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RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/22/2014 10:56:44 PM

Diore

Posts: 10
Joined: 3/11/2011
Status: offline

Just curious, but is it the general nature of the forums to find so many cynical, hate filled responses to posts? Goodness gracious--it's a fellow member of your species and some people seem ready to release the hounds because of formatting?

I don't know. I've just found it disappointing how the vultures circle the carcases on here, and most of them seem to spend a lot of time blowing their fire towards others.

(in reply to SWDesertDom)

Post #: 21

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/22/2014 11:53:13 PM

epiphiny43

Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

Hate? Cynical? Where?? What I saw were candid responses to contradictory wants and rather gentle impatience with anyone showing up and venting that they weren't handed their fantasy the first day or Any short time period. That plays poorly here, and most other forums for adults.
And disappointed in Alt? Been gone a Long time? It's not just the ladies that have changed.

(in reply to Diore)

Post #: 22

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 12:18:53 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Diore

Just curious, but is it the general nature of the forums to find so many cynical, hate filled responses to posts? Goodness gracious--it's a fellow member of your species and some people seem ready to release the hounds because of formatting?

I don't know. I've just found it disappointing how the vultures circle the carcases on here, and most of them seem to spend a lot of time blowing their fire towards others.

No hate, you need to care about someone to hate them.

Nope, some people just give blunt replies to hypocritical posts.

You can sugarcoat yours if you like.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/23/2014 12:20:52 AM >

(in reply to Diore)

Post #: 23

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 3:15:45 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oneoldvet

thanks to all who have read my diatraibe and my short stories maybe im cynical and yes maybe i need to be more patient and i really do not expect to find a sub in a day or a month but i would love to chat with some who know what the lifestyle is all about. as i said at the end of my diatribe, a real sub sitting behind me on my scooter who makes my soul sing is what i am looking for

Perhaps when you begin attending munches you will find those who know what the lifestyle is all about.

Personally, I don't much worry about being a "real" sub.
You see, I am happily owned and have been for nearly 5 years.
I figure if I am real enough for [my] Master, that is plenty good enough for me.

What may not be real enough for you, could be perfect for someone else.
And a funny thing about some of us on the "s" side of the kneel?
We are sometimes quite trainable.
So the idea of finding a diamond in the rough could be very appealing to some "D" types.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to oneoldvet)

Post #: 24

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 5:10:04 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

FR

OP, seriously, sounds like you are looking for instant gratification.

OK, I'm certainly not your target audience, but reading it (please, line breaks would make it much easier) and how things "used to be" and then "they're not the same anymore and I don't like it", it just doesn't do it for most women, the 2 submissives you used to have and "one just for sexual use the other for domestic and physical use", I just cringe a bit. I'm not trying to be rude but I'm not good at sugar coating, I automatically had the image of a middle aged guy, talking about what a stud he was in his youth in my head. Again, doesn't work.

Then you wax on about your Harley, great if you're into bikes, I like motorbikes too, but choppers always seemed to be rocking chairs, Easy Rider is the generation of my parents, so there is a disconnect.

So you talked to a bunch of scammers, seriously, you've lived some, didn't you see red flags straight away?

Then your idea of BDSM is TPE, well, it might not be the same for everybody, your mileage might vary A LOT.

You're in your 60's, you have ideas how it should be, seems like you want to revisit your youth, nothing wrong with that, but expecting that you walz in, say "I'm a D-type, this is what I want, now please hand it to me", just doesn't work. BDSM relationships are still relationships, both people have to get something out of it, need their needs met, or else it isn't going to last and not every woman is going to go gaga about being offered to ride on the back of a chopper.

I'm really not having a pop at you, it's just how *I* read your rant, as a woman, think of it like you're putting an ad out where you are trying to fill a very important job, you're a writer, you have to think about your target audience.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 25

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 5:22:56 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

People want different things, they don't come as a one size fits all. It would behoove you to put some time and effort into looking for a match since it seems to be important to you, rather than start looking, see things you don't agree with and then throw up your hands and complain about it. That shows a serious attitude of entitlement. Especially since you're complaining after trying for all of one day.

