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RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 7:23:44 PM   
skaterboy


Posts: 58
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		Low levels of experience, understanding and low levels of comprehension are the ones to avoid. Be wise Secret and never stoop to their Level. You are above them, as we all are.
I wish my best for you and your little one!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 7:27:04 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: skaterboy

Low levels of experience, understanding and low levels of comprehension are the ones to avoid. Be wise Secret and never stoop to their Level. You are above them, as we all are.
I wish my best for you and your little one!


Fastlane, I'm going to start charging you a fee every time you take my name in vain LOL.

(in reply to skaterboy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 7:28:11 PM   
mysecret40


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline 		thanx everyone,....wonderful input on the topic. My grandparents raised me the majority of my childhood, so I took care of each of them, they have since passed. My grandfather lived with my child and myself...and it was a blessing. But, I did pay the bills...take care of him, his health was poor, work, and raise my daughter. Strength of moral character is very important. Now, I know for fact these two I had spoken with in previous months have healthy parents. So, this is not the case. I would not judge someone without knowing the details ,......it was striclty because they are  very comfortable doing so. ...that is why it got me when they tried to offer advice, or even try to suggest moving in with me~! Um......hell no. It's one thing to be "giving" of yourself for a sickly or elderly parent......it's another to mooch. Now, I have to be aware of this "deal" breaker......only to get to the real truth quicker, some aren't exactly forth coming.
secret

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 7:42:56 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Is it possible that their parent(s) lived with them?

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(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 8:25:54 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		Me .. I been on my own since I was 16 .... but I tell ya something I have heard many times over when posingthis question .. even to those outside the lifestyle
 
 this is usually thier response and something that made me stop and say ahhhhh
 
because of the inflated cost of living in the United States these days it seems but many are staying in the house longer to save up the finacial needs to get the home they desire and make sure when they do move out they will be covered economically .......
 
NOW that made alot of sense to me . hell if I could live at my mothers house . and mentally survive that ..... and save up the money I needed to get all the good things this life had to offer I might have tried it too .... doesn't mean I am less of a Master
 
think about it . it makes sense

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A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 9:51:32 PM   
suggababy23


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Sad thing miss secret is that there are alot of pretenders out there. 

I have had the pleasure (or rather displeasure) of meeting men who have little to no control over certain aspects of their lives, so they look for a woman to dominate to make them feel like a complete man.  Alot of posers are out there. You have to tread carefully.

~sugga

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 6/30/2006 10:09:21 PM   
KSControl


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		secret.. as many have pointed out, there are many legitimate reasons people may live with their parents.  Many of them may indeed be paying rent to their parents (I charged my adult children rent when they lived with me! --maybe that's why they didn't stay long! lol)  But, the bottom line when it comes to relationships - of any kind - is that you have to feel comfortable with who the other person is, and what motivates them.  If you don't, it really doesn't matter whether they have legitimate reasons for doing what they do.  Just say 'thanks but no thanks' and move on.  Too many people have gotten into circumstances they later regretted by not following their gut instincts. So, if it doesn't feel right, move on, don't look back. :)

(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 12:49:48 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I can see some MAYBE having to resort to such things for a short time whilst they sort something better. But letting it turn into a way of life..... Well even when things have been dire I haven't resorted to that, I can't imagine EVER compromising my own control over my way of life and leaching off my parental units that way. I would find someway around it! I always have so far.




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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 1:11:23 AM   
vield


Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, I see this a bit in real life as well as on line.

There are lots of excellent reasons why a person may care for a parent, but also lots of reasons a person might "mooch" off a parent. Best to take your time and find out the facts if considering these persons as potential partners.

One thing about insecure folks who are still at home, some of these were "the apple of Mom's eye" and have not found themself appreciated by anyone else the way Mom cares for them (male or female). Naturally the fact that they may not be out making achievements others may admire contributes to this.

Lots of times a male in this position thinks he needs to be dom because Mom has always told him how he is too good for all the women he meets. In actuality if he were uprooted to a different place, he might be better as a submissive.

As always your mileage may vary.

vield

(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 1:25:55 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mysecret40

Please, any Dom, Masters, enlighten me of this......
Many Doms here, this site and others, live with their parents or mothers. I don't get this~!! I have had a couple try to be my Master,.....giving me financial advice, what to do with my life, and so on. Here is the kicker,.....since they live "home", and don't pay rent or utilities, how can I respect that? Sure some have had rough divorces, but they happened years ago and they still live home. One even told me he was afraid of what his ex wife might do to him if she found out he were to inherit any money, and he would put it in hiding. Um,,........what is up with this>? Are these self titled Dom/ Masters? Here I am struggling , a single parent, ......any input would be greatly appreciated.
 
