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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 1:24:54 AM)
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What you are lacking here, is someone to advocate for you. One of the difficulties of mental health problems is that in order to get better, you need to seek treatment and do things to help yourself, and at the same time, the illness makes it extremely difficult to do that. You need someone to keep on your back and make sure you go to appointments, to help you change therapists if you don't gel with the one you are assigned, to take you back to the doctor when side effects are causing you problems. Now you have said your family are no support; do you have a trusted friend who is willing to check in on this? If not, it is on you. It is hard, but it is doable.
You are the victim of your own faulty thinking. I understand, I struggle with this too. You tried one medication, it gave you side effects and you didn't feel better, so you have given up on all medications. This is faulty thinking. You must surely know that there are many, many treatments for depression, which can be combined in different ways and different strengths. You feel this desperate and unhappy now, surely it is worth giving it another go?
You think if you tell someone you cut yourself, you will be institutionalised. This is faulty thinking -a massive oversimplification and expecting the worse. It is very, very hard to get someone held under the mental health act. In many cases people who want that kind of help can't get it. The sad truth is that mental health wards are overstretched and unless you are deemed to be at imminent risk of suicide or a danger to others, you are very unlikely to be held. The fact that you are seeking help will demonstrate that you are less of a risk. Worst case scenario and you get sent to hospital - at least you will be getting focused medical care and attention.
I've been through dark, dark times. I know that 'buck up' isn't helpful - it's not even possible. I won't tell you to cheer up. But I will tell you to be proactive. Force yourself to be proactive. No, you won't feel like it. Lifting up the phone will feel like climbing a mountain. But either you climb the mountain or you perish on the slopes, there's no other option.
Get a pen and paper. Make a list. Include on it things like 'phone doctor', 'go to the pub' (not advocating drinking on meds, just going to a social place), 'tidy bedroom' and 'exercise'. Every day you must cross one of those things off. No matter what. No choice. It won't cure you, but it will help you. And it will put you in a position to access more help. The exercise one is really, really important. I know it sounds like a ridiculous statement, but it really isn't. Exercise is tremendously beneficial for depression. I hated exercise, found every excuse not to do it, until I actually stuck to it for a while and saw how it changed my life. It was the difference between sitting in the dark and switching on the lights.
When you go to the doctor (notice I said when, not if), ask about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It takes work and dedication but it can help fix some of the thought patterns which contribute. It's not just a case of popping a pill and feeling better, it's an active way of stopping the spirals of negativity.
It sucks. It's going to suck for a while. And getting better? That will suck too. But what's your alternative? Life can suck forever, or you can force yourself to power through the suckiness and get to the nice times on the other side.
BDSM - I think DarkSteven nailed it. A healthy, functional relationship is good for you. The physical sensations might provide temporary relief but are open to abuse if you're not in a good state of mind, and will only disguise the problem for a while, not fix it.
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