Perhaps entitlement is a pattern with you since you began your retirement riding your motorcycle instead of being with the people who were sharing your life. If I were even considering you a tiny bit, the fact that you let 2 relationships languish to the point that they had to tell you it was over, would make me shut the door on anything to do with you faster than your picture.

You call yourself old, short, and fat and wish to meet arm candy…a beautiful woman to make your ego soar. Do you see anything at odds here? How about looking for old, short, fat women? Your chances might be a smidge better?

If you believe that the lifestyle is based on a power exchange and you wish to chat with someone "who knows what the lifestyle is all about" (meaning someone who has the same views as you) then what would age/looks/orientation/pictures have to do with that goal? Why would a woman need to be eye candy in order to chat with you? If your first priority is finding someone who views a power exchange the same as you do, then her looks should be secondary.

Dude, no one knows you here, you're a stranger. People don't generally care about the desires of a stranger, if you want something, you have to put in the work to find someone compatible, and then get them to care about you enough that they want to fulfill your needs and boost your ego. No one here really cares from their heart if your future here is up for grabs since you haven't found what you want after 1 day, because we don't have anything invested in you. Hopefully you'll find that person to invest in you and you will understand that it needs to be equal effort on both sides in order to keep a relationship and have a woman on the back of your bike.

(in reply to oneoldvet)

Post #: 26

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 5:43:56 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Thirty years ago, I had no idea what BDSM was, and thought there was something wrong with me for secretly wanting to seek out a kinky sex adventures, which is how I thought of them then.

What I've learned in the past ten years is that everything in life changes and evolves and sometimes comes back around again. Internet-based BDSM is way different than established BDSM clubs where membership is limited and members are screened, or at least referred by someone already in the club. And there are probably membership dues, and someone in charge of the meetings where wankers and those not playing by the rules can be bounced out the door and refused entry in the future.

Power exchange still exists, but just because this is a BDSM-based website doesn't mean there are 'little subbies' sitting on shelves, just waiting for someone, anyone, to come pluck them off the shelf for service just because someone calls himself a dom. It ain't like that anymore, if it ever was. Respect isn't an entitlement just because you call yourself a dom or a master. In this day and age, you have to earn the respect, and it's not that hard. Just be respectable. If you're looking for the Old Guard or Gorean type groups and philosophies, I'm sure they're out there, but you'll have to look for them, and they're really not all that popular in this site.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 27

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 6:01:58 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Diore
Just curious, but is it the general nature of the forums to find so many cynical, hate filled responses to posts? Goodness gracious--it's a fellow member of your species and some people seem ready to release the hounds because of formatting?

I don't know. I've just found it disappointing how the vultures circle the carcases on here, and most of them seem to spend a lot of time blowing their fire towards others.

I told him about his formatting so he would be able to improve his odds at getting a date. I believe everyone, even short fat and old veterans, deserve a chance at love. Often, men are their own worst enemy when it comes to meeting women online. So I provided a simple step he could take that would significantly improve his chances.

What practical, useful thing did you provide the OP? I didn't see it. "You're beautiful just the way you are," is damaging advice, not helpful advice. He is not going to get emails from anyone except scammers unless he changes how he presents himself. So you are encouraging him to lose money, not to find a real live woman.

I post in order to help people. I don't care whether they like me; I'm not trying to be friends with them. Your own posting motivation seems to be different. You aren't being helpful, but your time on this board has allowed you to feel superior to others. So congratulations, I suppose. At least you got something out of it.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Diore)

Post #: 28

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 6:18:44 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Diore
Just curious, but is it the general nature of the forums to find so many cynical, hate filled responses to posts? Goodness gracious--it's a fellow member of your species and some people seem ready to release the hounds because of formatting?

