RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman

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smileforme50 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 7:01:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: And I disagree with Greta- men shouldn't have to protect us. I am a proponent of traditional gender roles. I think the whole problem with women having issues with this, is they still think being "protected" as the weaker sex, means they cannot vote, or have equal rights to education etc etc. But I say this with the simple logic of how I would groom a son or a little brother, and he will have access to everything to go as far as he wanna go, and grow as far as he want to grow and be anything he wants to be. There's no oppression involve in protectiveness. That's why I believe in the D/S lifestyle. How can anybody who is submissive not believe in it? If we do not, then why do we want to submit to a male for? Why bother giving a man that much power over us in the first place? I don't disagree with you....but the problem with what you're saying is that it brings out all the super anti-feminists who think that women are trying to have their cake and eat it too.....and they get all pissy because they think that's wrong. They don't think that it's right for a woman to have the same rights and privileges as a man....and still want to be treated like a lady, with respect. They seem to think that if we are allowed to have the same education, career and personal independence opportunities that they do, then we should also be able to put up with all the crude and childish behavior that they exhibit on a regular basis.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 7:49:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 They don't think that it's right for a woman to have the same rights and privileges as a man....and still want to be treated like a lady, with respect. They seem to think that if we are allowed to have the same education, career and personal independence opportunities that they do, then we should also be able to put up with all the crude and childish behavior that they exhibit on a regular basis. Equal rights is all about basic human right. Not just women weren't allowed to vote, there was a time where minority race wasn't allowed to vote too. It's simply about according every human their core basic right, rights to education, rights to vote, rights to own property, rights to contribute to society with the skills they have to contribute. There are plenty of areas that aren't gender specific that female can contribute to. But they confuse this with the equality of men and women, as men and women can never ever be perfectly equal. A man can never carry a child in their bellies. And the strongest woman, the fastest female, still cannot beat the strongest and fastest man. We're just genetically different and have different purposes in life. Woman will never be equal as, they will always have to choose between career and family. The kind of dedication needed for many jobs can't afford you maternity leave. If any man don't feel like they should be protecting their baby mama, they are just not men, if they expect their baby mama to learn kung fu and fend for herself 7 months pregnant because it's equal rights, they are just...., an embarrassment to the male population really. In my culture, when a woman is pregnant, she's really treated like an invalid, the man won't even let her do anything herself, he wants to do everything for her, and just want her to rest and not move. Even after pregnancy, especially during the first month recovery. I guess it's just different, I cannot imagine men don't have the natural instincts to feel protective about their woman, they should be gays then.

smileforme50 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 7:50:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie She's fine...she also gets free dinners....doors held open, asked out. I know men who gets chauffeured by women in their fancy Porsche and get free dinners from them, gets gift and asked out. Not old grandmas, but hot young rich women in their 20's. Men who are charming enough and good looking enough don't need to be rich, women will pamper them. Just like women, the wealthy men wants the best looking ones too. Recently there was this case, a rich female student was chasing her professor. She buys him $1000 over dollars pens. Takes him out to posh restaurants and foots the bill, all in wooing him. They had sex too. It became media frenzy because they questioned if her grades were a result of all the things she did to sweeten him up. Women do woo men, you just aren't lucky enough to get wooed. My own brother is in school, while his girlfriend works full time, and she foots the bill for everything for him. And I financially supported my xhusband for first 2 years of our lives living together. Infact, our marital home, I paid 100% for it, he didn't put a cent to it. I know MANY MANY couples where the woman is the primary breadwinner and source of financial support in a relationship. My sister....has been with her husband for almost 30 years and married to him for 19 years. She has a bachelor's degree...he does not. Their home and all of their major assets are in her name only. 17 years ago, right after she got pregnant with my nephew, he got laid off from his job, and they decided that he would stay home to take care of the kids and house while she worked. The trouble is,, even after the kids were grown and no longer needed someone home all the time, he was less than enthusiastic about getting a job so my sister still provides most of the financial support. My brother's girlfriend was in the same situation with her ex-husband. He took care of their daughter while she went out to work every day. As part of their divorce settlement, they have joint custody of their daughter, but she has the house because it has always been in her name and SHE pays him $500 a month in child and spousal support. While my brother works full time, I'm sure he doesn't make as much money as she does and he gives her his paycheck every 2 weeks because she is very good at managing money (she works for a bank too) and he doesn't want to be bothered with it. When they get home from work every night....he cooks dinner....because he is a good cook and he enjoys it. My other sister....while her husband always made a lot more money than she did, he is 8 years older than she is and he retired last year. So ....I don't know how much he's bringing in on his Social Security and retirement accounts, but she is still working and is the one bringing in a paycheck and providing benefits for them both. My mother's second husband went on disability when he was 48 years old. She worked full time supporting him for another 12 years until she developed cancer when she was 62. My cousin has been a nurse for 26 years and owns her own house. Her third husband developed prostate cancer 6 years ago (two years after they married) and he's been on disability for 4 years. She was told 4 months ago that he probably has another year (now 8 months) to live. She still works full time and takes care of him. I was in a relationship with a man who, while he worked made more money than I did, but he did "contract" work and in between contracts he would be on unemployment and I was the only one working. The only woman I know who has ever gotten a "free dinner" is probably ME because I have a wonderful friend who makes probably 15 times the money I make. But even with HIM....I've paid 2 or 3 times because I don't like the idea of taking advantage of him like that...although he always tells me he doesn't care. This is just a few of the people I know in this situation. I could go on and on and on...... ...And one more thing.....I've been seeing a man since the beginning of this year and we are slowly discussing and negotiating a D/s...and possibly M/s relationship. He INSISTS that I wait for him to open a door for me, open a car door to let me in, and pay when we go out. It's funny....a couple of times I went to go into a restaurant and opened the door for HIM to go in and he looked and me and said (in a comical tone) "what the hell do you think you're doing??" He told me that he has taught his daughters that when they go out with a guy they should stand and wait for him to open the door.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 7:55:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 We're just genetically different and have different purposes in life. Pray tell, what is a woman's "purpose"?

