njlauren -> RE: Mono vs poly? (8/22/2013 10:38:46 PM)
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I hope you aren't thinking of dumping the lifestyle based on the assumption that most doms want a poly relationship. While poly is not particularly scarce, Most of the scene people I know tend to be monogamous, and while I can't claim that represents everyone obviously, I think you will find that many doms want to be monogamous themselves, or might be poly but also are willing to be monogamous for a special person. Hopefully you haven't run into the 'doms' that see being dominant as being a three balled tomcat among a bunch of female cats in heat, I have seen a lot of doofus who see being a dom as 'le droit du seigneur' , an excuse to have sex with as many women as possible, and I hope you haven't run into them. I have a lot of respect for poly people, but these clowns aren't that, they are quite frankly jerks who think poly means having a woman in a relationship that allows them to screw anyone they want cause they are 'the master' or some such *gag*. I have seen them up close and personal, had some of them tell me things like since I was trans, I should be their sub and then they could have my wife, I have seen them tell potential subs that of course the master has the right to have sex with who he wants, and that is horseshit, that is only true if the sub agrees to that in the terms of the relationship (reminds me of some stupid twit who runs this website about female led relationships, basically telling men who want to enter it that of course the wife will want to cuckold you, it is her right.....*ick*). If you have doms telling you that subs have to accept that their D will be poly, they probably aren't very desirable and I would heartily encourage you to laugh at them, a good dom might tell you they are poly and that they require that of any subs, which is fair and honest, but that is different from saying that any dom has the right to be poly cause he is in charge:). Keep looking, you might have to wade through a see of rejects and wannabes and wankers, but there are good ones out there who would be happy to be monogamous with their sub, I promise:)
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