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Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/15/2013 7:18:41 PM

StrongAthenaKali

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I am hoping to crowd-source some help to a fantasy I want to help my partner/pet fulfill.

I am looking for a beautiful boy who wants to be controlled, bound ( I love rope ), and submit to me. And also watch my pet wrap his pretty mouth around his cock.

The fantasy is this: I would be the Top of both men, controlling exactly what they do. Both boys would ideally switch, although my partner is probably more interested in being submissive (under my control and guidance of course) than particularly ' toppy' with another man. I have plenty of experience finding female partners for this type of play, but it seems more elusive to find a male partner who is a) ultimately turned on by submitting to me, but b) wants to explore his bisexual side without needing the other man to be feminized or degraded.

Here is my question - I am struggling in my search for this elusive, bi or bi-flexible boy! Am I more likely to find a switch male who wants to bottom to me, but be a big aggressive with him, or look in submissive men who have bisexual fantasies...?

Any help welcome!

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/15/2013 7:40:40 PM

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A while back, a femdom pitched me something similar. She was looking to make real a cuckolding scene, but without intercourse. She knew I had taken massage classes, and asked me if I would sub to her as an alpha slave. Her primary would be in the room, restrained perhaps, and I would serve her, massage, body worship maybe, other stuff, and she would moan about how I was so much better at touching her than her primary partner, he was so worthless compared to me. I thought the idea was pretty hot.

Anyway, that seems to be the general ballpark of what you're asking for. I'll say this. I've done a fair amount of kink with women in (open) vanilla marriages, or with partners who swing one way but not the other when she wants to get switchy. And, I have to say, I'm probably done with it. It's sensation without deeper emotion. Or the deeper emotion comes to the surface and things get dramatic or unethical. I've had to walk away from things before because they started fine, and ended up threatening to violate my morals. I can't be the only man who came to this conclusion, after similar experiences.

So I think you've got a bit of a unicorn hunt on your hands, if you want to find a regular play partner. If all you want is a one-time scene, your best bet might be to pay someone.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/15/2013 10:07:18 PM

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One. Your question is... Let me put that another way. What is your question?

Two. Questions properly answered with "How the fuck could anyone know that?" are seldom worth asking.

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simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

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RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/15/2013 11:16:14 PM

MistressDarkArt

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Craigslist. Look in the m4mw sections, or place an ad yourself. You will be swamped with replies. Be careful, play safe, and good luck. (PS: condoms for any penetrations, even blowjobs, no exceptions.)

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 1:05:26 AM

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I'm somewhat surprised that you're having trouble finding somebody who wants to do this. Depending on where you are located, you can easily hook this up. I will tell you that it's probably easier to put this situation together if you are active in your local kink community and folks know this is one of your kinks. When you have a reputation for enjoying this, people tend to find you.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 4:24:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I'm somewhat surprised that you're having trouble finding somebody who wants to do this. Depending on where you are located, you can easily hook this up. I will tell you that it's probably easier to put this situation together if you are active in your local kink community and folks know this is one of your kinks. When you have a reputation for enjoying this, people tend to find you.

Yeah, there's something unspoken going on, which is why I answered the way I did. Either the photo is fake or she's screening out hookups. Unless the OP clarifies, who knows what the deal is, but if she's legit and having trouble, my guess is she's requiring emotional commitment but offering none.

Also, from the title, she's trying to recruit a submissive for somebody else. We all know how well that works.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 4:33:21 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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FR

I can't be of any help except to echo the comments about getting known in your local community.

But I did want to say major kudos for the tribute comment in your profile.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 5:01:59 AM

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I agree with others. I wouldn't start to look on-line for this sort of scene. Go out and meet people face to face. Voice to them what you are looking for and see how they react. It saves a huge amount on time wasters.

I don't think they are unicorns at all. When I took my sub to OWK I decided it would be fun to do something similar to your scenario. I found the other guy at a fem Domme club and he jumped at the chance even though he was expected to pay for his own flight and accommodation.

You say you have no problem finding female partners for this play. I take it you are going for bi perhaps switch females ? Are you saying that a submissive female is more than happy to suck off your submissive husband?

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RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 5:52:27 AM

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One comment: the lady who asked me about that cuckold scenario is active in her local community, and not unattractive. Even so, she brought it up with me, whom she first knew through online. There are problems with this, as one reason we didn't do the scene was because of the distance involved. But it's believable to me that the OP can't find what she wants in the local community. Though if she hasn't even tried, well....

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MariaB)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 5:56:46 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

One comment: the lady who asked me about that cuckold scenario is active in her local community, and not unattractive. Even so, she brought it up with me, whom she first knew through online. There are problems with this, as one reason we didn't do the scene was because of the distance involved. But it's believable to me that the OP can't find what she wants in the local community. Though if she hasn't even tried, well....

She's in Boston. From what I understand they have a pretty large and active community there.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

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RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 12:11:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongAthenaKali

I am looking for a beautiful boy who wants to be controlled, bound ( I love rope ), and submit to me. And also watch my pet wrap his pretty mouth around his cock.

I'm surprised you're having trouble with this one. It's pretty easy to find a submissive guy who is willing to suck cock or have his cock sucked.

If I were you, I wouldn't be looking here on CM. Instead, I'd start with the local BDSM community. Then I'd try Fetlife and Craigslist.

Good luck.

