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I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:38:47 PM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

       In the spirit of not just assuming my personal opinions and hypothesis are correct, I'm wondering if people could explain to me just how on-line training works? I'll 'fess up here and admit that I'm a complete virgin even to the most vanilla of cyber-sex. From an adult BBS in 1990 to present, I've never been past chatroom flirting.

     Now, I find myself interacting with people who make virtual BDSM their chosen form of expression and I'm completely clueless. How does it work? What do you do? Is it satisfying?

     I'd honestly like to understand.

Post #: 1

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:40:38 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

that's a good question. how does the Dominant know for sure the submissive is actually doing all that they tell them to do? nobody can know for sure.

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Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 2

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:43:43 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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In the words of Jeff Lebowski, in reply to Jackie Treehorn saying that the future was 100% Digital Erotic Entertainment.

"I still jack off manually."

I dont have a clue how it works, but I do know people who totally get off on it. For me, my keyboard and screen doesnt really have what it takes to get Mr. Tiny interested.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 3

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:43:53 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I love it when they wipe their little pissflaps all over the screen at my command and it goes all blurry...........

Really.

Seriously, it is all in the mind......and you gotta wanna, alotta people need the hands on.........but many are happy to get that virtual moment and do it vicariously...that's why they have a word like vicarious. Even Lam would agree that it's root word is vicar and it is latin, I think.

What say you, two-elephants-fucking?

LOL
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 4

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:46:13 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Ohhhhhhh ... this was hot enough for me. Major style points for quoting a great film!

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"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 5

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:46:40 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

      In the spirit of not just assuming my personal opinions and hypothesis are correct, I'm wondering if people could explain to me just how on-line training works? I'll 'fess up here and admit that I'm a complete virgin even to the most vanilla of cyber-sex. From an adult BBS in 1990 to present, I've never been past chatroom flirting.

    Now, I find myself interacting with people who make virtual BDSM their chosen form of expression and I'm completely clueless. How does it work? What do you do? Is it satisfying?

    I'd honestly like to understand.

I don't know..............

Ever watch a girl sticking needles in her tits on cam-because you told her to?

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 6

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:53:30 PM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Ever watch a girl sticking needles in her tits on cam-because you told her to?

How would you know the needles were sterile? What about aftecare? Is it just getting a live porn show?

(in reply to Caretakr)

Post #: 7

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:57:28 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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I wouldn't be able to hear the screams correctly on the sound systems I have available..........they just can't register the high notes of the agony and the ecstasy, it is like looking at young african girl tits in national geographic, you can dream of life as an adventurer....................But you are gonna have to kiss johnny depp to do it.

some people, that's ok.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 8

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:57:37 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

Doing the whole thing safely is part of the ritual.

New Medical sharps, gloves, alchohol.

Same thing I would do myself.

I never do ld, except to aquaint.

Let's just call it "giving a taste."

And not everyone needs cuddles and kisses after a scene.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 7/13/2006 6:58:26 PM >

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 9

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 6:59:16 PM

jezabelKH

Posts: 663
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

in my humble opinion it does not work. no proof, anyone can type they are doing something, sure you can use a web cam.......but it is ohhh so much better to do in person. personally i don't cyber, cam or online anything with anyone except the message boards and groups i belong to... i guess what i am saying is online is a way to communicate not to train.

jezabel{KH}
just simply a slave
Property Of Master Ken

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 10

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:01:21 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezabelKH

in my humble opinion it does not work. no proof, anyone can type they are doing something, sure you can use a web cam.......but it is ohhh so much better to do in person. personally i don't cyber, cam or online anything with anyone except the message boards and groups i belong to... i guess what i am saying is online is a way to communicate not to train.

jezabel{KH}
just simply a slave
Property Of Master Ken

Youv'e done it then, and it didn't work?

(in reply to jezabelKH)

Post #: 11

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:05:37 PM

WyrdRich

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Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

And not everyone needs cuddles and kisses after a scene.

Nope, some need to walk or just need a 'sitter' until the endorphin rush winds down. Dominance is dependent on personal responsibility. Granted, nothing virtual is ever going to approach the levels of what I consider a good time, but is it possible to meet the obligations you incur in an on-line thing?

(in reply to Caretakr)

Post #: 12

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:09:08 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

And not everyone needs cuddles and kisses after a scene.

Nope, some need to walk or just need a 'sitter' until the endorphin rush winds down. Dominance is dependent on personal responsibility. Granted, nothing virtual is ever going to approach the levels of what I consider a good time, but is it possible to meet the obligations you incur in an on-line thing?

There are ways to offer assurance and support that are not physical. And I'm usually on the phone with a girl when it gets to that point. Also remember, this is how I get aquainted in many cases-it was never long until we were in the flesh.

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 13

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:09:22 PM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezabelKH

in my humble opinion it does not work. no proof, anyone can type they are doing something, sure you can use a web cam.......but it is ohhh so much better to do in person. personally i don't cyber, cam or online anything with anyone except the message boards and groups i belong to... i guess what i am saying is online is a way to communicate not to train.

jezabel{KH}
just simply a slave
Property Of Master Ken

This pretty well sums up my current attitude about it. People do it though, and if it works for them, it must be a valid form of expression. So I'm seeking to expand my knowledge and maybe, possibly be able to appreciate it for what it is.

