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24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 11:06:54 AM

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/10/2006
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This slave girl finds it to be really hard to find persons who seek 24/7. It bothers her because she has experienced the joy and beauty of fully submitting to a Dominant. However, she was crushed to find that the person could not hold up their end of the bargain of fully taking on the responsibility. she would be directed to call to get out of bed in the morning but He would not answer the phone. So her already early day was ruined with disappointment by 5:20 AM. It took a lot for her to admit that she wanted to ask permission to do every little thing and she wanted her Dominants direction on how to handle harsh or difficult situations. Considering nowadays a woman is taught she can think and do for herself. It hurts. Why do Dominants play these games when a subordinate is being sincere and vulnerable? Can't They see it or feel it? Do They even care? It seems for so many this is a bedroom thing but to some this is really who we are and we keep getting our feeling thrashed. It is hard to be a devoted loyal trusting slave when you keep getting misused and taken advantage of by people. This slave girl tries to be open and vulnerable so that when she does find her Dominant one day she will be open and willing to try with Them but it's hard not accumulating baggage.

Does anyone have advice as to how to spot a more sincere Dominant and where are good places to look? Or should this slave girl not look at all. That's where she is at now. It's just there are times when she wants to be controlled but by someone who cares for and respects her. she wants to loved and cared for and she wants to serve and obey. she lives to serve and it kills her that she is unable to find a suitable mate to do so for. Please help.

Sincerely,
tracie

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 11:10:03 AM

Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

Just have to keep looking darling, they're out there. Have to pull a lot of weeds before you can have a great garden.

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 11:21:50 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

It seems to me that the problem is that you are hoping to find someone to micromanage you, if someone says this and doesn't mean it then they aren't the one for you. Not all 24-7 people are in to micromanagement, but some are. Your needs have to be spelled out honestly if you are ever to have them filled. If the master you are currently with isn't into micromanagement, then that is going to be a problem because it is very time consuming. If he isn't into it and is doing this for you, then who is the slave and who is the master? You are controlling his day in an endeavor that doesn't do a thing for him. He has to think about what is going on with you and what you need no matter what. If it fulfills both to do this, then great! But if it doesn't it probably will not work.

Just because a dominant isn't into this doesn't make them insincere, it is only professing to want to micromanage you and then not considering you that makes it insincere.

If in the future you find yourself looking again for someone to micromanage you, I would spell out how necessary it was to your sense of submission to engage in it. I would make sure they either had experience with it, or were willing to try it on for size to see if they could do it.

Good luck devoted

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 2:09:35 PM

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Greetings tracie,

You are in the same boat as with many other subs and slaves. You are in the same boat as many Doms and Dommes and Masters. This is a simple fact of life. You cannot just paint your desire of life like a paint brush across the whole BDSM arena. I mean how many Doms did you communicate with before you picked this one to take you down the road of a 24/7? Could a Domme helped you more than so a male? Did you actually write down points of any pros or cons with the 24/7 lifestyle? Just because you are a sub, this does not mean that you can't ask questions of any Doms or Masters. You should have questions written down, and true thoughtful Masters and Doms and Dommes should be able and very willing to answer any or all your questions that you wish to ask.

The bottom line is communication. Without that, your first prevailance into the 24/7 type of life that you seek, would be a failure, unless you become a fluke....grins and smiles. Take your time, enjoy the life of what BDSM gives you as a 24/7 person. Let the life embrace you, and just bloom like a flower.

Be well and take care.

Master Frank Ar.

< Message edited by FrankAr -- 7/11/2006 2:10:14 PM >

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 2:27:41 PM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: devotednhappy

This slave girl finds it to be really hard to find persons who seek 24/7. It bothers her because she has experienced the joy and beauty of fully submitting to a Dominant. However, she was crushed to find that the person could not hold up their end of the bargain of fully taking on the responsibility. she would be directed to call to get out of bed in the morning but He would not answer the phone. So her already early day was ruined with disappointment by 5:20 AM. It took a lot for her to admit that she wanted to ask permission to do every little thing and she wanted her Dominants direction on how to handle harsh or difficult situations. Considering nowadays a woman is taught she can think and do for herself. It hurts. Why do Dominants play these games when a subordinate is being sincere and vulnerable? Can't They see it or feel it? Do They even care? It seems for so many this is a bedroom thing but to some this is really who we are and we keep getting our feeling thrashed. It is hard to be a devoted loyal trusting slave when you keep getting misused and taken advantage of by people. This slave girl tries to be open and vulnerable so that when she does find her Dominant one day she will be open and willing to try with Them but it's hard not accumulating baggage.

Does anyone have advice as to how to spot a more sincere Dominant and where are good places to look? Or should this slave girl not look at all. That's where she is at now. It's just there are times when she wants to be controlled but by someone who cares for and respects her. she wants to loved and cared for and she wants to serve and obey. she lives to serve and it kills her that she is unable to find a suitable mate to do so for. Please help.

