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..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total power... - 1/7/2014 8:59:48 AM

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/17/2013
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morning!

i was curious if anyone would be willing to share when / how / at what age they were when they first really honed in on their submissive needs/cravings. further, if it applies, i'd love to hear experiences of those who are involved or have previously been involved in a total power exchange or something similar.

i have found that the idea of giving up control, given that in my vanilla life i'm so very controlling as a business woman, etc, really fulfills me. it seems, really, that the more control i give up to someone the more "in control" and centered i feel. does this resonate with anyone else?

lastly, i read once that one feels freedom and liberation in giving up control to her Master...does this ring true for you?

thanks for sharing, if you choose to do so! :)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 9:10:57 AM

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Joined: 4/7/2009
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In all of my relationships, I always followed my partners lead, it was until my mid forties when I was introduced to D/s, that I discovered how easy it was to fit into the role of a submissive and be under the complete control of another. Yes being under that complete control is very liberating, as obiedience is the only optopn.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 9:27:18 AM

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Joined: 10/17/2013
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thank you for your reply!! i am always interested to hear when ppl find out about their submissive (or dom, frankly) tendencies ... i have a friend who is in her 20's actually and she is already VERY much aware of her submissive role and very well versed on the D/s way of things...sometimes i'm a little envious of her as she's so clear on who she is at such a young age, and i'm only just now finally figuring it out at 33!

(in reply to retiredsublady)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 10:14:05 AM

D0MBLKMAN2Serve

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/8/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16

... i have a friend who is in her 20's actually and she is already VERY much aware of her submissive role and very well versed on the D/s way of things...sometimes i'm a little envious of her as she's so clear on who she is at such a young age, and i'm only just now finally figuring it out at 33!

I think self realization plays an important part and so does upbringing. You certainly feel silly that she at 20 is much more 'worldly wise' in this area than you are, perhaps because the times; "education" materials on this subject is much more widely and freely available, awareness is at a high and this subject is discussed much more openly after the huge success of "50 shades trilogy", I know I grew up in a city and it is much more easier to get exposed to such lifestyles in cities etc. Everything plays a part.
I know of a lovely sub lade who realized her calling to this lifestyle at 38 and now 4 yrs later is happier in this lifestyle than she has ever been. I was exposed to it at 17 and had ample opportunities to learn and hone my desires and wants to finally understand what I need now!

Bottom line, you have now opened your eyes, keep it open and enjoy! All the best!

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 11:39:25 AM

Posts: 56
Joined: 12/7/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16

morning!

i was curious if anyone would be willing to share when / how / at what age they were when they first really honed in on their submissive needs/cravings. further, if it applies, i'd love to hear experiences of those who are involved or have previously been involved in a total power exchange or something similar.

i have found that the idea of giving up control, given that in my vanilla life i'm so very controlling as a business woman, etc, really fulfills me. it seems, really, that the more control i give up to someone the more "in control" and centered i feel. does this resonate with anyone else?

lastly, i read once that one feels freedom and liberation in giving up control to her Master...does this ring true for you?

thanks for sharing, if you choose to do so! :)

46 yo was when i gave into submissiveness with Hnter. I have always been in control of my environment in every way..till Him. I ran 3 businesses as a "boss" hate the term....Hnter has me under His thumb He took me gradually and thoughtfully under His control. 53 yo old now and still under His thumb :)

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 12:13:09 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I was 48. I had desires earlier but had not until then met someone I could respect enough to hand over authority to. He's the first person I've met that wanted the responsibilities more than the rights. And for me that, and a proven history of handling authority well, was required for me to hand over control.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to HntersToy)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 12:28:16 PM

Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
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FR,

Please keep these guidelines in mind if you post about something about yourself that happened under the age of 18.

Posts involving Minors.

These are acceptable as long as they are not about sexual acts involving children. Discussions about a persons own childhood is permitted as long as there are no details of sexual encounters or acts. For example -
User A mentions that as a child, they had submissive tendencies or enjoyed being tied up with rope = acceptable.
User B mentions having underage sex as a teen = acceptable.
User C mentions encountering sexual abuse as a child without specific details = acceptable.
User D mentions having sex with a minor = not acceptable.
User E mentions specific sexual acts as a minor with details = not acceptable.
User F mentions they are underage = not acceptable and please inform one of admin immediately.