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 2:01:17 PM

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Is the OP really asking where to find a bi switch in Boston? Like, should she go to a gay bar and find someone that likes leather vs going to a leather bar and finding someone that is bi? Is that really the OP?

Has there been a secret exodus of kinksters from Boston and a bi sub male that will switch on command is now a rare commodity instead of being in the majority?

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 3:25:03 PM

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Hi StrongAthenaKali,

Frankly, despite your nickname, I can't help feeling that you're a being bit of a milksop. It isn't difficult to fire up a sub-inclined male to do an *awful* lot of things that you'd want him to do - so long as you're very assertive about it. I'd suggest you go to a BDSM gathering, find some bloke who takes your fancy, and be *very blunt*. Make it abundantly clear to him how much it would turn you on.

The key thing is: don't press those buttons half-heartedly. Press them *firmly*. Get it? This is how males are wired. Even the kinky ones. You may expect the appearance of shock in said male, or jokes, or disapproval - but this is normal. It takes a while for such stuff to sink in.

Seriously, I'd say: don't be too sensitive and delicate about this. Brassiness is required to get something like this on the go.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 3:54:55 PM

StrongAthenaKali

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Joined: 8/4/2009
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Now I can see why people who are new to the community get frightened away by so-called "forums" like this. I said "help welcome", not "pedantic and condescending bullying welcome."

MistressDarkArt, MariaB, AthenaSurrenders (great name!), RochSub2009, and LadyPact, thank you for your kind and thoughtful replies (and safe sex reminders, which are always welcome). Sometimes it is nice to simply bounce an idea out and see what someone else has tried - particularly when you're feeling like you have run out of creative ideas! I have wonderful and deep connections in our local kink community, but for this particular scene, I would like to branch away from someone my boy and I already know, and the search both online and in-person is going slowly. My difficulty is in finding a submissive or switch man who is comfortable with another man pleasuring him - i.e., would enjoy and feel comfortable with it. Time will surely bring a partner who would enjoy this to my door, through this medium or my local community, and until then I will keep my eyes and ears open!

Shame on you PeonForHer, ResidentSadist, RedMagic1, and FrostedFlake. You are the reason good, intelligent people leave the public kink world and retreat to inner circles. Your distrust and superiority are unwarranted and unwanted. I wish you each luck in finding a more civil and collaborative way to communicate here, and in your personal kink community and remember these wise words of wisdom - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 5:49:30 PM

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Not my fault you are so removed from your "wonderful and deep connections" in the community that you can't find the single most common stereotype in all of BDSM. By my measure, that makes you a tourist or a newcomer. But you didn't pose your question as 'help for the noob', your ego got the best of you and you said some dumb shit like, "I am struggling in my search for this elusive, bi or bi-flexible boy!"

They aren't elusive for any of us. What world do you live in, because it certainly is not the world of leather? So don't try and back peddle, you are too deep in the briar already. Just apologize, admit you're a beginner and talk to us with the same respect any student would towards those they wish to learn from. You don't walk up to a crowd of scientists say "too bad we all know the world is flat" and not expect them to laugh their asses off at you.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 5:57:46 PM

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Seriously, I'd say: don't be too sensitive and delicate about this. Brassiness is required to get something like this on the go.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 7:26:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongAthenaKali
Shame on you PeonForHer, ResidentSadist, RedMagic1, and FrostedFlake. You are the reason good, intelligent people leave the public kink world and retreat to inner circles. Your distrust and superiority are unwarranted and unwanted. I wish you each luck in finding a more civil and collaborative way to communicate here, and in your personal kink community and remember these wise words of wisdom - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I told you my personal experiences, and what I thought would be most likely to work for you, given that you were having a hard time finding a sub male willing to be tied up and sucked off.

Look. I've crowdsourced a bunch of stuff online, and otherwise. The most successful way to start is to say, "This is my goal. I've tried this, this and this. I ran into this this and this obstacle. What do you think about next steps?"

If you're dissatisfied with the responses you are getting on your thread, you could be an adult and take responsibility for providing insufficient data and motivation to generate better responses. That's what goal-oriented people do; they assume responsibility and deliver results.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/16/2013 8:33:52 PM

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Knowing what I know of male subs, you shouldn't have too much trouble finding a sub bi guy willing to do this, it is very, very common. As fucked up as it can be, craigslist could do it, or an ad in the Boston Phoenix (if they still have classifieds..)...... I am surprised you are having trouble, is it you can't find the right person, have tried, or are not sure where to look? Like someone said, the MF for M section of Craigslist, or an ad in the Phoenix or something similar would probably bring a load of responses..or if you you know people in the scene, ask them if they know guys outside the community who might be willing to do this, could be some of them have people outside the kink community they play with....believe me, a lot of bi subs, and even more than a few 'straight' subs, might go for a 'forced bi' kind of thing:)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/17/2013 10:55:50 AM

StrongAthenaKali

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Looks like the moral of the story is "be patient!" Thanks all for the support.

On a related note, I think it's a misnomer that it can be "easy" to find any type of person (as this case illustrates so beautifully) for any type of play. Just because there exists a wealth of individuals who are interested in one facet of play doesn't mean that a good match is easy to come by for a strong and fulfilling connection.

(in reply to njlauren)

RE: Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? - 12/17/2013 11:02:09 AM

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There is a surplus of cuckold wannabes who do not have the requisite female to offer, perhaps you can concentrate your efforts with these individuals.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to StrongAthenaKali)

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