StrongSpirit -> RE: Why are sub men so "easy"? (4/15/2014 7:07:58 PM)
|
quote:
A lot of people have said supply and demand or the numbers issue is a reason. Still, is that enough reason a man would be so desperate in his approach? Or, does that say that sub men are willing to "settle" readily and therefore cut corners on their selection process out of sheer desperation? That would be horrible. Yes it is. Particularly for submissive men. Most women like confident men but submissive + confident can be difficult. The men either are not confident or attempt to prove confidence by confidently being submissive. quote:
Others have said porn. Yes, to some degree, it's bad learning. But a lot of men still know better and have read, seen, heard, been told and still present themselves as a caricature of submission, or think that blatant acts of submission (over doing it in their posturing, demeanor) will turn femdom heads (toward them, not away with eyes rolling). And in most cases it's just not true. I think the porn comes from submissive fantasies, not the other way around. quote:
Femdoms state again and again -- they want a relationship first, the dynamic second - and even those that are into play only or topping/bottoming still seek connection before dynamic. I think a problem is that some sub men get genuine pleasure in their posturing process even though it does not work. It's still gratifying to them on some level to present themselves as meek and available and ready to go - even if it fails. Or, in their mind, the woman they seek WOULD want that. So many people say it's a numbers game, but in reality men that posture so meekly or are "ready to give it up" are alienating more women than they are attracting. Just because the femdoms are 'dominant' does not mean they get what they want. In many ways, sub is in charge BECAUSE he submits. What, you think you get what you want all the time simply because you are dominant? Those men have just as much right to the kind of sex life they want as you do to have what you want. quote:
The women they do attract are probably predators -- in a sense of pros seeking clients, or manipulators seeking someone to use. I don't mean "predator" in a totally horrifically negative way - I should say "opportunists" - the women that know what these men want because they advertise it so blatantly. I hate to use a bad "virginity" example again, but I think subs that "give it up" so easily end up not keeping the interest of the women that DO take them up on it - because these women want what they want and the men are disposable, because there's another guy eager to "give it up" too. True. Also true of around half of vanilla women. and everyone else in the world as well. At least half the people in the dating scene are looking for disposable partners to abuse. Moreover, looking for a long term relationship is not a guaranteed way to get out of this problem. Some vanilla women look for a sugar daddy. Some men look for a trophy wife to dump when she turns 40. quote:
Sub men I think would do much better if they protected their willingness to submit and made it a mysterious onion to be peeled - and only for a woman that meant something to him. Akasha This advice does not look realistic or helpful to me. If I were to give advice to people I would not talk about their kink at all. Instead, I would give suggest that they change what their initial rejection criteria. Specifically, the best advice I have ever given is "Don't look for a date you like, look for a date whose faults you can live with." This advice works for three reasons. First it makes it easier to ignore lies and secondly, it helps you be less superficial by not focusing on things like a good body. Thirdly it often gets rid of big problems before they become big.
|
|
|
|