I don't know. I've just found it disappointing how the vultures circle the carcases on here, and most of them seem to spend a lot of time blowing their fire towards others.

I told him about his formatting so he would be able to improve his odds at getting a date. I believe everyone, even short fat and old veterans, deserve a chance at love. Often, men are their own worst enemy when it comes to meeting women online. So I provided a simple step he could take that would significantly improve his chances.

What practical, useful thing did you provide the OP? I didn't see it. "You're beautiful just the way you are," is damaging advice, not helpful advice. He is not going to get emails from anyone except scammers unless he changes how he presents himself. So you are encouraging him to lose money, not to find a real live woman.

I post in order to help people. I don't care whether they like me; I'm not trying to be friends with them. Your own posting motivation seems to be different. You aren't being helpful, but your time on this board has allowed you to feel superior to others. So congratulations, I suppose. At least you got something out of it.

I noticed that, too, Red.....March of 2011, interesting time frame on the boards here, and interesting choice of words. He does seem to have a different motivation, doesn't he?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 29

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 6:30:33 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Honestly OP, you should take what some have said on here as perhaps responses that will help you see things from a difference of perspective. If people are this vehement to your overall disposition, demands and the content of your profile perhaps you are not giving off the intended "vibe" to attract your particular type. I understand Diore's sentiments and well, it's a site filled with sadists and alphas, there are going to be a bit of venom thrown around, especially if as many said there is an air of self entitlement (the search isn't very easy for even us ladies if you want something of substance and not just someone trying to paypal you money for cam time).
Jlf1961 (sorry for mentioning you in this one) is an older gent, but one I have (subtley) and playfully thrown a compliment or two just because of his wit, his sweet nature and relentless satirical and light hearted responses. I like the way he is able to make jest in things that others may find "annoying" and I honestly think he's a GREAT catch for any female, if I was submissive I might give him a shout (though my liberal ways might drive him batty). I do like him, A LOT. (wink wink at jlf) LOL.
I think it all boils down to substance. If you want someone of substance you have got to project yourself authentically and if you do have redeemable qualities as Diore pointed out ,you will attract the women who are best suited for you but you have to HIGHLIGHT those. Also put yourself out there, be PROACTIVE. We ALL have to put effort into our search, it doesn't just fall on your lap. Especially if you are seeking a D/s relationship vs play partners. It has NOTHING to do with weight, height or age, but about compatibility. I know some posters might have seemed a bit harsh but you can look at it in a different light. "Hmm...am I really coming off as self entitled, demanding and unrealistic?"
Don't be afraid to venture forth and take reasonable risks, for a woman, it can be that much MORE of a risk at times, but some of us take them because the reward may outweigh the risks.
At the same time, be true to yourself, honesty is the best policy and the truth will ALWAYS come to light ergo my point about being authentic.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 2/23/2014 6:31:18 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 30

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 6:57:27 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

As I browsed through the pictures, I saw women laying prone all gapped open. Now, I thought it was the power exchange that is what the submissive wanted but I suppose it is a meat market now. Here look at me I'm a slut.

We all know, the penis does not have sight, so it doesn’t matter to the penis what a pudendum looks like, nor does it care, we care what it feels like and the pleasure it transmits to the brain, nor do the hands have some mystical vision to see the breasts they are fondling. So why do they do it?

The most likely answer is that these are not women looking for a relationship, but:

1. women looking for money, or
2. men pretending to be women so they can get money from other men who are thinking with their little head instead of their big one

If these profiles also included a Yahoo IMs, that's another scammer red flag.

(in reply to oneoldvet)

Post #: 31

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 7:19:50 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

As I browsed through the pictures, I saw women laying prone all gapped open. Now, I thought it was the power exchange that is what the submissive wanted but I suppose it is a meat market now. Here look at me I'm a slut.

We all know, the penis does not have sight, so it doesn’t matter to the penis what a pudendum looks like, nor does it care, we care what it feels like and the pleasure it transmits to the brain, nor do the hands have some mystical vision to see the breasts they are fondling. So why do they do it?

