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Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 4:01:23 AM   
dananddawn


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		So to speak.

How do you, slaves, keep your Masters and Owners on track with there goals without being bossy?

For example, dansarani knows I have a goal to meditate daily. But instead of saying "you better meditate before you go to work lazy man!" she says "Sir, do you have time to meditate before work?" When I mumble yes, she lights the candle and makes the preparations so that it is registered in my master brain as "next".

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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 4:32:31 AM   
shadowborn61


Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		I try not to top from the bottom or at least i do not see it as such if i am fixing myself something to eat i ask my wife if she is hungry, When she gets up in the morning i get her coffee and a whole host of minor things i do to make her life more comfortable that i do without thinking about it.
My wife is very good at working towards Her goals and so it is usually Her that is keeping me on track to meet my own goals.

(in reply to dananddawn)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 4:35:53 AM   
shadowborn61


Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		Now i should say that sometimes during play that my wife will instruct me to do certain things she enjoys that may not be seen as a submissive act except that i do them because she instructs me to

(in reply to shadowborn61)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 7:23:40 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I tend to trust him to do what he says he will do - he is the leader in our relationship, after all!

Every now and then he'll say 'remind me to...' and when the time comes I will say 'don't forget you have to...'. Otherwise, I'll figure he's changed his mind and it's not my place to question that.

Now, the only time I take control is in cooking. I know how to prepare a healthy meal and he knows I want to take care of his health, so he leaves it up to me to prepare something he'll enjoy without having to check up on me.

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There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to dananddawn)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 7:35:30 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		wording is essential to show respect.
This phrase comes to mind:
"You have instructed me to remind you of....if you still please"

The balance of power remains in harmony.

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 7:55:38 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		When your sub is acting in the capacity of a personal assistant or any other support position, I wouldn't consider this to be Topping from the bottom. If you're a smart boss, you would want to have an efficient employee who doesn't require having her/his hand held, takes the initiative to do what needs to be done, keeps on top of things and reminds you of important matters when necessary (or even the most mundane), essentially to go beyond what's listed in her/his basic job description.

It isn't our function as Masters/Mistresses to spoonfeed our subs, enable them, or fail to encourage them to excel and be the best that they can be, which includes exercising their judgment. Don't forget that the root of the word "boss" is Master, e.g. Dutch baas=master, Frisian baes=master. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/boss

IMO, Topping from the bottom is more of a manipulative strategy on the part of a submissive to get her/his way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowborn61

Now i should say that sometimes during play that my wife will instruct me to do certain things she enjoys that may not be seen as a submissive act except that i do them because she instructs me to

Now, this is how I prefer to incorporate (consensual) Topping from the bottom.-^

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 1/2/2014 8:04:43 AM >

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 12:47:03 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		"Hey Honey, you asked me to remind you to do X. Did you get to it yet?".

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to FieryOpal)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 3:46:04 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5172
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		You want to meditate daily. She arranges it so that you do what you want to do. How is that topping from the bottom?

I ask Gary daily if he weighed himself and what his blood sugar was. I ask if he wants his shots before I go to bed and make sure he's taken his pills. I tell him when he's supposed to do blood work. When his breathing sounds raspy I ask him to do a nebulizer. These things are not topping from the bottom. They are part of taking care of my dom so that he is as healthy as possible.

Edited to add:

I must be doing something right. The doctors gave him 3-7 years on his lung transplant. He is now at 12 1/2 years.

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We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to dananddawn)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 3:54:46 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		i just tell him....because he handles the money....I will say...this bill needs to be paid this week, can you pick up xyz at the store or do you want me to get it.....do you need to get up for work now....(his hours are crazy)....tonight is trash night....am I taking it out or are you. In our household...it's called communication...not topping from the bottom.

(in reply to dananddawn)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 3:58:25 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

You want to meditate daily. She arranges it so that you do what you want to do. How is that topping from the bottom?

I ask Gary daily if he weighed himself and what his blood sugar was. I ask if he wants his shots before I go to bed and make sure he's taken his pills. I tell him when he's supposed to do blood work. When his breathing sounds raspy I ask him to do a nebulizer. These things are not topping from the bottom. They are part of taking care of my dom so that he is as healthy as possible.

Edited to add:

I must be doing something right. The doctors gave him 3-7 years on his lung transplant. He is now at 12 1/2 years.


Awesome example, peppermint!

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 4:00:07 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

When your sub is acting in the capacity of a personal assistant or any other support position, I wouldn't consider this to be Topping from the bottom. If you're a smart boss, you would want to have an efficient employee who doesn't require having her/his hand held, takes the initiative to do what needs to be done, keeps on top of things and reminds you of important matters when necessary (or even the most mundane), essentially to go beyond what's listed in her/his basic job description.


Yes, I think my 11 years of working as a Personal Assistant/Executive Assistant/Office Manager helps make me a great submissive.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/2/2014 11:50:15 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		My Master is a pretty forgetful person sometimes, so even things that are important to him can slip his mind. So one of my jobs is to help him with that and help remind him of stuff that I know he intended to do.

Sometimes, I do need more specific instruction on what to remind him of, though. Because sometimes I feel insecure about reminding him of certain things. For example, reminding him to take pictures of me. He tells me he wants to do it, then forgets. To me, having pictures taken of me is really hard and I get very self-conscious and insecure about it, and it's easy for me to think that rather than forgetting about doing it, he actually just doesn't want to do it, and so I feel like reminding him is more like me trying to convince him that he wants to do it. So what helps then is him specifically telling me to remind him about it, and giving me a schedule of when/how to remind him. The structure/instruction of it makes it much more comfortable for me.

(in reply to dananddawn)
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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/3/2014 8:34:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

So to speak.

How do you, slaves, keep your Masters and Owners on track with there goals without being bossy?

For example, dansarani knows I have a goal to meditate daily. But instead of saying "you better meditate before you go to work lazy man!" she says "Sir, do you have time to meditate before work?" When I mumble yes, she lights the candle and makes the preparations so that it is registered in my master brain as "next".


I don't.

Master is a responsible man and I can't remember the last time I had to remind him of something. I just don't have to. He's just a man who makes sure he does what he says and says what he does.

Now there are times when I might ask him something out of curiosity if he did something or whatever, but not to remind him, not to nag him but just because I'm curious.

I'm also his "secretary" so I will just give him a rundown on our schedules and such at the beginning of the week but once I tell him, I don't remind him. I just have never had to. He's really, really good about being responsible. It's one of the huge, huge things I love about him.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/3/2014 8:36:09 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I tend to trust him to do what he says he will do - he is the leader in our relationship, after all!

Every now and then he'll say 'remind me to...' and when the time comes I will say 'don't forget you have to...'. Otherwise, I'll figure he's changed his mind and it's not my place to question that.

Now, the only time I take control is in cooking. I know how to prepare a healthy meal and he knows I want to take care of his health, so he leaves it up to me to prepare something he'll enjoy without having to check up on me.


Yup, yup. This sounds like us as well.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/3/2014 9:13:57 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Reminding him of things he needs to do is not what I consider topping from the bottom.

Usually it's along the lines of, "Babe, were you still planning on doing such n such?" or, "Oh, don't forget, you wanted to do such n such."

When it comes to fitness, it's, "Do you want to come to the gym with me, or are you going to stay home?"

But mostly he remembers on his own. I'm the forgetful one of the bunch.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! - 1/4/2014 7:13:05 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		We do it in a similar way as dawn, asking questions.

There are things like his medication that we just being to him because it is a standing order.

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 16
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