RE: trained or un trained??? (Full Version)

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lilninotchka -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/15/2006 3:16:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Here is how I work it.

If the little cunt is hot, like some 20something hottie who I am not likely to be able to add to my harem, I offer to train them using my vast experience which I learned on this stupid CD somebody gave me, so even though they wouldn't consider me relationship material, they end up on their backs while I train them anyway.

If they are timid, sometimes I offer them training as a way of "easing" them into the scene and onto their backs.

For those with a bit more experience who don't buy the above lines of BS I explain my high standards for training in the "high protocol" which always sounds impressive and how if they serve me directly, I will train them in the "old ways" which all the people who have come on the scene after me last week just DON'T understand.


[:D]  and way too many would fall for that bs and then come here to complain, so do us all a favor and don't...



Tristero -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/16/2006 2:20:48 PM)

I look at the relationship with my sub as something highly personal between the two of us. D/s is a relationship between two people (or sometimes more *evil grin*). Even if she has been "trained" by someone else previously, her role in our relationship is to submit to my control and my will. Given that the previous Dom isn't me (obviously), I doubt that her previous training is going to be that relevant to her relationship with me.

There might be some "skills" that are transferrable, but this isn't a car assembly line, folks. You're not learning how to place Bolt A into Slot B with sufficient torque to hold the parts together. You're learning how to serve (or control) another individual. Certainly understanding of your self and your own limits can be valuable in any context, but in the end, any previous training is going to be meaningless unless me and my sub can treat each as individuals and comprehend the other's desires and needs. 



IronBear -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/16/2006 2:33:41 PM)

It is similar for me like makig swords and other weap[ons including sophisticaled explosive devices. I can get one ready made and adapt it to my needs, I can get one partly made and finish it to suit my needs or I can build one from the raw materials to my exact requirements... The end result will be the same of the starting material is suitable. the secret is in assessing the slave correctly and then knowing what you need to do and if it is in your best interests to do anything or to look elsewhere.



MstrssPassion -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/18/2006 5:47:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy

Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on.   " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a  Master"?  


I didn't read the thread... well aside from the first comment from mnottertail saying this could be a shit-slinger... figured I would skip past that possibility.

Trained ...

Trained in what? Service? Physical interaction?
Would that training mirror my own methods?
Very unlikely.

Would that previous training benefit me with the instruction of my own training?
Based on my experience... eh 50/50 chance of a positive result.

Untrained...

I have found it is best to start with a clean slate... so long as there is real sincere desire to surrender (a true heart). This is also one of the most elusive types to be found.

Sincerity is also the factor that I have discovered must be present in those who have previous training & I had any success rate with re-training.

So my short answer would be that trained or untrained really doesn't matter to me so long as the person proved themselves to be sincere about the desire to serve.



MrrPete -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/18/2006 6:18:31 AM)

You could say that a submissive woman with 5 yrs experience as a kajira has been trained.

If I were the next Dom in her life she would have to unleran some of her training because
some things they do irritate me ie speaking in third person.

So whether they have experience or not I will teach them how to serve me. I want a slave
that has the ability to make her own decisions when required.



marsman -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 9:45:15 AM)

Here is my 2 cents.

Each Dom will want his submissive to behave in his own defined ways. But there are safe ways of doing things and unsafe ways.

It is good for a submissive to take BDSM classes if possible to learn how bondage, flogging, etc. are done safely and efficiently. (It is even better if the Dom takes classes!)

For example it is good to know that when you are in bondage and you feel "bad" pain that it is time to call your safe word. That if a Dom ever leaves you alone while you are in bondage, that it is time to leave that Dom!

It is good to know where the best places are for flogging. For example if a Dom ever starts cropping your spine then call the safe word and consider a quick exit...

There are right ways (safe) and wrong ways (unsafe) of doing BDSM and it helps a lot if the Dom and/or submissive is experienced enough to know the difference.




michaelGA2 -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 9:47:14 AM)

let me tell you that, from all the emails i've gotten from Mistresses...so far, none want aun untrained sub. so basically, i'm screwed before i begin.



MsKatHouston -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 9:54:38 AM)

quote:

let me tell you that, from all the emails i've gotten from Mistresses...so far, none want aun untrained sub. so basically, i'm screwed before i begin.


