be human like anyone else and make mistakes. They have to acknowledge that they make mistakes and like everyone else - apologize. Being human is being imperfect - and being human is so much superior to being perfect.

SECOND - a Dominant must have attributes that many (if not most) vanilla people can only read or think about:
Consistency, Tolerance, Compassion, Trust, Patience, Truthfulness, Gratitude and a strong sense of humor with a specialty in laughing about himself - and all the other vanilla attributes that most vanilla men lack: self. Self control, self image, self esteem, self worth, self, self, self. Why? For the same reason the flight attendant tells you to put the mask on your own face FIRST. A Master cannot help another if unable or unwilling to help himself. This lifestyle is a constant struggle against the negative self.

THIRD - IN ADDITION: A Dom, Top - and others like that - are different from a Master in that the Master has learned to master himself. This is the Dom U.- sometimes AKA dum U.
where the Master must master the/his INSIDE world.
"The mind of the Master is first master of His mind". In real life that means Someone who is on a spiritual path - Someone whose life/mind is a continues journey to intimacy (into-me-see) and Samadhi, Nirvana, ultimate bliss (and who is) willing to teach his submissives the joy of higher awareness and living a meditative life: the exact opposite of those with mental health problems. A Master will have no addictions of any kind. He must maintain an elastic body as well as an open mind. His spirit must start from a level baseline every morning. His life must be relatively free of baggage and heavy anchors. He must not project his failures on to his submissive(s).

FOURTH - another attribute is at least one specialty: Rope Art, using the bull-whip, Suspension, etc, etc.

FIFTH - a Master must have (at least some) experience with the OUTSIDE world - either speak another language, visited other countries, lived in an alternative culture, studied psychology, Martial Arts or studied with another Master to learn the (hemp!) ropes.

SIXTH - a Master must make his submissive or slave feel SAFE. He must nest her in a SAFE HAVEN so that she will feel protected and nurtured. He must be able to provide good, solid, sensible and dense nutrition for her - or find someone who can. He must provide her with mental and emotional "games" to keep her on her toes. He must provide for her Spirit and keep it alive and well. In short he must be able to respond - to her needs. His innate and learned ability to respond - is his ultimate response-ability. Responsibility.

SEVEN - a Master must have a hobby or some other form of stress relief. It's not an easy task to be responsible for the physical and emotional well-being of a person, a human, who has put their life in your hands. Don't trust any Master who has no outlet for himself. Some suggestions are Yoga, Music, Photography, Painting (art), Marital Arts, Swimming, etc. etc. Beer drinking, football watching, building with toothpicks or cigarette buds - do not count.

There are so many more attributes which separates a Maser from a Dom - I cannot put them all in here. These all came from the top of my head. I'm sure there are some more in the dregs. Enough that a Master is a master because he sets an example for his subbie - his sub-ordinate. I teach many other topics in seminars that cater to those in the lifestyle. Let it be known that a true Master is not a couch potato, a leech, who orders his subbie around for his own selfish pleasures and does little or nothing to further her own (at least internal) empowerment - or his own. Enough said for now..
DrMaster

DISCLAMER: None of the foregoing has been approved by the AMA, FDA, NIH, ADA, APA, POLICE, POLITICIANS, and many, if not most BDSM lifestylers. Fuck them all....

< Message edited by DrMaster4U2 -- 10/12/2013 7:47:20 AM >

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/12/2013 7:45:23 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

True Doms definitely do not eat hummus. They eat steak, raw, 4 times a day.


I read that as "eat steak, roar 4 times a day"



_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/12/2013 8:51:36 AM   
Bedmonster


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/7/2013
Status: offline
"true Dom" is not a real description.
Even then, a Master is not a term that you can limit into a few descriptive traits.

Much like a mentor, elements of success -to say a few- can depend on the Dom's consideration, the sub's perspective from earlier experiences, what both the Master and slave's expectations are from this relationship, their surrounding environment etc. This is aside from natural talent too, some Doms' are gifted being able to adapt their control to different types of slave personalities, while other Dominants excel exceptionally in making their subs explore their boundaries to far extents.

How well all these concepts fall into place for your Master and you is what you should be seeking.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/12/2013 8:57:41 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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I actually eat raw steak...


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

True Doms definitely do not eat hummus. They eat steak, raw, 4 times a day.


(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/12/2013 9:06:50 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
Oh dear lord... another "true master" here to educate me...

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrMaster4U2
Nobody wants to get to the real classification of a Dominant in case they don't fit.

Really? Here, let me refute your statement. I don't give a rats ass whether I fit the "real classification of a dominant". Honestly, I think you BDSM people are rather silly with it all and I'd be at least somewhat concerned if I DID start fitting it. I'm pretty sure that whatever that label means in BDSM-land I'm not it and I don't want to be it. I'm more interested in the real world which occurs outside the front door of my home. Being a "dominant" amounts to leading a team of two. I am vastly unimpressed with such an accomplishment.

quote:

Others don't want to use BDSM as a stepladder to spiritual and self growth. To them it's just a game you play naked - not even nude.

Wow... whodathunk? Now there are not only rules about what a "true dom" is but rules about the motivations of a true dom too. For a bunch of rebels you folks sure do like to make rules. Now is a perfect time for me to drag out one of my favorite self-quotes.

"I'm not nearly submissive enough to be a BDSM dominant."

quote:


FIRST - yada yada yada yada <insert long list of rules here that I'm not submissive enough to care about>


quote:

Enough said for now..

You think? I'd have said "way more than enough".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to DrMaster4U2)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: How to recognize a true Dom - 10/12/2013 9:09:46 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
Actually, many of the REALLY SUBMISSIVE males I'm talking to fit that description, 6'4". They also are the ones that most often long to be severely feminized or babied, go figure. Try finding Mary Janes for a mens size 14 foot...


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pleasure79Pain80

You guys are confusing. I thought a True Dominant was a 6"4' by 200lbs of muscles, like an Abercrombie model but less feminine. Making all the other look like mini-doms.


(in reply to Pleasure79Pain80)
Profile   Post #: 80
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