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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
According to Google, Houston is 51 miles away.

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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I just scanned her posts, I don't see the female dom post. Are you sure it's the same person.

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I've always paid for my own trips and drinks, etc...

If you can't afford to do that then only look local. Don't expect someone else to pay your expenses. I personally find that to be completely lame.

I have paid for my own trips also but one guy I travelled to meet postponed on me after I had already rented a car, he told me he would pay the cost of that 1 day rental cost but the following week when I did meet him, he conveniently forgot about that and never did reimburse me for my unnecessary cost.. imo, if a guy offers to pay for part of the cost of travel but then doesn't, well.. imo take that as him showing his hand in his willingness to keep his word or not (obviously its not a good sign if he doesn't, imo).. and when a guy offers to pay, he should not need to be "reminded" of his promise, he either keeps his word or doesn't.. he is either honorable or he's not.. either trustworthy or not.. it shows his character and how important you are to him (or not).. jmo..

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ORIGINAL: Rawni

Personally, I feel it is foolish to think that meeting in a public place will protect you from harm. How many rapes or beatings happen from home and public places? I take my security within myself, having prepared to defend myself after I was old enough to do so, because I have been taken right off the street and pulled into a car by someone local to me, known to many. I also had a friend that said, I could take you out of this establishment and no one would do a thing. I said he was wrong. So this six foot three man that looked like a real rough biker, picked me up and carried me out of the place and set me down outside. He said, where are your saviors? He proved to me that a woman has to be her best self defense. I also came down my stairs from putting my kids to bed and found a man there to greet me, someone that had seen me from a place he was visiting.

It can happen in lots of ways. I recommend being prepared for anything, anywhere, anytime. There are things we do that can be a false sense of security for us and we lower our defenses. For me, there is no security... no for sure anything, but I do take care and I am prepared. I will not live in fear, but I will live prepared and aware. Anyone can be fooled... anyone. Anyone, male or female can be set up and taken advantage of or made victim.

To sound as if one way is more secure than another in the society we live in... is fool hardy. There is a chance at every time with anyone that we could be placing ourselves at risk and to take security in a hotel room... rofl... is just not something I would trust. Have you heard or seen what happens in those places? Without living in fear I have met a number of people local and not local, in various situations and only one was an issue and it wasn't physical safety I had to worry about... but his lies and manipulations and coming to a public place.. here, to bring his drama.

We are responsible for our own safety, however we do that and we can be what some might say is wiser and safer, but the facts are, there are no guarantees. We are our own best weapon of protection by many means... but with my experiences, I feel better about meeting them in my home because there I have better protections than hoping a stranger might see and hear and help me in a public place. Tell this protective measure to all those taken from public places that didn't survive. My home is my castle, I reign there and I feel better about it. Yet, I could still be victimized there. Victims can often be people that look like victims to others. This is why they say that when in public and alone, to walk aggressively and look like you know how to take care of business. I know this works and in some places I have lived, it served me well... and that knife I carried did help a time or two when someone got pushy about wanting a 'date'. The worst hours in that area were between five and seven in the evening when all the men were coming home from work and no one expected something to happen in broad daylight. Please don't tell me I should have lived in better places, when I was a single mother, ill and not getting any child support and my income was the only income supporting the kids with specail health problems that cost me over four hundred a month for just one of the kids, that wasn't covered with insurance.

Things happen. The best advice is to teach women to be strong, to not fall for anything that spins a pretty tale or gives them attention and give them self defense classes. Teach them to be badass and to never think no one could take them down... anywhere they might be. Anyone can be taken down... but if you are strong, able and have confidence, you may survive it.

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ORIGINAL: Galvestonnurse

I am definitely working on losing the weight and maybe the idea of just waiting till I feel happier with my weight before I look for a partner has merit. I don't believe in being promiscuous, but unfortunately I have a very high sex drive. Lately I just masturbate several times a day, but even though it's only been a few months since I had sex, I have been more and more tempted to just give in and let my ex Dom win and go back to him (at least for the sex) or give in to one of the guys I dated. There is also another ex Dom who made the same offer. You have actually witnessed in my posts this gradual shift in my thought process. At first, I thought maybe the best course of action would be a clean cut with my ex in favor of finding a new Dom soon, before I got to the point where the need for intercourse would be stronger than my decision to do things the right way, but it's not easy because I guess I am picky. I am attracted to a certain type of man. I like tall men who are at least fit and able to keep up with me. I may be overweight, but I am athletic. I work a very physical job and my shifts are over 12 hours long. That kind of gives you an idea of my stamina. My partner should be in the same kind of shape. It's hard to find a dominant tall fit man who is attracted to BBWs as you can imagine. There are some though not many, but that explains why I had to expand my search. The fact that I have had several dates with men who fit my preferences proves that it's not impossible to eventually meet somebody I am attracted to. But it is extremely difficult to find just the right combination. I know my preference smells of hypocrisy, but that's how it is.

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If you date 20 vanilla guys, and not a single one is interested in kink, something's wrong. Dominants and tops just aren't that unusual.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I've always paid for my own trips and drinks, etc...

If you can't afford to do that then only look local. Don't expect someone else to pay your expenses. I personally find that to be completely lame.

I have paid for my own trips also but one guy I travelled to meet postponed on me after I had already rented a car, he told me he would pay the cost of that 1 day rental cost but the following week when I did meet him, he conveniently forgot about that and never did reimburse me for my unnecessary cost.. imo, if a guy offers to pay for part of the cost of travel but then doesn't, well.. imo take that as him showing his hand in his willingness to keep his word or not (obviously its not a good sign if he doesn't, imo).. and when a guy offers to pay, he should not need to be "reminded" of his promise, he either keeps his word or doesn't.. he is either honorable or he's not.. either trustworthy or not.. it shows his character and how important you are to him (or not).. jmo..

I can completely understand that and for the most part I would agree with you. However, had I never met the guy yet and he canceled for some reason and rescheduled and offered to pay for the one day of rental, I would have turned him down telling him I was there for me and not for him so he owed me nothing at all.

This is just one more reason I say to go to meet someone because you can afford to yourself and you want to be there anyway, with or without him. No expectations whatsoever. Just go and enjoy the time there whether things work out or not. Getting upset or angry about it or feeling someone owes you something is just stupid to me and says you were putting all your eggs in one basket and expecting things to work out.

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When you are in a relationship there are many things said/promised, like monogamy (& avoiding dreaded diseases, etc).. which if he doesn't keep his word about something simple like that, how can something important (like when he says you are the only one) be trusted? That was my point..