(in reply to jezabelKH)

Post #: 14

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:12:44 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

gosh it is so not about better or worse, it is about what works for the two folks involved....it can be as beautiful as writing stories together, playing naughty chess games together, just talking about the hardships of the day, laughing and loving same as any other situation....

the d/s is a bit trickier, but it also forces you to be much more creative....with play, punishment and aftercare..after care could be sending her a teeshirt you have warm and then having her wear it or wrap it around her eyes before bed....simple things like tying toes together is a very sexy thing to do with some one before they sleep....

its a mental connection, i have reaped many rewards as a Domme and as a sub from on line interactions they are like all relationships, as worthwhile as you are willing to invest into them...nay sayer might poo poo that fact that it is not real....i disagree the person is a real person....you are a real person...the energy you share is no different then energy in a meat life scene....

i would say try it....its fun...yet another wonderful thing this lifestyle offers .....thats all ....just one more wonderful thing.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to jezabelKH)

Post #: 15

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:14:45 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezabelKH

in my humble opinion it does not work. no proof, anyone can type they are doing something, sure you can use a web cam.......but it is ohhh so much better to do in person. personally i don't cyber, cam or online anything with anyone except the message boards and groups i belong to... i guess what i am saying is online is a way to communicate not to train.

jezabel{KH}
just simply a slave
Property Of Master Ken

This pretty well sums up my current attitude about it. People do it though, and if it works for them, it must be a valid form of expression. So I'm seeking to expand my knowledge and maybe, possibly be able to appreciate it for what it is.

Let me put it this way Rich. I've built up enough trust and respect to have girls come across the country to be with me this way. Just by being me, no acts, no masks.

It's still a COMMUNICATION venue, and the sound and visual inflections are present, even if the actual physical is not.

What IS a waste, is lacking the imagination to use it for more than just whacking off.

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 16

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:24:37 PM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

gosh it is so not about better or worse, it is about what works for the two folks involved....it can be as beautiful as writing stories together, playing naughty chess games together, just talking about the hardships of the day, laughing and loving same as any other situation....

the d/s is a bit trickier, but it also forces you to be much more creative....with play, punishment and aftercare..after care could be sending her a teeshirt you have warm and then having her wear it or wrap it around her eyes before bed....simple things like tying toes together is a very sexy thing to do with some one before they sleep....

its a mental connection, i have reaped many rewards as a Domme and as a sub from on line interactions they are like all relationships, as worthwhile as you are willing to invest into them...nay sayer might poo poo that fact that it is not real....i disagree the person is a real person....you are a real person...the energy you share is no different then energy in a meat life scene....

i would say try it....its fun...yet another wonderful thing this lifestyle offers .....thats all ....just one more wonderful thing.

This is the kind of answer I was hoping for. Hope I hear from more people with their perspectives.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 17

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 7:27:40 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

My first D/s experiences were of an online nature a few years ago. I should clarify that online meant chatting online, email, voice chat, and sometimes phone calls. It was understood by me and my partner that online was the only way we could participate, and there was no expectation for real time due to our circumstances at the time. My sub was also in England, so we were thousands of miles away from each other. My online D/s "relationship" lasted a year, and we still maintain contact as friends via email to this day.

I often set up tasks that involved voice messages, thought-provoking emails, pictures, and things like picking out his clothing for the day. I usually required pictures or other messages to guarantee that he did something, but I also had a level of trust that he did complete my tasks because we had spent a lot of time communicating. I don't think that real life relationships can guarantee tasks are completed unless you live with your partner, so the idea that online can't work because you don't see the sub doesn't fly with me.

I think online relationships can be rewarding and believe some form of a D/s dynamic can be achieved. You basically get out of it what you put into it. I have since moved on to a wonderful real life relationship, but I will always look back upon my online experiences as a time of growth and discovery for me.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 18

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 8:18:43 PM

janiceleeinsc

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

Online can be rewarding. It is what you make out of it.   When I train someone online, I tell them this.   I have one Male Dom who I have helped, and he is doing very well.
There are some things I would not try to do online such as edge play.
But the only problem is every time I train someone, they always fall in love with me. I don't use cam.   I do it through Instant Messenger, but can tell by there journal reports if they are being honest with their reactions.
It is better real time, but all of us do not have that luxury of having a Dom/sub near by.   Sooner or later you will probably want to come out to real time, and that is when it hits you right in the face. It is like a major homecoming.
Respectfully,
Mistress_Jan

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 19

RE: I don't get it (no pun intended) - 7/13/2006 9:07:00 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I have not had an online D/s relationship, but I did end up here because I participated on Yahoo quite a bit. I met several people there I came to know very well. I think the rapport that develops online can be very honest and open because it grows very naturally with no expectations. People who enjoy chatting with each other online, do so because the act of chatting and getting to know the other person is enjoyable in and of itself. They are not doing it just to get the chat part over with so they can get to the part where they meet. It allows one to be themself more easily and worry less about whether you will make a "couple" or not.

I would think if a close bond developed between two people that it would not be necessary to get proof that a sub has complied because the sub would want the connection s/he would get from the act. Of course the "proof" is the part that makes the Dom feel the connection, but really any form of feedback would serve the purpose. If you talked about the subs reaction, had them explain exactly what they did, how they did it, how if felt, who was around them etc.... Much like any online sexual interaction, it's all in how well the details are explained.

You know, if you think about it, people on these boards are always saying the mind is the most important sexual organ. Well an online relationship strips everything else away. There is nothing physical to distract from the meeting of the minds. It is a completely psychological connection.

It seems to me it could be quite powerful.

(in reply to janiceleeinsc)

Post #: 20

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