quote:

ORIGINAL: felicityfleece

Ok, so I have had a very quick initiation into the world of domme and findom over the past week or so, and more vicariously through a friend over the past 6 months, however I am just...a bit lost.

I am a very nice person in general, and have a very friendly but kind of flippant and funny online persona (all my d/s interactions are strictly online only), and I DO definitely have a major bitchy and cruel side that comes out mostly only when I am attracted to someone and get angry with them for some reason. ;)

So...these subs of mine that I have, I am not in love with them or hugely attracted to them. Some of them (most) want me to be horribly rude, mean, bitchy, degrading, humiliating and abusive verbally and emotionally to them. For some of them, I'm ok with that though I have yet to commence it (as we only met yesterday for the first time), but a few others...I really like them as people, they seem genuinely nice and not at all deserving of being abused.

So my question is, how do I...do this? How do I go from being my normal friendly conversationalist self to a total evil bitch? lol

I know a big part for me is simply learning to trust that they really do WANT this and it won't hurt them deep down forever.

Also, when it's online only, what do you say? Like...what are some things dommes here actually say to be abusive and mean to their subs?

Thanks!

I love ChatteParfaitt's post.

Now for my own two cents worth. Try it out and get your feet good and wet on other people's fantasies, and then see what feels right for you. I've tried things I thought I would hate, and loved it. Same thing in reverse...I've tried things I thought I'd love and was surprised that it didn't suit me at all. (My tastes have also changed a bit from year to year.)

Having a hard time getting into the mood to humiliate one of these "nice guys"? MOST of the ones who will contact you are married cheaters, or men with a significant other who has no idea they are fapping off with someone they are talking with online. Does that make you feel properly evil? *grins*

If you want to make yourself available for a sounding board and shoulder to cry on if the guy goes through "subdrop"...talk this over before you scene with them. Just be aware that some guys will not be sincere and will be one handed typing, while they relive how mean and cruel you were, and how (fap fap fap) it hurt their widdle feelings.

At least one of the books from Greenery Press I have a copy of...have book recommendations in the back that would help you out with ideas. One book is for texting or phone sex workers who want to try kinky stuff. I'm too lazy to go upstairs and hunt through my books to find the titles, sorry about that. (Oh, and I want to get back to my Global Trades on my Pokemon X game, lol.)

You might be able to type into Google "BDSM, humiliations" and find something...or better yet, give the guys homework and make them find good (and free) links to what turns them on.

How do you switch gears in your head? Actors use props and uniforms sometimes; find something that makes you feel powerful and bitchy. Find a roleplay scenario that both of you would like to try out...maybe you would like to relive a time when a past boyfriend was caught cheating on you and you can use roleplay to re-write over the whole thing; don't ditch him this time, punish and humiliate "him" instead. I hope you have fun finding out what you like and exploring the kinks of guys you talk with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

Don't try to force yourself to be mean if you don't feel like being mean. Otherwise they are the ones calling the shots. Go with what you feel is right for you, at the time or in general. You are the domme; you have your own style, stick with it.