quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana



They don't like taking charge. They don't like/want/feel comfortable being in control. And they certainly don't want a guy who goes ass up because,rightly or not, such acts hit something within them that they tag with submissive.
It goes against who and what they are. Guise it all ya like,cloak it in shes serving yadda yadda, that's how most gals I've met feel.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot
The thought of fucking a guy, any guy, up the ass with a strap on is such a turnoff. I would walk out on hearing the request and never go back.
A rim job....no problem.
Anything remotely resembling a cock in size or shape...no thank you.

That's exactly how the Mouse would feel.
It would fuck our relationship up big time.
As in, I'd no longer be the man she submitted to, therefore any deals we've made,bargains struck or oaths sworn are made null and void by my actions.
In short-she'd be free and I'll bet my bottom dollar she'd jet.
She's been with guys who rolled that way prior and hated, as in HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATED it.

Which holds true for almost every sub/slave gal I've known.
They don't like taking charge. They don't like/want/feel comfortable being in control. And they certainly don't want a guy who goes ass up because,rightly or not, such acts hit something within them that they tag with submissive.
It goes against who and what they are. Guise it all ya like,cloak it in shes serving yadda yadda, that's how most gals I've met feel.

I can darn tooting tell ya 100% fer sure that mouse does. She would view it as a submissive act, that I damn well know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

They may like to dominate but they are not a Dominant, they are a switch. This goes along the lines of those silly posts about "Dominants" commanding their subordinates to top them. You are either pitchin', catchin' or switchin'. If you like pitchin' and you like catchin' by getting anally dominated, that means you are switchin'. Simple as that. The fact they don't want to admit they are a switch is their problem.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
A rim job, pushing on the taint or a finger in the but while she blows him . . . all stuff she was born with. Not the same as strapping on a man's prosthetic penis so she can take the top and fuckem' like a bitch.

quote:

In theory, Miyani is correct. There is no such thing as a submissive or dominant act.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
A rim job, pushing on the taint or a finger in the but while she blows him . . . all stuff she was born with. Not the same as strapping on a man's prosthetic penis so she can take the top and fuckem' like a bitch.

My slave was in a lesbian relationship for 11 years and has quite a bit of experience with strap ons. She would view getting pegged as submission too. But hey, we are old school and labels have definitive meanings like switching is called "switching". Nothing wrong with switching. Just call a spade a spade!

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ORIGINAL: Kana

Not this cat. Not one whit.

I have zero opinion on what others think/do,but for me-yeah, it would be very undominant.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

They may like to dominate but they are not a Dominant, they are a switch. This goes along the lines of those silly posts about "Dominants" commanding their subordinates to top them. You are either pitchin', catchin' or switchin'. If you like pitchin' and you like catchin' by getting anally dominated, that means you are switchin'. Simple as that. The fact they don't want to admit they are a switch is their problem.

This and as Master said, I'd be jetting out the door if he ever wanted me to do that to him or to hurt him or to flog him or anything else that he does to me. It would totally squick me out.

Yup, there are actions I see as dominant or submissive. Deal with it.

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ORIGINAL: Miyani

I hate to be the dissenting voice (not really), but here's my take:
There's really no such thing as a submissive position. Just a submissive mindset. If you command your girl to use a toy on you in a way that pleases you, even if it's phallic looking, and even if it goes in your ass, how does that make you the submissive? It may make you the bottom, in the strict sense that you're the receiving party, but there is such a thing as a service sub, isn't there?

If you want to watch your girl ride your cock cowgirl style, and tell her to make you come, are you the submissive because she's on top of you? Fuck no. if you want to screw her silly, and pound her until she screams, are you dominant because you're on top of her? Fuck no. You're dominant, and she's submissive, because you're both of a mind that you are the one in control, and she is acting on your wishes.

Have fun, man. The prostate is a beautiful thing. And you know how sensitive a piece of flesh can be when it's rarely touched? Right. Go for it.

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ORIGINAL: Focus50

Not positions but perceptions...!

Me being one of those doms cursed with principles, well there'll be none of that malarky about ordering my submissive to top me etc. Now you can believe I'm stuck in denial or trapped by my own insecurities blah blah but the simplest truth of all is that I, and doubtless many other doms, simply aren't interested in being the "doee".

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ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Not positions but perceptions...!

