RE: so, medicare, or cal i can't remember which, will n... - 1/1/2014 5:32:02 PM
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LittleGirlHeart
Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013 Status: offline
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kiwi, i ttry to keep a good grip on things mentally, But sometimes i often do come "unglued with no warning . Or very little warning, and or it's been builind on and off all day and i thought i was fine and one tiny thing, that normally i'd struggle to, but i could blow it off, sets the keg off.,and my pych dr won't get appointments to people for a month. couple weeks into December, and i had a panic attack and also was struggling really hard with having desires to slam my head into a wall until i passed out or the wall gave, and i was kicking off my covers and kicking my feet and James grabbed me and i flew into a rage, i just started kicking nd screaming and hitting my bed and just, totally lost it, and i almost thought i would have to go in and be sedated because i was that out of control. i would have attacked him too if he was not smart enough to leave me alone. i have rages and out bursts and i go from fine to completely pycho not fine in . seconds sometimes. when i do, i won't and can't resist self harm. and yes i need medical intervention. and it's not me not taking my care seriously enough, or not doing everything i can to stay safe, it's just a fact. i can go from 100 percent fine to 2000 percent unglued, crazy and unsafe in certain situations. Now, it very much IS an issue of call 911 and get taken in because I WILL try to bash my head through a wall or grab what ever is sharp and handy and begin attacking myself, in these situations if James wasn't there to try and stop me, or go ahead and do it. and i don't care if you disapprove, but when i am rational i very much do not want to try to kill myself. I do think in that case calling 911 ND GOING in is appropriate, and so does my therapist. and no you can't " go to a dr's office and have your pych issues dealt with" when it's after hours and you're litterally steps away from self harm. And one year, a depressed suicidal person in my life went out to find something to kill themselves with with on their birthday after we had a fight after, i had a panic attack and we faught cuz they were being an ass during my pa.no warning they were, fine and we were arging and then they said fine, well im just going to go kill myself, they got up and went to go get the tool kit with a hamme rin it, and no it was not some power play stunt, if i hadn't called 911 they would have taken the hammer or anything else they could have found to their head, so naturally i called 911 which the police said i was right to do, and depressed person thanked me later for having done so. Pych emergencies are not these nice, neat, things you can wrap up in a box and not be affected by suddenly. with no warning it was coming.or not warning enough in time. But anyway this isn't about me an my issues, i was posting so as to have a discussion about did any one else know these changes had come.
< Message edited by LittleGirlHeart -- 1/1/2014 5:56:35 PM >
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We'll fight, not out of spite For someone must stand up for what's right 'Cause where there's a man who has no voice There ours shall go singing
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