Discussing the whys and wherefores around the topic of children is ok. Specific sexual activities are not.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 1:21:55 PM

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
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I actually wrote a lengthy journal entry about this... I grew up in a very "traditional" family. My dad is very dominant, my mom was extremely submissive..probably closer to "slave" like. I mean these terms as personality descriptions NOT kinky or sexual or BDSM...
My older sister is much like my dad and I joke that she was my very first Dom. She decided what color our room would be, where my bed was (we shared a room), how I dressed, if my friends were "good" influences or not.. She is only 4 yrs older than me but I grew up knowing that what she said to do was in my best interest. It worked for my dad because she is your classic first born and was enforcing rules that he expected.

As far as physical desires... Strangely, I never had a "vanilla" fantasy. Even before I knew anything beyond "happily ever after" and thought babies came from kissing... I fantasized about strong, commanding men and woman who were ravaged....

Maybe I need a therapist....

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/7/2014 1:50:14 PM

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/17/2013
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tiemeinknots--
yes!! me, too. always have wanted the controlling/dominant man, always has been my fantasy as well...i was always sort of looked at as odd back in college when i'd talk about what made me tick in that regard--all the sorority sisters of mine wanted the fairy tale...

but like anything, i think it's all about balance. i can dig and get down w/ a fairy tale and prince charming...so long as he also has a serious dominant side and can exert more control than me...HOTTTTT.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/8/2014 3:02:57 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/6/2005
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I actually realized it a while ago and never acted on it. Always felt lost and unsure at times. I am almost 40, I am am educated, have a double major in Business. Choose to work in the service industry (restaurant). I have finally met a man who is able to get me to submit. He is confident, he nurtures at times, and he says all the right things to me at times. Although when he is at work, he gets so busy he forgets at times....we are still learning our balance for each other. He has suggested I check this site out and I did and found the message boards amazing as I am trying to fulfill my role as his submissive. He has made it clear, that I have at times displeased him. I am realizing though at times when I feel alone and need him most, he is always there for me. I am naturally confident, and starting my own business this year and as I'm doing so I am thankful that I have him in my life to keep me grounded on the tasks at hand with getting my business off the ground and built to be successful.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/8/2014 5:43:29 PM

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I can't say how old I was because it is a TOS violation. It did not feel as if it was some sort of revelation or freedom. It was just what it was. Me, because I was unable to respond any other way but to be submissive.
I think it is the difference between going toward this because it wets your panties and doing it because there is no other script in your programming.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 2:48:13 AM

xxxDuerringOwned

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/13/2014
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Hmm.. its hard to say for me. I realized I had submissive tendencies about 7 years ago but didn't know ANYTHING about D/s relationships. In all honesty I thought my uncommon desires was just me going nutty. I never confided any of my uncommon desires in the men of my past relationships. I had a fear that if I did it would send them running for the hills. It took me a while to realize that even though I wasn't voicing any of this to anyone I still found myself trying to find someone who was naturally dominant enough to satisfy my wants. Each one of those relationships ended pretty badly for one reason or another. I stayed pretty frustrated with everything all the time. When I first learned of D/s relationships I was reading the 50 Shades of Grey book series (this being only last month I might add). Started doing some research and was able to put begin to put pieces together. I was pretty relieved to find out I wasn't just insane. (Although the thought of being put in a straight jacket and letting my fiance have his way with me is a bit appealing lol!) I still had that fear though that if I explained all this to my fiance I'd send him running. About a week later something happened between us that made me feel like he would be a little more accepting of all this. I explained my desire to be controlled. Frankly, the idea of being in control of anything disgusts me. To my relief my confession didn't send him packing. And in turn he revealed a confession of his own. Turns out he has quite a Dominant side himself which I am itching to explore once I learn a bit more about the lifestyle. :)

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 3:09:31 AM

SlipSlidingAway

Posts: 223
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

I did not know anything about Ds or BDSM until I was in my early thirties. I'd lived a very sheltered life and, if not for the internet, there is a good chance I still would not be aware of this lifestyle's existence.

However, when I stumbled across that first website, I had an "AHA!" moment. I could finally put a label on something that was intrinsically part of who I am. Much like TieMeInKnottss I'd never had a "vanilla" fantasy. My earliest recollections, long before I was sexually aware, include fairy-tales of dominant men and submissive women- and that was exactly the way I liked it.