Sincerely,
tracie

Shakes his head.

You want a Master to submit to you.

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 4:13:13 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

Not enough info here, so i have two questions..

In the phone example above, you've said you've been "unable to find a suitable mate".. so we can infer this guy is NOT your Master? If he's not, then why are you giving wakeup calls and expecting daily management?

If that is incorrect, and He is your Master, then why are you questioning His authority in how to manage you? It would seem in either case, you're not getting the kind of M/s relationship you desire.

i'm not asking to berate you, but to offer some possible helpful ideas.. If you think you're able to hop right into a 24/7 slave position, that's cool, a lot of us couldn't. For most, a "sliding in" period takes a while to get to know the Dominants' mindest and what He will eventually re-create you to be.

An exception to that would be the Gorean ways, where the basic precepts of Master/slave are pretty much defined already, so those who practice it are agreed up front and can jump in with both feet and progress from there.

(i'm not saying that all Gorean Masters are interchangable, or that all kajirra come identically equipped, but at least they have a starting place that lays the groundwork, which is different from BDSM M/s where each Masters will and direction is different from the next Master or Mistress.)

< Message edited by Mavis -- 7/11/2006 4:15:45 PM >

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 5:19:35 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Revamping your profile needs.

quote:

Not seeking a Dominant!

submissives and slaves and switches approach only!!!

Attractive to Dominants especially Masters the above opening is not! Your aims of Master type and expectations there should be. Time it takes to find good people interested in what seek you it takes.. Patient be and in the Forums be known...

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Mavis)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 5:34:55 PM

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I agreed with your post when I first read it, IronBear....but then I read all the way down her profile and it appears to me that she's simply looking for "friends" in here, to email with, to talk about issues, but she's taken her search for a Master out of here and into real life....which isn't such a bad thing! :)

Though if the Dom of her dreams does happen to be in here, she's in a little trouble, lol.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 6:36:18 PM

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Revamping your profile needs.

quote:

Not seeking a Dominant!

submissives and slaves and switches approach only!!!

Attractive to Dominants especially Masters the above opening is not! Your aims of Master type and expectations there should be. Time it takes to find good people interested in what seek you it takes.. Patient be and in the Forums be known...

*pulls out my blue crayon and changes IronBears name to* IRON_YODA grins . that was a great response and I laughed my ass off

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 7:45:47 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I agreed with your post when I first read it, IronBear....but then I read all the way down her profile and it appears to me that she's simply looking for "friends" in here, to email with, to talk about issues, but she's taken her search for a Master out of here and into real life....which isn't such a bad thing! :)

Though if the Dom of her dreams does happen to be in here, she's in a little trouble, lol.

Analysis of her whole profile based mine was lass. Final comment of yours in agreement find you me and was the basis of original post did I..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

*pulls out my blue crayon and changes IronBears name to* IRON_YODA grins . that was a great response and I laughed my ass off

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to windchymes)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/11/2006 9:08:36 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: devotednhappy

This slave girl finds it to be really hard to find persons who seek 24/7. It bothers her because she has experienced the joy and beauty of fully submitting to a Dominant. However, she was crushed to find that the person could not hold up their end of the bargain of fully taking on the responsibility. she would be directed to call to get out of bed in the morning but He would not answer the phone. So her already early day was ruined with disappointment by 5:20 AM. It took a lot for her to admit that she wanted to ask permission to do every little thing and she wanted her Dominants direction on how to handle harsh or difficult situations. Considering nowadays a woman is taught she can think and do for herself. It hurts. Why do Dominants play these games when a subordinate is being sincere and vulnerable? Can't They see it or feel it? Do They even care? It seems for so many this is a bedroom thing but to some this is really who we are and we keep getting our feeling thrashed. It is hard to be a devoted loyal trusting slave when you keep getting misused and taken advantage of by people. This slave girl tries to be open and vulnerable so that when she does find her Dominant one day she will be open and willing to try with Them but it's hard not accumulating baggage.

Does anyone have advice as to how to spot a more sincere Dominant and where are good places to look? Or should this slave girl not look at all. That's where she is at now. It's just there are times when she wants to be controlled but by someone who cares for and respects her. she wants to loved and cared for and she wants to serve and obey. she lives to serve and it kills her that she is unable to find a suitable mate to do so for. Please help.

Sincerely,
tracie

Hello tracie,

I hope you find the one you seek. It sounds like you want the sort of relationship my first submissive wanted from me. There are Dominants out there who get off on this sort of thing. I dont happen to be one of them.

I am reading this post and thinking "gee, I have all these things going on in my life that require my (search for posts by me discussing Al Qaeda or Volcano Lair) attention, and this person wants me to remember to tell her when to urinate." It is not my kink. It would almost make me wonder who was the Dominant the relationship.

