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njlauren -> RE: Does one believe you can have true love in the lifestyle ? (12/19/2013 9:25:20 PM)
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There are a lot of people out there who are in dom/sub relationships and are also in love, many of them married or otherwise life partners. Others hit the nail on the head, a lot of those saying they are sub are really bottoms, and they seek out 'dominants' to have them top them, but that isn't really submission. Using mean as doormats is more of a fetish thing IMO, I have known pretty strict dominants with subs where they are also a couple, and very few treat the other as a doormat; to be honest, a female dominant if they marry someone probably wouldn't be very attracted as a life partner to a sub who would want to be a doormat (I have seen some relationships like that, where the wife is the 'cruel' dominant, humiiates the husband, cucks them, etc, but where that isn't play, but really how they are, I question if they really are a couple..but that is me), most of the dominant women I have known seek in a partner, male or female, someone they are attracted to who is willing, in love, to submit to them, and having a wimp doormat submit isn't particularly attractive from what I can see...
I would be really, really careful about using what you read on sites like this, or even see in life at some places, because the image may be distorted. A lot of the people with ads on here are people looking to get off, to playing, getting topped/bottomed, etc, despite the wording of wanting to be a slave, etc; the women advertising for doormats are often pro dommes, where that kind of roleplay is common. A lot of people out there in real life likewise are into the play aspect and aren't necessarily looking for a relationship (kind of like meeting someone in a bar and having sex).....Lady M's world of having subs that are not romantic, but caring in their own way, is another take on it.
What I can tell you is that there are not a small number of people into BD/SM in its various forms that are also romantically linked to their partners, when I belonged to a BD/SM group years ago, there were a lot of married people or long term couples there......my little piece of advice, if you are looking for a dominant woman to be a sub to her, don't concentrate on that, concentrate on the things that would have a women be attracted to a man or woman, the things that make people fall in love, shared interests, humor, the little things you do for each other, anything you would do to show someone in a vanilla relationship you like them, are interested, and the rest will kind of fall into place if you are truly sub and she is dominant:)
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