The most likely answer is that these are not women looking for a relationship, but:

1. women looking for money, or
2. men pretending to be women so they can get money from other men who are thinking with their little head instead of their big one

If these profiles also included a Yahoo IMs, that's another scammer red flag.

What kalikshama said about people looking for money/men pretending to be women is true, but even if a woman did want to show her vagina on the internet, why the hell not? You don't like it - great! Then you know at a glance this person isn't compatible. But they might be looking for a quick shag or just a thrill from exhibitionism, and it's no less valid that your desire for TPE. Different strokes...

The hands and penises might not have eyes, but surely you know that lots of guys like to look at nudie women on the internet? Could be those photos are attracting just the type of attention they are seeking.

Collarme calls itself a 'BDSM community' not a D/s community. Not everyone is in to power exchange. Unfortunately you can't pick a 'bottom' label, so some of those folks just looking for kink and/or sex without power exchange will also come up in your search for submissives.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 32

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 7:53:02 AM

TenderTorment

Posts: 304
Joined: 12/30/2012
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Hello to the Op,

Thought I'd weigh my tuppence worth in here.

Firstly you have been here all of 2 days, so obvious impatience aside I would say a lot of the mail you have received from the scammers or fakes or whatever you want to call them is simply new meat syndrome, the ladies usually get the brunt of this when joining and are inundated with messages from the usual fly by nighters simply because they are new, this also counts in the opposite direction, right now you are showing up as a new member and therefore fair game for them. This will eventually tail off over a few weeks.

Secondly, back to the obvious impatience, not a good character trait in any form but to then compound it with this message also shows a lack of self control in dealing with your own emotions when things are not quite going your way, again, something many would list as an undesirable character aspect, however one that can, and should be worked on.

Finally, treat this site as you would any social interaction, you wouldn't walk into a cocktail party and expect to find your one within 5 minutes and leave by the end of the night with a collar in place walking off to the sunset, it takes time to build friendships and even longer to build relationships, especially ones of significance that will endure the test of time.

Having said that, welcome and have fun :-)

(in reply to oneoldvet)

Post #: 33

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 10:06:46 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

1) You sound like my Dad when he talks about the "good ole days".

2) Judging from your encounters with scammers, I'm guessing you're hitting on the profiles that say they're 20 years old and have an impossibly hot photo. Use your head and you won't have to deal with scammers.

3) This was just pitiful:

quote:

ORIGINAL: oneoldvet

Maybe I just need to start going to the bars and find some drunk or addict those are easy slaves, you feed them their addiction and they do whatever you want as long as they are conscious.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TenderTorment)

Post #: 34

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 12:03:18 PM

oneoldvet

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2014
Status: offline

Ok, Ok, i get the nessage,

And from now one when i write or type a diatribe i will at least seperate my paragraphs and indent the proper amount of spaces

On another note i have taken the time or spent a few minutes retyping my profile intro.

an i sure thank you for your help in these matters and may i hope that in the future you will be just as eager to help.

Again thanks theoldvet

(in reply to SWDesertDom)

Post #: 35

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 12:54:36 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I would recommend line breaks in the profile too

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to oneoldvet)

Post #: 36

RE: theoldvet and I have to vent: - 2/23/2014 2:03:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Many of us who are in long term d/s relationships do know what the lifestyle is "really" about. And we don't believe that the definition includes trolling for women young enough to be your granddaughter just so you can impress your biker buddies. Nor do we believe it includes abandoning people you made a commitment to.

I see nothing wrong in explaining to the op why he isn't getting what he claims to want. Because he claims to want just arm candy to whom he isn't going to make nor keep a commitment to judging by his past, and that isn't what most of us feel is part of a d/s relationship.

Would you agree to take a job where you had to give them a year's notice but they didn't need to give you any? Same here.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 2/23/2014 2:05:54 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 37

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