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njlauren -> RE: Respecting cultures within kink (1/18/2014 9:59:16 AM)
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The answer is the same with any other type of thing, you end up with tribalism, with 'my tribe is superior to yours'. Someone said this is different that religion, but it isn't, religion comes in many forms, and yes, it is chosen (there is nothing in your DNA that says "I am Catholic" or "I am a Jew", it is often learned behavior from growing up in a family with the faith or around other people, or later on it catches your eye and you say "yeah, that really makes sense to me). In religion, even within the same faith, you see the same kind of parallels you do in BD/SM.....you have the fundamentalists, who have decided that the bible is a literal document, and they base everything on rigid reading of it, which could be a parallel to the Gorean view of things, where they literally act out the stuff that was in the book; you have the various leather protocol/families, who would be roughly equivalent to the Orthodox Catholic idea of things;then, the more progressive forms of Christianity, from Cafeteria Catholics to progressive Christians like the UCC, who see things as "I reserve the right to find my own beliefs".....and yeah, there is the equivalent of 'weird' BD/SM stuff, like adult babies, in religion, think of how people view scientology, Christian Scientists or Mormons, as some examples (or Pagans....)..........
The conflict happens when people's sense of self is not in themselves, but in the group they belong to. A Gorean who feels "this really works for me" will understand that someone who does this in the bedroom or a weekend is expressing themselves as well, whereas a Gorean who feels sense of pride of being Gorean as being the one true way to be a slave and take pride in being on the right path, will look down on others, as fundamentalist/evangelical Christians or Orthodox Catholics often look down on others. The 'old guard' leather types can get sense of self from the idea they are 'authentic' since their protocols and such were 'handed down', 'taught properly' and so forth, but rather than take pride in that this works for them, that there is this structure and history, they turn it into inside "I am really great, because I am on the true path", and then look down on others....if the pride is in finding something that works for you and you recognize it, you aren't as likely to take the attitude like everyone else is a fake. And as others have said, I don't have problems with Goreans or TPE'ers or Old Guard leather protocols or dyke separatist leather types, if that is what floats their boat I think it is great, I only have problems when they want to force everyone else to do as they do, or want to spread, not that they are really happy with what they so and try to share it, but like the douchebags who come to your door at 7am telling you you are going to hell if you dont believe as they do, they get the same response, a kick in the ass.
The BD/SM community has changed a lot in my time in it, that stretches back now almost 30 years, with the last 15 or so within the lifestyle aspects, and interestingly, what I see is it becoming more like a lot of people's views of faith. If polls are right, the faster growing group of people within faith are people who kind of mix and match things, more and more people (maybe even a majority) who claim belief take from a wide variety of beliefs, they no longer believe what Padre Polenta (bonus points to anyone who knows where I got that name from) tells them is the only truth. In BD/SM, groups and events have become lot more mixed , I don't see the old seperatism that once existed, pan events and groups seem much much common, and there isn't the divide their once was between gay and straight and dyke, and with lifestyle BD/SM people I have seen and know, most of them love to share knowledge with others, they love the lifestyle, but they also don't preach the 'true faith', either, and most of them hate that type as much as I do.
The other thing to keep in mind is that internet forums also are not exactly great indicators of anything in real life, these kind of places, because it is cyber, allows people to vent as they wish, and also kind of allows people to have an alter ego that doesn't represent themselves IRL....and I think more than a few simply love to fight....
One word people come up with on here a lot is tolerate, and that is part of the problem. Tolerance in many ways, to quote Tom Paine, is as bad as intolerance, because both start with the fundamental idea that the person has the right to judge, the only difference is with the tolerant person, they decide not to do anything about it. You don't necessarily have to respect scat as a practice, for example, but you can respect the right of others to do it if it floats their boat.......and yeah, I am not saying I am exactly a harbinger of not 'tolerating' things, I try to limit judging based on when people try to force others or harm others, but it is also human to look at things you aren't into and 'judge' them:)
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