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is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:15:39 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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wondering why i am unable to meet a sub here for anything more than an introduction....is it me?

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:18:40 AM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3315
Joined: 7/18/2012
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Your profile tells nothing about you. Why would anyone want to connect with you? You are blank.
The only thing your profile DOES say is that you must be discreet in meeting. This is jargon here for married. If women know or think you are married, they are likely to ignore you.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:18:55 AM

angelikaJ

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According to your profile, you have been here all of 3 days.

Develop patience.

I have found that having realistic expectations is usually a lot less frustrating.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:18:56 AM

hlen5

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It might be your profile. The word discreet implies you're married.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:19:57 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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Well, it could be, but there's no real way for us to tell. There's a million reasons why things might not be clicking, from your behaviour to their expectations to good old fashioned chemistry.

So you are meeting people? If you are getting to the point of a face-to-face meet up with multiple women you are actually doing pretty well on here, since men outnumber women quite dramatically. After that, it's just a case of dating and seeing if you're compatible. Think of it this way - of all the women you've met in your life, how many would have suited you as a partner? Same applies in the kink world. And since you are looking for a sub she needs to feel even safer than a regular date, since she's going to be trusting you to make decisions for her and/or hurt her.

Can you tell us a bit more? Have the meet ups been disastrous or just no spark?

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:20:11 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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I do not know you aside from your profile. So I'll go from that.

It sounds like you;re a married man looking for clandestine play sessions and sex, nothing more. If that's not true, you need to change your profile. If it is true, it's that you're offering nothing special.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 8:37:12 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
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Yes, it does come across that you are married yet I won't know until you say so.

What does bother me is you live for Christianity. That means, for me, I'm going to hold you at a higher moral standard. And cheating on your wife would make it hipocrisy. That's just my POV.

But when you post in a public forum, you are leaving yourself wide open for this type of scrutiny.

So to answer your question, yes, it could be you.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:03:32 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
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Thank you for the input. I am NOT married. i will flesh out my profile too. Thanks

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:04:46 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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Thank you for the input.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

According to your profile, you have been here all of 3 days.

Develop patience.

I have found that having realistic expectations is usually a lot less frustrating.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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Post #: 9

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:05:56 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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That word.. discreet irritates me. It implies that the majority of us out here would be waving the kink flag high and flashing our nethers to all and sundry. Either that or someone is married and wanting a piece on the side. Neither of those scenario's makes me want to meet them.

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Post #: 10

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:07:39 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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Thanks to those of you who replied. I value constructive input and am not above making changes!! i will give my profile some thought as to the specifice you each pointed out. i asked, you answered with what felt as my best interest in mind.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:28:38 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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I agree you should re-think your profile and tell about yourself in a non-kink way.

As for living for Christianity, no it doesn't suit me in the least, but that doesn't mean you can't find someone who it does suit. Akron is still in the Bible Belt.

Here's a blog post about kink and Christianity you may find useful:

http://ravenstonesreflections.blogspot.com/2010/01/for-all-kinky-christians-out-there.html

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Post #: 12

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:32:25 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
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OK..have redone my profile. Am awaiting input on the second iteration.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:45:06 AM

nogardthe4

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/19/2004
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The comments posted here so far,
tend to make me wonder at what in the world
that others might be, or in fact are...
inferring from MY profile!

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Post #: 14

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:49:23 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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Dont ask if you dont want to know!...lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: nogardthe4

The comments posted here so far,
tend to make me wonder at what in the world
that others might be, or in fact are...
inferring from MY profile!

(in reply to nogardthe4)

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Post #: 15

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 9:52:03 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quietandintense - that's a good start, but your profile still needs a lot more meat to allow a woman to get a sense of who you are as a man.

- So you enjoy a good conversation...about what? Politics? Music? Art?
- What are your hobbies?
- Etc.

Also see http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm

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Post #: 16

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 10:00:40 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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Thank you

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quietandintense - that's a good start, but your profile still needs a lot more meat to allow a woman to get a sense of who you are as a man.

- So you enjoy a good conversation...about what? Politics? Music? Art?
- What are your hobbies?
- Etc.

Also see http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm

(in reply to kalikshama)

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Post #: 17

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 10:01:19 AM

Domnotlooking

Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
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Discrete is still on the profile as of 12:52 PM.

Why would you have to be discrete to on a date? Is your hesitancy to be seen out in public with a person in possession of a vagina christian-related? The christian part has been deleted.

But having dommy sex in a bible belt shithole (I live in one) is like shooting fish in a barrel. Just don't call it kink. Say you want to be the head of the household, blah, blah, blah. If you want real full on kink AND want to serve your personal lord and saviour in the same leaden way I see all around me, I'll bet your partner pool is shallow indeed. Def. be willing to compromise on weight, looks, distance and, well, everything.

And:

Maybe participate in the forums a bit. It will help you clarify your dom-thing, give prospective partners a chance to suss you out, and separate you from the hordes of desperate wallflowers with likewise non-profiles.

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RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 10:01:54 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quietandintense - that's a good start, but your profile still needs a lot more meat to allow a woman to get a sense of who you are as a man.

- So you enjoy a good conversation...about what? Politics? Music? Art?
- What are your hobbies?
- Etc.

Also see http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm

I did add more a few minutes later...did that help?

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Post #: 19

RE: is it me? - 2/17/2014 10:04:51 AM

quietandintense

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/14/2014
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jeeeez..i just looked and none of the changes i made are in the text....grrrrrr...

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Post #: 20