Secret


I have very good friends who are lat 40's and still living with their parents or one parent. In their cases, the reason is to be able to look after a parent.. However the point is lass, you have stated what you find acceptable in a Dominant so why waste your time with rants about those who don't fit your requirements.. many have their own reasons for doing what they do and no blanket lable like "Mama's Doms" will cover all of them.. In all honesty I just fail to see the point on an over all verbal insult attack on them. How hard is it to asscertain if any prospective Dom meets your specs and if not to say no then move on?


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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 3:04:10 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mysecret40

Please, any Dom, Masters, enlighten me of this......
Many Doms here, this site and others, live with their parents or mothers. I don't get this~!! I have had a couple try to be my Master,.....giving me financial advice, what to do with my life, and so on. Here is the kicker,.....since they live "home", and don't pay rent or utilities, how can I respect that? Sure some have had rough divorces, but they happened years ago and they still live home. One even told me he was afraid of what his ex wife might do to him if she found out he were to inherit any money, and he would put it in hiding. Um,,........what is up with this>? Are these self titled Dom/ Masters? Here I am struggling , a single parent, ......any input would be greatly appreciated.

After seeing your leggy pic for the first time, I'm tempted to write myself.  lol  But then there's that difference in hemispheres, dammit!  Mind you, did I mention that Mum & Dad have both been gone for many years now....?
 
Focus.

(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 10:02:27 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Thinking further on this, depending upon up bringing and culture, family is everything. As my Father once told me, "When shit happens andthe world is closing in on you, blood ties are what must be protected. Family is all you have along with a few true friends."

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 11:01:58 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		fast reply,

I still think that it isn't shameful to count on family. We used to do that in the USA, and now we ridicule each other for it. I just do not get it. It seems I have attracted a different sort to me anyways than someone who lives with their parents...  but ironically I definitely wouldnt judge it. There are many reasons to do so. I counted on my extended family to be there for me when my son was young.

I think this independent, pull yourself up by your boot straps, pragmatic individualist thing highly over valued anyways. People need people, we are not an island unto ourselves. We complain about family values lacking in this country and then ridicule those who value their families.... I guess because we do not need large families to work the land anymore it isn't valued when extended families come together. I am more concerned about whether or not they enjoy their work then if they live on their own. I find people that enjoy working to be more productive and happier.... with more energy to give to me...lol.

I would agree with LaM about something.. if you wrote a profile that wasn't filled with lyrics but had information about you perhaps you would attract what you are looking for. Perhaps if you stated you were looking for a man that was buying his own home and had a career they would respond... I have found many Doms want to show they can be responsible for a submissive, it shouldn't be hard to attract one of these if they knew you were looking for someone like them. Just a thought

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(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/1/2006 4:05:00 PM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		secret,

It sounds to me like you met some of the panhandlers that are looking for someone who is desperate enough to take them in.  Sadly, that happens.  Desperation to belong or be owned causes people to make bad decisions and allow the terminally worthless into their lives.  If they can find someone as attractive as you appear to be who does not have your self esteem and self worth, they might have hit a home run.

If someone is really living at home to care for parents, for sure they would make that clear to you as a way to make you understand the situation.  If it was because of a difficult divorce, you would hear it and sense the anger.  If it is because they are too lazy to move out, you will never hear that.  If it is because they do not like to work, you will never hear that.  If there IS a reason, you would hear it, if not, you will hear silence. 

You seem to have your head screwed on straight and have the common sense to realize when someone is looking for a free ride.  Keep that common sense radar turned on and you will be fine. 

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Power whispers, it has no reason to yell

(in reply to mysecret40)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/2/2006 6:21:20 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, the dynamic is one of the shift in American life due to the  gap in age ranges---I see many of those my age with parents living with them or those living with the parents because they have the family home and combining the families it needed for a variety of life issues---as has been said, a Dominant should be able to Master their lives and to Me that means accepting responsibility for ones aged parents if need be. Ages ago, we thought nothing of families remaining in the "home" as they grew.
 