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:06:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug Pray tell, what is a woman's "purpose"? Her purpose is to carry the new generation safely into the world. The man's purpose is jump start the process, but also see through the whole process by making sure no harm falls upon her and the new generation and they all survive healthy and well. Of course, some women may choose not to use her gift anymore as too much sacrifices is involved, then it is her choice to choose a different path. Not everybody choose to embrace the gift they have.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:16:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 Her purpose is to carry the new generation safely into the world. The man's purpose is jump start the process, but also see through the whole process by making sure no harm falls upon her and the new generation and they all survive healthy and well. Of course, some women may choose not to use her gift anymore as too much sacrifices is involved, then it is her choice to choose a different path. Not everybody choose to embrace the gift they have. With all due respect, Greta, that certainly explains a lot of what you have been saying here. From my perspective, it's about choice of what we do with our lives. Once we start with words like "purpose", we find ourselves at the top of a very slippery slope. You may very well believe that is your purpose...but once you assign that to an entire group, or in this case, a whole gender, it implies a lack of respect for the choices that other people make with their lives. You may very well not mean it in this way, but that is the way I took it, at least.

smileforme50 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:20:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 They don't think that it's right for a woman to have the same rights and privileges as a man....and still want to be treated like a lady, with respect. They seem to think that if we are allowed to have the same education, career and personal independence opportunities that they do, then we should also be able to put up with all the crude and childish behavior that they exhibit on a regular basis. Equal rights is all about basic human right. Not just women weren't allowed to vote, there was a time where minority race wasn't allowed to vote too. It's simply about according every human their core basic right, rights to education, rights to vote, rights to own property, rights to contribute to society with the skills they have to contribute. There are plenty of areas that aren't gender specific that female can contribute to. But they confuse this with the equality of men and women, as men and women can never ever be perfectly equal. A man can never carry a child in their bellies. And the strongest woman, the fastest female, still cannot beat the strongest and fastest man. We're just genetically different and have different purposes in life. Woman will never be equal as, they will always have to choose between career and family. The kind of dedication needed for many jobs can't afford you maternity leave. If any man don't feel like they should be protecting their baby mama, they are just not men, if they expect their baby mama to learn kung fu and fend for herself 7 months pregnant because it's equal rights, they are just...., an embarrassment to the male population really. In my culture, when a woman is pregnant, she's really treated like an invalid, the man won't even let her do anything herself, he wants to do everything for her, and just want her to rest and not move. Even after pregnancy, especially during the first month recovery. I guess it's just different, I cannot imagine men don't have the natural instincts to feel protective about their woman, they should be gays then. One of the big points that people bring up in the now fashionable "equal pay for equal work" debate is that one of the big reasons women don't make as much money as men is because they interrupt their careers to have children. They say that women take too much time off and have breaks in their employment history and this means they don't have enough time actually working at a job and therefore haven't put in the same amount of time as most men do....so it's only logical that they won't be making as much money. While I agree that a big part of this problem is that most employers don't give women paid leave of some kind when they take time off to have a child, things have definitely gotten better with FMLA and more employers offering short term disability. What really irritates me about the effect that having children has on a women's career is that it wouldn't affect women's careers nearly as much if the fathers of these children played a bigger part and took more responsibility for their children. I am SO SICK of hearing about "mothers and their children" when what we should be saying is "PARENTS and their children". Why is it always the woman who is automatically assumed will make the sacrifice to her job and career for the sake of her children....when those children have TWO parents? The kid gets sick at school or has a dentist appointment.....let the FATHER take time off from his job to handle it. I think that would help balance out the amount of time women lose at their jobs due to childcare issues....and maybe that just might help to balance out the unequal pay issue. This is a BIG reason why I never had the desire to.....and never had children. I saw too many women sacrifice their careers while their husbands just went about their merry way living their lives like their children were something they only thought about after 5:00.