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"Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 3:42:15 AM

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I wonder this because so many times we all say "get out in the community"...

For those without photos posted (of your current self that are recognizable ) have you ever seen someone at an event that you recognize from CM or another such website? Do you acknowledge that you know who they are? Make a point of introducing yourself

For those with photos... I always wonder if someone I meet at events is someone I "know" from here. Everyone has reasons for not posting pics and those don't matter (it is not my place to decide whether their reasons are good, bad, valid...) but it does give the "anonymous" more power in deciding whether they want to someone to know who they are...

RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 3:51:45 AM

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I have my face pic posted, and I'm not too concerned about being outed. In the photo I'm dressed up with full-makeup, not my usual look. If some person I didn't trust mentioned they saw me on CM, I'd lie and say it must be someone who looks like me.

I've never been too worried about being outed at a BDSM event. Indiana has a sparse enough kink population that I've shown up at a munch or play party and have had people recognize me from my former job. I personally don't worry about that too much.

If I met someone I thought was on here, for sure I would introduce myself. I would leave it up to the person the amount of info they were comfortable sharing.

I think the big fear about being outed is mostly paranoia. Could it happen? Sure, but so could a lot of other things. Life is too short to spend your time worrying about it.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 4:25:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I think the big fear about being outed is mostly paranoia. Could it happen? Sure, but so could a lot of other things. Life is too short to spend your time worrying about it.

It happened to me a few years ago, being outed with my friends. The worst person I had to face up to was my aunt who is very straight laced (also bags of fun and a good laugh), but straight laced. She was mortified to start with but one day she volunteered that she supposed it was ok as long as I gave money to charity as well. She though I was seeing a Domme at the time, which I wasn't and had never seen one at that point.

It was the biggest paranoia I had for most of my adult life and in hindsight was such a huge waste of energy as none of my mates gave two hoots about it. Very occasionally (hardly at all now) I get the odd ribbing but it's affectionate. Nothing changed, invites didn't dry up etc :-) I think my face was as red as a tomato for a few weeks though until it dawned on me that it didn't really matter.

Anyone who is worth being your friend wouldn't care and would be happy that you have a way of finding happiness and an escape from the grind, as you are happy for them finding a way of happiness.

I understand in the workplace it can be a different matter as the people you work with may not be your friends and could make your life difficult. If handled correctly though, I have often seen in cases like this that the one flinging the poo is often the one to be ostracised, not their 'victim'.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 7:16:43 AM

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I don't meet "outing" but I mean kind of keeping your identity a secret from someone you know.... Example- there is a BESS thing "Pain Without Marks" that I am going to and I suggested it to someone who lives local to me but who has an avatar so I have no clue what he/she looks like so, of course, they can opt to introduce themselves to me (who would be recognizable) or just ignore me and pretend we never met..

Don't read between the lines

. This is just one of those...crazy things that pass through my mind....that I just wonder if has ever happened...

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 7:25:29 AM

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I met a few I knew before who I ran into here years after seeing them on this site. It was at a kink event but since most of us had been chatting for years we knew what the other looked like by that point.
And I have run into people I knew from here at a non kink event, ie when I had to go on a service call in the nilla world.

At the non kink event I would never acknowlege someone as kinky. For that matter unless we had spoken online before I would never acknowlege I knew them from a website like this simply because I saw their pic.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 9:54:06 AM

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From CM, no. But when the SoCalSubFem room existed on AOL, I had other people from the room recognize me at the socials. But, it was a chatroom dedicated to our area, so that made sense. The only thing these days was a wine event and someone recognized me as K's friend from FL. (It was a kinky group)

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 9:54:48 AM

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For the most part, the anonymous person does have the advantage in this scenario. That's especially true if I'm presenting. It would be kind of difficult to go to a demo called "Wax Play by Lady Pact" and for anybody from the forums not to know that it's Me. So far, I've never met another person with the same scene name, so I think that would happen whether I had a pic up or not.

The other thing that happens is that I will meet somebody for the first time at a munch and they'll say they have heard of Me, even though we've never met before. I think this happens because people are more likely to check things out on the net before venturing out to their first munch. I've had people walk up to Me in kink group settings and say that they heard I did such and such at wherever. None of them have been wrong yet, so they are getting the information somewhere.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 10:00:14 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

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No, I wouldn't let a "vanilla" person I knew from some vanilla event know that I saw their pic at CM or at Fet. I would see it as an intrusion on my privacy if someone approached me in vanilla instead of approaching me online first.

