quote:

ORIGINAL: Dwn2EarthDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

For the first year after my first diagnosis, I refused to let anyone join my party. I was going to a party that wouldn't be any fun and I didn't want anyone else to have to go through it. I still go through times when I don't think it is fair to ask someone to love me when I could die or go down, leaving them hurt and alone. It was a struggle, because at the very time you need support, you are denying yourself as well as anyone that does make the choice to love you anyway.

I can see it being real easy to send mixed messages to someone with all that going on. I also know the Knights that wished to take care of me... many that I pushed away. In fact, I wrote one of my poem-songs about it for one special guy.

Part of it is: My heart's not for love'n, its just keeping me alive, till my heart's reflection has eased my weary mind. Another time, another place, my heart would gladly take you in, give you loves wonder to dwell in and keep you safely tucked within, but babe I'm in a sorrowful state, my heart has no love to give. Don't put hope in me babe, don't dream about my love. I'm not the one for you.

As a parent and a partner, I would try to protect everyone. My children would need someone, so would my partner. I would try to make arrangements for others in their lives, to pick up somehow where I left off. Others that would be known to them, that already had a bond, so they wouldn't be so lost. A man or woman that was a close family friend or another dominant that could assist. I was always preparing to leave, in some way.

It can be a very confusing time and I can understand the feeling of her being skittish for more than the reason of being hurt by someone else. That can play into it too. It just may mean concentrating on too many overwhelming things and you simply need to only focus on a few. A stand by you friend, would be most welcome, but more, may be too much. She doesn't need pressure and even knowing you love her and she can't respond can be a mighty big pressure. Thus the writing of my poem-song.

Good luck to the both of you!

Thanks Rawni. I appreciate the words. Good news is her final pathology report came back all clear, so after the healing up of the radical hystorectomy, she will be fine... No chemo or radiation at all. So in another 3 weeks she will return to work with a clean bill of health. I have been her "stand by friend"... I have been faithful to her. I see her honestly starting to turn in my favor...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dwn2EarthDom

For those that think that a Dominant male cannot have a tender side, I do not get your logic here. This switch was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and I agreed to stand with her thru this... Now if holding up that word, helping her move around, drive her around town when she needs to get things in town but cannot do it herself, standing TRUE to your word is more of a Dominant act than just about anything I can think of. To those of you that think I am a sub, I would HIGHLY suggest you check your definition of what a true Dom is...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dwn2EarthDom

For those that think that a Dominant male cannot have a tender side, I do not get your logic here. This switch was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and I agreed to stand with her thru this... Now if holding up that word, helping her move around, drive her around town when she needs to get things in town but cannot do it herself, standing TRUE to your word is more of a Dominant act than just about anything I can think of. To those of you that think I am a sub, I would HIGHLY suggest you check your definition of what a true Dom is...

quote:

I will still be in love with her. Her emotions does not change mine. I have OPENLY told her that I am in love with her... and while she smiles, will touch me, she will not kiss me. She will hug me, I have even seen her completely nude, I mean the ONLY thing I have not done is to kiss this woman... which drives me insane btw. So the question is... HOW long is long enough to be wise, but not stupid about the waiting AND is my steadfastness the right thing as a " Dom" to do or am I just being stubborn not wanting to give up on someone I am in love with?