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:23:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy It was unfortunate that they were mostly black men on show, I'm not sure there were sinister reasons for that though. I don't think the issue is race. It's a fact that the blacks in the US are the most lacking behind in terms of education right? USA still have ghettos and kids that practically grew up without going to proper school, with proper upbringing. The issue is, education. A memory stuck by me, when I was 12 yr old and I was in California with my parents. And my parents parked to get something by a 24/7 convenience store. Some black folks came and ask me for money. I went to ask my dad for money to give to them. And of course my dad told me to ignore them and held my hand and drag me to the car quickly. Then a group of 5 black men came after us with crowbars, wanting to smash our car. It was scary as shit! But I just felt that, those 5 men probably didn't have a proper education.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:28:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 One of the big points that people bring up in the now fashionable "equal pay for equal work" debate is that one of the big reasons women don't make as much money as men is because they interrupt their careers to have children. I actually don't expect special treatment for women who has to disrupt her job to have babies. I don't expect any special treatment on that area. I think pay should be exactly equal for equal work. If she goes into maternity leave, it should be unpaid. I know it will make it harder for people to have families, but technically, it's not the problem of companies to worry about that, that's the government problem. In my country, the government pays for maternity leave, like national service, if the woman choose to get pregnant. So the company doesn't bear the cost. Which is exactly why again, having children is about sacrifices. Either the woman work, and the dad sacrifice his job, so she don't have too much time off work. OR the man work and the woman sacrifices. And if the man refuses to choose to be the one sacrificing, then he better take care of her. Or they both make enough money to get hired help to take care of the kids, so both can continue focusing on their careers. My mom and dad did just that, and both were career driven and ambitious. My mom goes back to work 24 hours after giving birth, she does not take any maternity leave. She also was her own boss and ran her own company, so not taking maternity leave was her choice. Oh, and I grew up in a family where my mom made about 5 figures more than my dad each month, it was a huge difference. So women paying for more things than the man is like normal in my life. That's why both my brothers date women who make more money than them too. And I also end up marrying a man who made less than me.

GoddessManko -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:32:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy It was unfortunate that they were mostly black men on show, I'm not sure there were sinister reasons for that though. I don't think the issue is race. It's a fact that the blacks in the US are the most lacking behind in terms of education right? Actually statistically it is red states with the worst overall education performance rates. And a white man once tried to abduct me, he was educated and rich. I don't think any of those things had to do with his psychotic behavior, that includes his race and socio-economic status. Yes, poverty and crime are relative, but people are still individuals. I have to agree with littleladybug that you tend to make very blanket statements in regards to gender and race.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:33:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Actually statistically it is red states with the worst overall education performance rates. And a white man once tried to abduct me, he was educated and rich. I don't think any of those things had to do with his psychotic behavior, that includes his race and socio-economic status. Yes, poverty and crime are relative, but people are still individuals. I have to agree with littleladybug that you tend to make very blanket statements in regards to gender and race. Are red states hick states? If the experiment of walking through those states shows more white men being disrespectful to women, then my theory still stands. Education is the problem.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:35:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 Are red states hick states? Honestly, Greta... do you have any respect toward anything in the US?

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:40:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug Honestly, Greta... do you have any respect toward anything in the US? It's more like cultural difference. We don't have political correctness like you guys have. We say things as it is, and it's often okay. It's like, the first thing people will ask you here is, what's your religion. That may seem rude in your culture but it's normal for us to ask that question first. When an American called me gook, I didn't even take offense. I agree I am a gook. It's my race, it's their term for my race, so what's there to be ashame about it? I am proud to be yellow.

smileforme50 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:41:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 Which is exactly why again, having children is about sacrifices. Either the woman work, and the dad sacrifice his job, so she don't have too much time off work. OR the man work and the woman sacrifices. And my point is.....why can't they BOTH make sacrifices so that neither one has to have their career suffer?

