RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style?

Page: << < prev 4 5 6 7 [8]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? - 2/27/2014 10:39:15 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Late to the conversation but I haven't been around much. Mostly skimmed, but wanted to jot down my own thoughts.

I spent almost 20 years in a marriage in which I was not loved, and 4 years in another relationship (I called it M/s at the time) in which I was not loved. In both relationships, I loved immensely. And I was OK (or so I thought) with not being loved in return. The opportunity to give my love is what I wanted.

But there was always a longing, and a loneliness I couldn't explain. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be OK with not being loved.

I'm in a relationship now - 5 years in - in which I am loved. It is the most beautiful, secure, lovely experience of my live, to be so loved. It is also my nature to submit to the man I love as completely as I can. It would be disrespectful to both him and to myself (and to the relationship) to try to somehow use or manipulate his love for me for my own personal satisfaction or benefit. Actually, it wouldn't benefit me at all to do so, because that behavior would counter who I am.

So far he hasn't (or so I've noticed) allowed his love for me to stop him from getting exactly what he wants from me. As for D/s, M/s, O/p, XYZ. LMNOP...we're some combo of that - I don't spend a lot of energy defining it. He leads us. I do what he says. We love each other. We're stupidly happy. So, whatever the definition for that is, I guess that's what we are.

So. For us, we love. For us, love has not impaired what we have and what we want. For me, now that I've experienced what it is to be loved, I would choose nothing less than that for myself. I was quite happy being alone. Alone is better for me than a loveless relationship.

That's how things work for me. I understand others can be quite satisfied/happy/connected/fulfilled/insert great feeling of delight here, in a relationship that does not contain love (or love how I view it). Who am I to say what may or may not work for other relationships? Who is anyone?

So there's my 2 bucks worth.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 141

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? - 3/1/2014 9:14:20 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
So far he hasn't (or so I've noticed) allowed his love for me to stop him from getting exactly what he wants from me. As for D/s, M/s, O/p, XYZ. LMNOP...we're some combo of that - I don't spend a lot of energy defining it. He leads us. I do what he says. We love each other. We're stupidly happy. So, whatever the definition for that is, I guess that's what we are.

Can i just say how much I love that description.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Profile

Post #: 142

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? - 3/1/2014 2:29:02 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I think in some relationships love is important and essential, in others they don't want it, there are plenty of relationships where love doesn't factor that much, some people actually do have the kink that they want to be with somebody who doesn't love them but only sees them as an object, it's what makes them tick, floats their boat, hey, if it works for them, who are we to judge?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to JeffBC)

Profile

Post #: 143

RE: Is Love part of the D/s life style? - 3/2/2014 11:32:57 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
So far he hasn't (or so I've noticed) allowed his love for me to stop him from getting exactly what he wants from me. As for D/s, M/s, O/p, XYZ. LMNOP...we're some combo of that - I don't spend a lot of energy defining it. He leads us. I do what he says. We love each other. We're stupidly happy. So, whatever the definition for that is, I guess that's what we are.

Can i just say how much I love that description.

Yes