RE: trained or un trained??? (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 5:25:23 PM)

as my mate Padriag has clearly stated, this is for each Dominant to decide. On a personal basis, I dont care as long as the slave is suitable for my home then I'll give her a chance (that is why we use probationary collars for a minimum of 30 days). Basically if she is Gorean trained then it is more of me assessing how much she knows in as far as possitions, serves and protocol. The basic training in a house collar will correct anything which needs correcting and she will be brought up to speed if she has no training at all or is missing something. When and if she is recollared into my personal collar then I'll train her on more intimate matters so that she can please me. I do find the training time to be a good time to form close bonds too.. 



wandering4u -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 5:38:54 PM)

As long as the sub is not trained into some unacceptable mannerism, it is fine either way.



HollyS -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 5:49:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy

Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on. "Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a  Master"? 


There are plenty of ways for a sub/slave to add value to themselves through training, regardless of their owner.  The First Skills - obedience, patience, active listening and unobtrusive attentiveness - need to be learned like any other skill.  Some people learn them as children, others come to them later.  Beyond that, learning things such as massage, different styles of cooking and how to valet or serve as a ladies maid are abilities that can be easily modified for any owner's personal taste.  There are always things that can be learned to improve one's value: how to clean leather, bookkeeping, and serving formal dinners are additional skills that may make an owner's life easier.

IMO, learning never stops regardless of whether one is holding the whip or on one's knees.  Being "trained" is an ongoing process...  Providence knows there's worlds of things I've yet to learn.

~Holly



CrappyDom -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 6:06:41 PM)

Here is how I work it.

If the little cunt is hot, like some 20something hottie who I am not likely to be able to add to my harem, I offer to train them using my vast experience which I learned on this stupid CD somebody gave me, so even though they wouldn't consider me relationship material, they end up on their backs while I train them anyway.

If they are timid, sometimes I offer them training as a way of "easing" them into the scene and onto their backs.

For those with a bit more experience who don't buy the above lines of BS I explain my high standards for training in the "high protocol" which always sounds impressive and how if they serve me directly, I will train them in the "old ways" which all the people who have come on the scene after me last week just DON'T understand.



Bearlee -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 6:42:16 PM)

Fast Reply:
 
Okay…my first response was… “Trained to what?”  While that sounds flip, I mean it earnestly.  Okay, if a girl is Gorean…I understand the need to know positions and dancing in silks and what all the new words mean… but otherwise?  WHAT is a submissive trained to do?  Then HollyS pointed out some things that made perfect sense…trained to do things that make her more valuable!  Trades…skills…hobbies?  Makes sense to me.
 
Generally speaking, and this is just my opinion, I’d think experience is what a person needs.  Several touched on this…experience gives a person a place from which to decide what s/he likes, what s/he’s interested in or intrigued by.  Experience also allows one to make informed decisions regarding what are limits, if s/he is to have any. 
 
I consider myself very lucky to have ‘fallen into the hands’ of a couple of really good, very experienced Doms who have become excellent friends/mentors for me.  Very quickly, and safely….and not sexually…I got to experience a number of things; all sorts of toys and sensations, different equipment and how it’s used, different kinds of play…from sensual to quite edgy.  I learned a single-tail that barely kisses my skin feels as lovely as one that leaves bloody welts.  I learned to trust too…and with this, learned about sub-space. 
 
I have not been ‘trained’ to do anything in this ‘lifestyle’…but I have enough experience, I believe, to make me able to choose partners where the pairing would be win/win and myself attractive to the kind of Dominant I’d like; if that makes sense at all.
 
I dunno…that whole intrigue with virgins…I don’t get it; I’d take experienced anyday!
 
MOO; MNSVHO..........YMMV



SweetSarijane -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 6:59:48 PM)

I think any "training" should be done by who you submit to rather than in preparation for a D/s or M/s relationship by someone else. As before stated, not all Doms will want the same things of their subs/slaves, so unless Gorean, then I see no need for training beforehand. Now experience is a different matter. I think it's very important to gain basic understanding and experience before just up and submitting to someone. Getting involved in the local bdsm community, making friends, going to munches, parties, classes, etc. as well as reading books like The Bottoming Book, SM 101 and others that explain aspects of bdsm are great ways to gain understanding and experience, and hopefully better prepare you to make that commitment to a Dom when the time comes.



ownedgirlie -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 7:03:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

This will turn into a shit-slinger...
My side is that you come and learn how I want things done, there is no training you could recieve that I can find acceptable.

And now the other side......

LOL


My thoughts exactly....and...

quote:


I always have this vision of a girl looking up at me when attached to my genitailia and saying "This is how MasterFearsomeTrainer trained me how to do it"

Imagine.

Why Ron I nearly spewed my wine!



marieToo -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 7:08:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Here is how I work it.

If the little cunt is hot, like some 20something hottie who I am not likely to be able to add to my harem, I offer to train them using my vast experience which I learned on this stupid CD somebody gave me, so even though they wouldn't consider me relationship material, they end up on their backs while I train them anyway.