I don't care about training prior to me.  That's my job.  A sub who has been trained to the preferences of another Domme often has to start with being UNtrained in particular items.  There is, however, a difference in my mind between training and knowledge.  I prefer that a sub actually knows what they want and has read enough to have some basic knowledge of the lifestyle and possible expectations.  I also prefer an intelligent sub who is well established and independent.  I do not have an interest in being someone's experimentation but no training or newbies who know what they are looking for are fine with me.



michaelGA2 -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 10:02:02 AM)

that makes You a rare Gem in this...umm...setting (for lack of something else positive to say about it), Ma'am. maybe some of the Mistresses i've talked to use "prefering to have a trained sub" as an excuse not to procede further and brush me off...just an observation, Ma'am.



ropedoll -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 10:23:45 AM)

IMO having some training means that:
he/she understands concequences, when he/she disobeys,
he/she understands that he/she must try to do the things He/She tells him/her,
he/she understands that there is a reason but he/she won't always get the answer,

Let's pretend here that i put in the he/she thruout the rest of this post.

It' means alot of things, there is a lot of communication and explaining and teaching to help a submissive understand, and many new submissives want it all right now, and will leave quickly after learning a few tricks, and still not getting their way, after you have spent this time with her.

It's not just about training for positions or training how to enter the room, present one's self, speaking properly, setting the home, or what ever you train Your's to do. I simply believe that a submissive should take the time to learn and be trained a bit in things such as etiquet and stance, expectations, position and speech.

When i end a relationship with One, i not only am self responsible for removing the baggage as i am of untraining certian things that He had me do. 

I am not knocking those who desire a completely untrained submissive, we all have to start somewhere. However i do beleive that a submissive should do some reading and learning before seeking a Dominant to "teach her everything".

Best of luck

jen




michaelGA2 -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 10:35:10 AM)

i'm not totally untrained though, my experiences thus far derive from online training. there's just no Mistress here willing (dare i say "or able") to train me in the real world.



MzMinx -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/27/2006 4:42:42 PM)

attitude  is far more important than training

I love service so any  person who has spent time acquiring skills *smiles*  is nice .. but its a nicety not a manditory .......its the way  they  react to me that is  important... its who they are  what they seek and need... and how that matches my desires and needs

I have never told any one I would like them more trained ... but i have expressed to some I dont think they know what they want ... they dont know themselves or what they are trying to offer well enough as yet

experience and knowledge (different from training) at any level .. eg thinking about desires and needs... conversing with people.. reading on a subject.... going to workshops, demos  or  watching others  as well as possably actualy play and service in  real  etc etc  can   help  someone not only understand their own desires  but  help them articulate them to me ....

*warm smile* ....  but what we would create together is unigue   so previouse training isnt required .. and yes sometimes those who have been trained need bad habits/thought processes removed



iowastud -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/28/2006 8:16:16 AM)

id rather have someone untrained so i could train them as i want them.



Kashan -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/28/2006 2:06:05 PM)

Structural repair? Oh my! However, I think it would just be rude, not to mention disrespectful to say such a thing as this is how so and so liked it, even to a vanilla partner, so it would be just stupid to say it to one's new Master, no?



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/28/2006 5:32:31 PM)

I know this may have been said a thousand times but I will place my opinion in here anyway ... I appreciate a girl who has sometraining . some basic fundamentals of what she is supposed to be doing and how she is supposed to do it. tho it's true when she comes to me she will need to learn my way . if she has the fundamentals down she can easily learn my ways.
 
I have trained a few girls . one thing I tell them is this . if I teach you 50 things and you need 5 of them with your Master then you will have a head start on the training he is going to give you too



SirDarkside357 -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/29/2006 5:02:09 AM)

Actually, it doesn't matter to me.  All slaves that enter my family begin as a novice.  They must learn my way.  I have had slaves that had been well trained by others that had a difficult time learning my way because her old way got in the way..... others that were well trained by others learned very fast the DSF way......same goes for the slaves that had never been trained, some took to it well, others didn't...... I guess what I am saying is...it truly depends on the individual slave and not so much on her previous training or lack of it.

Be Well,
Darkside



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