Me being one of those doms cursed with principles, well there'll be none of that malarky about ordering my submissive to top me etc. Now you can believe I'm stuck in denial or trapped by my own insecurities blah blah but the simplest truth of all is that I, and doubtless many other doms, simply aren't interested in being the "doee".

That sounds somewhat more like hang-ups than principles.

Taking your pleasure in whatever way you wish seems a lot more "domly" to me than eschewing an act because of how you think others will view it. Seems a bit silly to me, really.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

In theory, Miyani is correct. There is no such thing as a submissive or dominant act.

But that's the theory.

In the actuality, I wouldn't be able to handle it well. It would change my view of him which might just put us in a power equal relationship as friends at best, broken up more probably. But then we'd both be unhappy because he needs to be the leader in the relationship and I need him to be that. And I couldn't view him as that if I had to do him in the ass.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Not positions but perceptions...!

Me being one of those doms cursed with principles, well there'll be none of that malarky about ordering my submissive to top me etc. Now you can believe I'm stuck in denial or trapped by my own insecurities blah blah but the simplest truth of all is that I, and doubtless many other doms, simply aren't interested in being the "doee".

That sounds somewhat more like hang-ups than principles.

Taking your pleasure in whatever way you wish seems a lot more "domly" to me than eschewing an act because of how you think others will view it. Seems a bit silly to me, really.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Not positions but perceptions...!

Me being one of those doms cursed with principles, well there'll be none of that malarky about ordering my submissive to top me etc. Now you can believe I'm stuck in denial or trapped by my own insecurities blah blah but the simplest truth of all is that I, and doubtless many other doms, simply aren't interested in being the "doee".

That sounds somewhat more like hang-ups than principles.

Taking your pleasure in whatever way you wish seems a lot more "domly" to me than eschewing an act because of how you think others will view it. Seems a bit silly to me, really.

I think that's a fair comment. And, although it's not the same, I've had similar conversations about the fact that despite identifying as dominant I really do enjoy going down on a chick once in a blue. When I do, it's because I want to do it - and I don't feel at all as if my dominance is threatened by wanting to do so. But past playmates have regarded it as a pretty "sub" thing to want to do.

Receiving anal should absolutely follow the same logic... if I want something up my ass, then I'd have no problem telling a sub to put something up my ass.

But I wouldn't. Because the idea of being pegged does absolutely nothing for me. Now that could very well because I have a hang-up about it (and yeah... a part of me does think that it's a little bit ghey) but yanno... I have a hang up about doing the paperwork for my tax return, but I can live with both those hang-ups without losing too much sleep.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Not positions but perceptions...!

Me being one of those doms cursed with principles, well there'll be none of that malarky about ordering my submissive to top me etc. Now you can believe I'm stuck in denial or trapped by my own insecurities blah blah but the simplest truth of all is that I, and doubtless many other doms, simply aren't interested in being the "doee".

That sounds somewhat more like hang-ups than principles.

Taking your pleasure in whatever way you wish seems a lot more "domly" to me than eschewing an act because of how you think others will view it. Seems a bit silly to me, really.

I think that's a fair comment. And, although it's not the same, I've had similar conversations about the fact that despite identifying as dominant I really do enjoy going down on a chick once in a blue. When I do, it's because I want to do it - and I don't feel at all as if my dominance is threatened by wanting to do so. But past playmates have regarded it as a pretty "sub" thing to want to do.

Receiving anal should absolutely follow the same logic... if I want something up my ass, then I'd have no problem telling a sub to put something up my ass.

But I wouldn't. Because the idea of being pegged does absolutely nothing for me. Now that could very well because I have a hang-up about it (and yeah... a part of me does think that it's a little bit ghey) but yanno... I have a hang up about doing the paperwork for my tax return, but I can live with both those hang-ups without losing too much sleep.

You've been at CM a long time, too, so you orta know that on these discussion boards, you have no entitlement to that which you're not interested in. That's how they define a hangup, here, rather than it being something that actually interferes with your life's functionality. eg, I (apparently) have a hangup about gambling and horses etc cos there's nothing more boring to me than horse racing. But it really must be a hangup now, because I *mentioned* it publically - see how that works?

To para-phrase from CM discussion history, all doms are really submissives at heart (male doms) just as all men need to get in touch with their feminine side. Submissives have all the power and just because you and I have no interest in getting poked up the shit-um shute-um, never mind actually ordering your sub to do it, we're both clearly homo-phobes, too.

How do you get through your day with all the hangups surging through your mind? [:D] & [;)]

Focus.