Meeting fellow kinksters at events is different. If I recognize them from CM or Fet, if a mutual friend hasn't introduced us first, I'll introduce myself as CynthiaWVirginia and mention that I hang out mainly at CM. ;)

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 11:51:11 AM

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As I said...I am speaking of being at a kinky social group meeting with a title of "Pain Without Marks" or " Life on Fantasy Island-can you live 24/7 M/s".

It is just one of those strange things that goes through my mind...

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 1:03:49 PM

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What I hate is when a guy on a vanilla site writes me (he has no photo and I do) and then says, aren't you on Collarme?

I find it creepy that someone approaches me that way without first introducing themselves.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 1:24:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

I wonder this because so many times we all say "get out in the community"...

For those without photos posted (of your current self that are recognizable ) have you ever seen someone at an event that you recognize from CM or another such website? Do you acknowledge that you know who they are? Make a point of introducing yourself

For those with photos... I always wonder if someone I meet at events is someone I "know" from here. Everyone has reasons for not posting pics and those don't matter (it is not my place to decide whether their reasons are good, bad, valid...) but it does give the "anonymous" more power in deciding whether they want to someone to know who they are...

I don't post my photo here. I have on rare occasion seen someone at an event that I don't know whose face I vaguely recognize from this site. I wouldn't bring it up unless we have some genuine connection -- like a memorable exchange on a forum. Otherwise, I don't see any particular reason to mention seeing their profile or making more of a point of introducing myself to them as opposed to anyone else.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 2:27:25 PM

Kana

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I've seen/met a bunch of folks at Crucible or Playhouse I've recognized from here.
Far creepier, the mouse had a guy or two accost her on the street and ask if she was on CM.
That kinda left her a tad bit uncomfy, can't imagine why

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 3:14:22 PM

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I could frankly care less if I was outed. Last time it happened, I ended up going out with one of the girls from the office. And the woman who outed me ended up getting pink-slipped.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 3:32:51 PM

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I keep enough separation between my personal and professional lives that I think it's only a remote possibility. As things are, I'm already out with my family and all the friends I have now are lifestyle anyway. If a coworker or someone were to recognize me from here or FL, I would most likely ask why they brought it up. If I were to recognize someone else from the play party where I volunteer or from the sites, I would just give them a brief nod and keep going. Personally, I find it frustrating that we have to worry about being outed because anything we do really doesn't affect the anonymous jackasses who condemn us for being different from them.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 3:57:58 PM

MistressDarkArt

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Several years ago I rented my apartment to a young couple. They lived on my property for a few years before moving to get married and further careers. As a complete fluke, their profile popped up over on the other side at the log in page. "Fancy meeting you here," I wrote. They replied that they'd actually met on CM before living at my place, and had worked really hard keeping it quiet back there because they didn't know how I'd feel about them being kinky.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 3:59:27 PM

MissKittyDeVine

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If only they'd known, MDA

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 4:22:18 PM

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I've met and seen a few ppl from fetlife at a play party.

Sexy red, yes that is creepy.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 4:41:18 PM

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It could be creepy. Especially if it's someone you strongly dislike. Or worse, have blocked. That's not a conversation I want to have.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 4:47:58 PM

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My ex-wife outed me after we seperated (she was a spiteful bitch!!) and told all her friends in the town we lived in what a perverted and kinky s.o.b I was.
It was the best advertising I every had. My phone damn near went into meltdown !! I Had a ball.
I also got my revenge a little way down the track by telling the bitch that she had done me a great favour and I had played with and had sex with all of her friends except one. she drove herself nots trying to find out which one it was !!...............Revenge is a dish best served cold.

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RE: "Don't I Know You...??" - 8/20/2013 6:17:26 PM

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I just don't post photos because I don't like photos of myself. I hate pictures.

I've recognized people from online but I never say anything. I find it kinda creepy...unless I was at a bdsm event, then it would be completely acceptable.

As Master said, I've had people recognize me. And yes it's a bit creepy. I had one who is an attorney where I used to work and he approached me outside on my lunch break one day as I'm sitting in the park. I didn't care he knew who I was. It was the way in which he approached me that just creeped me out and the fact that i had zero interest in him but yet he would always be trying to get with me when he would see me around.

Another time, I was walking down the street, minding my own business and suddenly some dude yells out of his truck, "LITTLEWONDER!". To this day I still have no idea who he was because he kept on driving by and I couldn't see who it was. I didn't acknowledge or anything so thankfully no one was looking at me in some kind of strange, quizzical me but it left me a little pissed for the rest of the day because people just simply have no manners or etiquette. Tasteless and rude.

I don't mind people approaching me if they recognize me but please, don't be crude. Have manners and know how to approach a woman without making yourself seem like a stalker or psycho.

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