But as usual, that is just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 7/11/2006 9:13:09 PM >

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 2:57:03 AM

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Ironyoda......gotta love it! Great comments!

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 6:48:12 AM

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Dear Frank,

This slave girl can see Your perspective.

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:03:39 AM

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

sincere = does it my way

I am very very insincere...

Oh, and if YOU keep choosing crappy dominants, then it is YOUR inability to choose a good partner that is the problem and the solution you are looking for is inside YOU!

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:07:14 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

So, apparently you ain't gonna hit on her, accordingly.........

LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:20:08 AM

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Dear juliaoceania,

Yes, this slave girl understands your perspective. She never cared much for the micromange stuff before, however, she does enjoy it. The idea of being under her Master's complete control is nice idea sometimes. One of the reasons why there are times this slave girl likes it is when she feels her emotions need to be confined (i.e. PMS, like yesterday). It focuses her and takes away confusion.

You mention communication in your response too. Often, this slave girl finds that Dominats have her write or speak but really don't hear or understand her and instead of asking for clarifying questions they just do whatever. Communication is very important to this slave girl. she maybe a little naive but she likes to hear her Master's voice as the first sound she hears in the morning and the last voice she hears at night and she likes for Him to give directives and help keep her focused upon the goals He has set for her. However, often it seems they just wanna play and fuck. Having no real mental control which comes from deep communication and understanding. It's like they do not know it can really exist.

All the Masters that have released this slave girl always try come back to her. They are not used to a slave that enjoys Them. A slave that takes pleasure in being in Their company even if it is just kneeling at Their feet. One that sees Their beauty. W/we all want that. However, many do not know how to receive it or view it. This slave girl only wants to serve and please them and the only way for this to happen is if They communicate Their thoughts and commands in an effective manner. And this slave girl is sorry to say but many lack communication skill. They don't have the time to talk to the slave. They don't have time to tell the slave what They really want or share Their opinions about life and news or whatever. They settle for the minimum. People use time as an excuse too for anything they can think up.

This slave girl once had a Master that spoke to her everyday for at least an half and hour. Either in one shot or in two 15 minutes periods. A person to whom You love and care for is worth 30 mins of Y/your day. Especially if the slave is like this slave girl who wonders how her Master is doing? Is He is okay? Are His needs met?

Outside of her son, Master, is this slave girl greatest joy. He is the center of her universe. He is the Sun. Like the French King, Louis the 18th, was called "The Sun King." So communication with Him is very important to her. And often she tells Dominants that but they play games and try things like. Only emails. Or they call at all times of night knowing this slave girl gets up 5:20 AM and they want to chat for 2 hours. No consideration. Oh, sorry. venting. Just broke up with a Master that did that.

Well, in agreement communication is very important. And this slave girl will keep in mind with her next Master or Mistress that she may need micromanaging when she senses her emotions are getting overwhelming. Or even better maybe They will teach this slave girl a way to control them herself.

Have a good day, Juilana!

Sincerely,
tracie

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:20:20 AM

Furr

Posts: 36
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Just remember, you have to kiss a lot of toads until you find a frog.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:21:38 AM

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Dear dana,

Thanks for the encouragement! It is grately apprecaited.

Sincerely,
tracie

(in reply to subedana)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:29:18 AM

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

Hmmm i love begging it is so humilating and as a slave its what i crave

, come across alot of phonies but im close to that real Master whom i will adore

,i wish i could have 24/7 but imy life doesnt allow it, boy i thinki had too much coffee this morning, lol, (subject jumping). thank u littleone5

(in reply to devotednhappy)

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/12/2006 7:33:13 AM

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Dear Mavis,

Thanks for the response. And this slave girl is not exactly a newbie and she is considered advanced as you can say. she is learning that she has to follow her Master's commands. However, 1 she is not a doormat and 2 if a Dominant gives a directive and continually does not allow the slave to fulfill it and yet she keeps doing it and then He complains that she is using up His minutes of His cell phone then don't that cause a little confustion?

As a parent of a child when i give a directive i expect it to be followed and i give my son the oppurtunity to fulfill it and if he can not i see why he could not and if my leadership had some part in it. Or maybe he did not want to do it and gave up. Either way. i make sure my end is covered and that Dominant in particular did not do that. It is discouraging to set a slave to constantly fail and He did that constantly in order to punish this slave girl and she does not like to constantly fail or displease her Master. she does not wish to be punished, ignored, or brushed off constantly and He lived for constant turmoil.

So, some like that beggginf for forgiveness every other day stuff. This lave girl wants to fulfill commands and wishes and make her Master happy by doing them. He may have fun with the punishing sometimes but all the time that is wearing for this slave.

However, this slave girl is learning that what Master says goes right or wrong. she has to let them lead. she sould not question His authority. However, she does has a right to watch and listen so He can earn the unquestioning trust.

Sincerely,
tracie

(in reply to Mavis)

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