If they are timid, sometimes I offer them training as a way of "easing" them into the scene and onto their backs.

For those with a bit more experience who don't buy the above lines of BS I explain my high standards for training in the "high protocol" which always sounds impressive and how if they serve me directly, I will train them in the "old ways" which all the people who have come on the scene after me last week just DON'T understand.


funny funny funny stuff!



IronBear -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 8:00:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Here is how I work it.

If the little cunt is hot, like some 20something hottie who I am not likely to be able to add to my harem, I offer to train them using my vast experience which I learned on this stupid CD somebody gave me, so even though they wouldn't consider me relationship material, they end up on their backs while I train them anyway.

If they are timid, sometimes I offer them training as a way of "easing" them into the scene and onto their backs.

For those with a bit more experience who don't buy the above lines of BS I explain my high standards for training in the "high protocol" which always sounds impressive and how if they serve me directly, I will train them in the "old ways" which all the people who have come on the scene after me last week just DON'T understand.


Excelent post.. My word old chap you are really outdoing yourself in being a complete arsehole aren't you? [:-]



CrappyDom -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 9:24:07 PM)

I do have my little talents



LadyHugs -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 10:53:02 PM)

Dear submissiveclassy, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Majority of posts do support the thoughts I have on the 'training' aspects. 
 
Every experience, good or bad that you have as you grow in the scene can be deemed 'training.'  No different from life itself.
 
That said, many support and educational groups do teach and or educate basic 'scene' etiquette/manners.  Some groups take the handouts of past presentations putting them onto CD-Roms as to aid in people's efforts to gather information.  Some individuals save to file on CD-Rom, their presentations.  Despite the sarcasm, researching and investigating on your own, can be deemed training.
 
However, your question was broad.  Should the question have been if research, attending education and support groups, attending and or participating in BDSM, M/s, D/s, S&M functions and or exploring with another; such experiences would only help add to the knowledge and information base as to ask more questions and gain more answers.
 
As a dominant, in my mind's eye--I would prefer training a slave and or submissive when it came to more personal service and not general social service/behavior.  People have their own tastes on what they want in their lives; what protocol, etiquette, manners and styles to train by.
 
Furthermore, I would see no harm in sharing personal tastes, training styles and the basis for such; with the understanding that another dominant may reflect a totally different way.  Each offers something and should only influence when it benefits the relationship they wish to pursue in the future.  Just know and perhaps expect, that your future owner and those that follow, will always supersede what was learned before.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



Estring -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 11:42:44 PM)

More important than being trained or not is the desire to serve and obey your new Master. If the desire is there, anything is possible. 



wandering4u -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/6/2006 2:41:50 AM)

Lady Hugs,
You have a way of getting to the core of the issue and summing it up so nicely!

Thanks



SirDarkside357 -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/7/2006 3:42:45 PM)

I can only answer for myself..... but to me it doesn't matter, all slaves in my family unit of DSF start as a novice, no matter how much training they have had by others.  They must learn the DSF way to be a part of it.  Actually, if a slave has been trained by another, it sometimes makes re-training harder... but a challange isn't always a bad thing. WEG.

Darkside



OsideGirl -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/8/2006 7:50:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy

Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on.   " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a  Master"?  


Trained for what? A triathalon? To be a Cordon Bleu chef?




IronBear -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/8/2006 7:57:13 AM)

Cordon Bleu Cheff, Pastry Cheff, Butler, Driver, Body Guard,and Sex Machine.... Must have attained marks in the topten in all the above..... 



OsideGirl -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/8/2006 8:10:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Cordon Bleu Cheff, Pastry Cheff, Butler, Driver, Body Guard,and Sex Machine.... Must have attained marks in the topten in all the above..... 


Okay, but now I'm worried about who will be giving the marks......... [;)]



IronBear -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/8/2006 8:13:15 AM)

I thought you volunteered for that possition Bobbi lass



OsideGirl -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/8/2006 8:52:39 AM)

[:)]



RexLongBeach -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/9/2006 12:45:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy
Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on. " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a Master"?

So much depends on what's meant here by "training." Many of us have heard tell of offers of training that were little more than "hey, I'll beat you and then you can give me a blow job." Not that I have any objection to sexual play, but it doesn't really qualify as "training," does it?

If the training included some real understandings of the D/s lifestyle, getting along with a Dominant (aka resolving misunderstandings, acceptance of role), understanding herself and why she chooses to submit, I would find that helpful. Really helpful, and more so if she'd been in a multi-year D/s relationship. Because I'd be able to have a better shot, with the things she's learned about herself (and tested in the waters of real life), of knowing if she'd be a good partner for a long term thing.

If she learned some cool D/s stuff, that's fine too. I mean, I know I have my ways and all that but what's the objection to having a girl that knows some slave dance? Or massage? Or erotic serves?

Real training is a good thing. Beatings and bjs are good too, but let's not call 'em training, eh?

Rex



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