In America, the bottom is about to fall out of the housing market, with companies reducing their forces of people 45 and over, you will IMHO see more and more of this. I'd look more to the person and what they bring to the dynamic, however, manifestations may become more challenging.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 7/2/2006 6:26:14 AM >

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/2/2006 6:43:03 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

...as has been said, a Dominant should be able to Master their lives and to Me that means accepting responsibility for ones aged parents if need be. 


Well said, MH.
 
My mom lives with me, and has for years, due to a stroke she had. I find it dismaying that some see this as a negative; responsibility, and standing by loved ones even in hard times should not be looked down upon.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/2/2006 8:35:16 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

...as has been said, a Dominant should be able to Master their lives and to Me that means accepting responsibility for ones aged parents if need be. 


Well said, MH.
 
My mom lives with me, and has for years, due to a stroke she had. I find it dismaying that some see this as a negative; responsibility, and standing by loved ones even in hard times should not be looked down upon.



Level,
I commend you for taking care of your mum and letting her live with you or you moving in with her, whichever.  If anything this is a quality I would seek out in a master if I were still looking.  It shows that you have compassion and caring and a sense of responsibility.  This is something I think one should be proud of and not something other should condemn them for.

On the flip side with younger men living at home, I don't see this only as a money issue, if a man can be grown and still live with his family, wow! The family structure must be a good one, which hopefully would carry over to a relationship being good with me.  Also if a young man is living at home and working outside the home, then it would stand to reason that he is saving up his money, he has more money hopefully put away for the day he moves out.. all of this is a positive.

More and more men are living at home longer, women are going to have to re-adjust their thinking I have the feeling.  If we're so judgemental as to not choose someone staying at home, wow we could miss out on some really great men, how sad is that?

~dancer


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RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/2/2006 8:46:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For Me, my opinion of the situation would depend entirely upon that particular situation. I have known quite a few young people that continue to live at home without contributing to the household because its easy, and gives them more money for partying and extravagances.....shame on them and shame on their parents for allowing it. However as others have stated there are many good reasons why it might be necessary. I would rather live in poverty than live with either of my parents but thats a good part my pride and desire to be self sufficient and no small part imagining the reality of living with either parent......terrifying thought!

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/2/2006 11:56:46 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: desertdancer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

...as has been said, a Dominant should be able to Master their lives and to Me that means accepting responsibility for ones aged parents if need be. 


Well said, MH.
 
My mom lives with me, and has for years, due to a stroke she had. I find it dismaying that some see this as a negative; responsibility, and standing by loved ones even in hard times should not be looked down upon.



Level,
I commend you for taking care of your mum and letting her live with you or you moving in with her, whichever.  If anything this is a quality I would seek out in a master if I were still looking.  It shows that you have compassion and caring and a sense of responsibility.  This is something I think one should be proud of and not something other should condemn them for.

On the flip side with younger men living at home, I don't see this only as a money issue, if a man can be grown and still live with his family, wow! The family structure must be a good one, which hopefully would carry over to a relationship being good with me.  Also if a young man is living at home and working outside the home, then it would stand to reason that he is saving up his money, he has more money hopefully put away for the day he moves out.. all of this is a positive.

More and more men are living at home longer, women are going to have to re-adjust their thinking I have the feeling.  If we're so judgemental as to not choose someone staying at home, wow we could miss out on some really great men, how sad is that?

~dancer



Thank you dancer .

(in reply to desertdancer)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: what is up with all the mama's boys Doms? - 7/2/2006 12:53:29 PM   
mysecret40


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline 		well,....I certainly wasn't talking about men who are taking care of their parents be it that they are elderly or sickly....I'm was referring too the ones who do it simply because they can, it's allowed. We all grew up knowing the men who lived with their folks way too long...like their mother still did their laundry and fixed them dinner. That to me is a mama's boy. Enabling them to never grow up and know the real world or responsibility doesn't help  a child, but, it makes for one spoiled, unadjusted, grown up.As I stated before I was a caregiver to both of my grandparents..and did it with pleasure because they were so wonderful to me growing up. The thing with the live at homes, no matter what their circumstance is also, they don't have exactly privacy for D/S. I mean really, ....how are you going to explain let's say....the cracking of a whip, flogger, perhaps some other loud noises coming from juniors room? lol,....sheesh, we are not talking about social break down here, but, just some basic 101 reality.Also, many of the true dominant personality's I have met, wouldn't dream of living under someone else's rules,..... usually is their way or the highway thinking~!! Secret

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Profile   Post #: 40
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