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:45:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 It's more like cultural difference. We don't have political correctness like you guys have. We say things as it is, and it's often okay. I would hardly blame this on "political correctness". Frankly, it's more of educating yourself on another culture if you're going to feel the need to comment on it. Calling Red States "hick states" off the cuff, just shows your own lack of education in the area, IMO. Same with the comments you've made on race and education. ETA-- just because YOU are accepting of being called what many would consider a derogatory name doesn't mean that everyone else is, or should be.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:48:04 AM)
And you know what? We say things as it is. For example, US enslaved the blacks, and took the land away from Native Americans. But what are they doing to help them? Maybe alot, I am not in the loop about all the efforts that's been done. But we did the same, chinese came into Singapore and took Singapore away from the Native Malays. But we take care of them. Malay is the only race that we give free education to, on top of their religious priviledges. All other races must pay for their education. Because we believe if we do not do so, they will never progress, and their communities will remain in slums, if we don't help them and make it easier for them to move up, and the easiest is to make it free for them so they have no excuse not to get an education. Their kids even will get pocket money funds for school. But it would not be politically correct to address problems honestly and give practical solutions. Like if you got ghettos and black people shooting black people, you got a problem, you got to admit the problem and face it head on, screw sensitivities, and implement practical solutions to really help them.

GoddessManko -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:49:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 I actually don't expect special treatment for women who has to disrupt her job to have babies. I don't expect any special treatment on that area. I think pay should be exactly equal for equal work. If she goes into maternity leave, it should be unpaid. I know it will make it harder for people to have families, but technically, it's not the problem of companies to worry about that, that's the government problem. In my country, the government pays for maternity leave, like national service, if the woman choose to get pregnant. So the company doesn't bear the cost. OK, you're from a more socialist country and I'm guessing you are making these generalizations due to lack of exposure. Here in the US, we try to lessen the tax burden by allowing our very profitable companies be responsible for the benefits of their workers instead of distributing it to the wider population who are not contributing to the productivity of said company. It logically puts the responsibility where it belongs. If a woman has a child and has neither entity then she would be faced with abject poverty, the horrible kinds we hear about in the poorest nations in the world. A woman shouldn't have to make that choice between motherhood and destitution. quote: Are red states hick states? Actually no, they are not. We don't refer to them as such either. One of the nicest places I have ever been by far is East Birmingham in Alabama (red state). The homes and landscaping and scenery was more beautiful than some of the richer areas in blue states I have visited. But I guess you have this very sort of detached way of looking at things that doesn't allow much scope. I have to just say that our outlook and impressions differ entirely.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:52:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko OK, you're from a more socialist country and I'm guessing you are making these generalizations due to lack of exposure. Here in the US, we try to lessen the tax burden by allowing our very profitable companies be responsible for the benefits of their workers instead of distributing it to the wider population who are not contributing to the productivity of said company. No, we infact have some of the lowest tax rate in this world. Only 40% of our population pay tax, and the starting rate is only 4% if you earn 30k per annum. The highest tax bracket is only 15%, and that's for people earning 300k per annum and above. Infact, I don't understand why US don't have socialism and yet pay tax like a socialist country. And on top of that, is in debt. We barely pay any tax and we are in surpluses, despite all the benefits we dish out to the less privilege. I think it's probably more tighter distribution of funds too, to make sure the genuine needy gets it, and people can't abuse the system.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:53:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Actually no, they are not. We don't refer to them as such either. One of the nicest places I have ever been by far is East Birmingham in Alabama (red state). The homes and landscaping and scenery was more beautiful than some of the richer areas in blue states I have visited. But I guess you have this very sort of detached way of looking at things that doesn't allow much scope. I have to just say that our outlook and impressions differ entirely. I don't view hick as a negative word. I see it as a type of culture from people from those states. And of course those states are beautiful, as they have more nature left and less city-like areas.

Greta75 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/4/2014 8:58:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug ETA-- just because YOU are accepting of being called what many would consider a derogatory name doesn't mean that everyone else is, or should be. Well, a word is derogatory only if you give it that power. That's why many subs have no problems being addressed as sluts right by a loving master who use that word with love? The American guy who always call me gook, initially, was intentional racism, but eventually, it became a word of affection as he couldn't get me offended. I'm usually very good with racist people, as I don't get upset with their racial slurs. I think some stereotyping is understandable and inevitable. But you can either fit into the stereotype or just don't be the stereotype, your choice.

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