kkaliforniaa
Posts: 263
Joined: 3/10/2007
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I'd like to address comments made, and then try to get the thread back on track..
I never said being drunk was an invitation to be raped, if you chose to read it that way, then that is on you. But no one forces [well not in most cases] you to drink so much that you can't remember where you parked your car, etc. It is your responsibility, not the bartenders, not the store clerks, etc, to make sure that you are capable of taking care of yourself. Also, why is a girl, or any person for that matter, getting so drunk that they can't remember that they have a test in two days? That is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, NOT victim blaming.. I guess college professors will now have to watch how they treat students, because if a student doesn't take a test because they missed class [because they were hung over], in the old days, that would have resulted in an F for the test. Now students will have to be given an opportunity to retake the test *shaking head*. What a shame.
I'm fairly certain the other thread was pulled because a warning was made not to discuss anything that violates the terms of service, but someone probably chose to push the boundaries, thus the thread was pulled. Normally, threads aren't pulled just because people are voicing their opinions, as you should be aware of. If you choose to take offense to any of the opinions voiced by people, then that is your right.. The forums are open to the public, and if people want to say something, so long as it doesn't violate the terms of service, then they should be allowed to. People also aren't forced in to visiting every thread, responding to every post either. You chose to view these threads, please remember that
If anyone feels that I have been trying to guilt people, that was not my intention, especially since I SPECIFICALLY stated that "YOU" was a GENERAL TERM, not targeted at anyone specific. If you chose to read it like I was blaming you specifically, once again, how people chose to interpret things is on them.. I did also say, "At that time, I had to do what was best for me and that was not to report it but get the psychological help I needed and the emotional support I needed", and that is always important too! so it seems like I'm being targeted because people chose to pick and choose pieces of an entire post! You can't do that. You have to take the whole thing, or nothing at all! You can't save the whole cake, AND eat it too, it's one or the other!
THANK YOU KITTEN!! A SURVIVOR!! That is how people should look at this! Why can't it be rapist versus SURVIVOR, rather than rapist versus victim!!
And the thing with police, shifty, do you really think they want criminals roaming free? Why did they become police officers if they were okay with letting criminals go free? Also, if you have a problem with the prison system, and the rehabilitation of convicts, then maybe you should try helping to fix the system, rather than complaining about how it doesn't work. Just saying
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The police interview may take as long as several hours, depending on the circumstances of your case. Some questions will probably feel intrusive, and the officer will probably go over the details of your attack several times. The extensive questioning isn't because the police don't believe you; it is the officer's job to get every detail down precisely, to make the strongest possible case against your rapist.
https://www.rainn.org/get-information/legal-information/reporting-rape
But if you think RAINN, and other crisis centers are full of *bleep*, then I don't know what else to say. I don't think they would be as successful in helping people as they have been [RAINN has been around for 20 years now!!]
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Umm, I don't think 1. people were tweeting or posting on Facebook WHILE they were having sex [since I don't know what actually happened, I remain impartial, and anything will be considered "sex", as rape is still sex] 2. if you're talking about the Steubenville case, those were teenagers who most probably didn't even realise that what they were doing was wrong, because they are so popular that people will lick their feet if told to! This goes back to [I think] my last post on the old thread, about how programs like D.A.R.E need to discuss what is consensual, what isn't, what it looks like when people are drunk, etc. It's all about education, because surprisingly, people still may not know that sex with a drunk person is a criminal offense!, even if both people say "yes" at the time
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The yes means yes law also applies in reverse, so if you're both too drunk to consent- you're both breaking it. 'Affirmative consent' means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. ... Lack of protest or resistance does not mean consent, nor does silence mean consent. (It) ... can be revoked at any time."
Let's see.. A person can be 1. affirmative 2. conscious 3. voluntarily agreeing to engage in sexual activity, all while being piss ass drunk. So "yes means yes" doesn't really fit. The only situation it works with is when people are actually PASSED out! And that goes back to educating people!.. I'd also like to go back to why "no means no". If someone doesn't want to have sex, "no" should be enough. If someone decides they don't like that response, and continues, that is force, thus, rape!
shifty, you actually make it seem like false accusations happen with less frequency than you think.. From what I posted on the old thread, it comes to about ONE false claim every hour, every year! I'd say that is a lot!.. Also, what is a reason people don't go to the police? If you were raped, go to the police. They don't have to believe you, but it is their job to get evidence, as difficult as it may be. And while you may not think there is evidence, unless you are an impartial police officer, equipped with all the gidgets and gadgets that they have, if there is evidence, they should be able to find it! Factor in, as Kitten mentioned, if the person has done this once, they may have done it other times. Last time I checked, a person's history is still considered to be evidence. Do you really think that people would have reported similar situations, with little to no evidence, if a crime hadn't been committed. While people may be petty, I don't think they are that petty
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shifty, my advice on getting over something, do just that. Don't keep living in the past. What does that accomplish? We all make mistakes, go through horrible things. Yes, talking about the experiences will help, but 5, 10, 20 years later, if you keep seeing yourself as a victim, that is what you will be. Essentially you are giving your rapist all the power.. .. Wow! That is insulting,
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I suppose we should tell all the soldiers to grow up too while were at it. I MEAN- they volunteered? They deserve that PTSD right?
First, not every soldier gets PTSD. The support they have from friends and family, etc, play a part in whether they develop it. Second, you are suggesting that these men and women are not grown up and need to!! I'm sorry, but seeing people you have been serving with, having their leg blown off, or having to shoot a kid because they are the enemy!! That is *BLEEP* up!! That is NOT easy to just get over, and "growing up" is.. WOW!! Soldiers lives days, weeks, MONTHS in the battlefield, a rape victim, a few hours, maybe a few days, for most victims. *shaking head*.. I'd also like to point out, two SURVIVORS, maybe you should read books about them and see how they managed.. Jaycee Lee Dugard [who was kidnapped for 13 YEARS, and had TWO children by her kidnapper!!], and Elizabeth Smart ["Smart testified to being raped three to four times daily, tied up and threatened with death if she attempted escape." Wikipedia].. .. I'll also agree with Kitten, that putting your rapist in jail would help!
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Now, can we try figuring out ways to make reporting rapes less traumatizing to the victims/survivors.
< Message edited by kkaliforniaa -- 9/3/2014 8:47:30 PM >
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RE: "Yes means yes" part 2 - 
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