_____________________________

"...ethical behavior should be based...on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. " —Albert Einstein

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 7:01:32 AM

Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
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My journey into mastery began in the second year of my marriage. My wife told me her fantasy was to be a slave forced to do the Sultans bidding. I said disrobe and kneel before me. She did. I told her to vibrate herself and blow me without using her hands. I came and remained rock hard, I bent her over the bed and took her from behind. I never felt such intensity or sexual excitement in my life.

We went back to our normal sex life. I kept thinking of that night and the story of O. I knew I wanted my wife to be my slave. I asked and she said absolutely not. Sexually submissive maybe but no slave. I agreed and set rules. At first she thought they were funny. After I made her go into the closet to get a strap and present her tits. Nothing was funny anymore. It became intense. She loved me so much that she would do whatever I asked. For our forth anniversary she gave me a slave contract. A week later I gave her a Harem costume. I remember that night like yesterday

(in reply to SlipSlidingAway)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 7:47:05 AM

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Joined: 10/17/2013
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bluewordsman---that was awesome. thank you for sharing!! wow!!!! totally freaking awesome. good for you both!!

(in reply to Blueswordsman)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 11:10:07 AM

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/15/2010
Status: offline

I was very very young. By 14 I had a very good understanding of my submissive tendencies and the feelings I craved.

By 19 I had a much better idea of just how submissive I was, and how natural it felt. Thennn I went and fell for a normal, vanilla guy. Great guy, not Dominant in the slightest. It wasn't until about six months ago (almost three years later) that I realized I wouldn't ever be complete and happy keeping those feelings tucked away. So here I am.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 12:14:24 PM

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Joined: 10/3/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Runningkc

I was very very young. By 14 I had a very good understanding of my submissive tendencies and the feelings I craved.

By 19 I had a much better idea of just how submissive I was, and how natural it felt. Thennn I went and fell for a normal, vanilla guy. Great guy, not Dominant in the slightest. It wasn't until about six months ago (almost three years later) that I realized I wouldn't ever be complete and happy keeping those feelings tucked away. So here I am.

If you man loves you but can't fulfill your cravings and you both agree. You could consider an R rated platonic relationship with another man or woman that can fulfill your cravings without the romance.

(in reply to Runningkc)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/14/2014 4:46:52 PM

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Joined: 2/15/2010
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It wasn't just a sexual issue. I had to handle all the decisions we made as a couple, which I can do, but it's not natural and I don't enjoy it.

We also talked about bringing in a girl, which would have helped temporarily (I was grasping at straws at that point), and he wasn't on board for that. So there really wasn't much I could do to salvage it, other then to continue to repress all those feelings.

< Message edited by Runningkc -- 1/14/2014 4:49:59 PM >

(in reply to Blueswordsman)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/15/2014 10:22:27 AM

nyx84

Posts: 29
Joined: 1/8/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16

morning!

i was curious if anyone would be willing to share when / how / at what age they were when they first really honed in on their submissive needs/cravings. further, if it applies, i'd love to hear experiences of those who are involved or have previously been involved in a total power exchange or something similar.

i have found that the idea of giving up control, given that in my vanilla life i'm so very controlling as a business woman, etc, really fulfills me. it seems, really, that the more control i give up to someone the more "in control" and centered i feel. does this resonate with anyone else?

lastly, i read once that one feels freedom and liberation in giving up control to her Master...does this ring true for you?

thanks for sharing, if you choose to do so! :)

About 5 years (so mid twenties) ago my submissive desires refused to continue being repressed. And i shared them with my other half.

Submitting dosn't make me feel more incontrol but dose make me more centered and at peace with myself.

And yes i only ever feel free when submitting. In the vanilla part of my life I am far more dominant then i am happy with, i cloak myself in artificial dominance as a shield, i worry neurotically over every little thing that can go wrong. When i submit i surender all thay to my other half i don't need my shield he will keep me safe i don't need to worry about everything he'll make sure its ok. All the burdens i carry both the ones i take on willingly because love and concern i have for those i care about and the scars of my past i let go of. I find dealing with it all increadably tiring and when i let go i feel so light and free.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ..realizing your submissive cravings/need...total p... - 1/15/2014 4:19:18 PM

Posts: 42
Joined: 6/26/2012
Status: offline

I think I've always had submissive tendencies. But where I was born there weren't many men that did anything for me. And it's probably better to find a natural Dom as alot of men that claimed they were Dom were just very abusive. Now that I have found a good partner I've been happy ever since. hoping that it lasts forever. I'm 24 by the way.

_____________________________

Proudly Owned by Mr SexxxyChocolate

(in reply to nyx84)

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