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RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 8:46:31 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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Number 7 is my personal favorite.

Not only for saying that whips and chains are not necessary, but also (and more) for saying that there no "one model for how BDSM relationships should be". Part of the reason why I don't bring up some of the intricacies of my relationship to close friends and family is the automatic picture in a lot of people's minds as to what "BDSM is". The stereotype of "whips and chains" existed long before FSOG. I don't bring up the specific D/s aspect of my relationship because I don't feel like being in a position of saying, "yeah, I know what you're thinking, but that's not the way we work". I have no illusions that the stereotypes will go away-- it was just nice to read this comment in this article.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 41

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 8:54:23 AM

TransFat

Posts: 20
Joined: 4/12/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: TransFat

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

For some it is inherently sexual. For some it's not. In truth BDSM isn't inherently anything except perhaps different to the norm

BDSM is inherently non-sexual. It's only sexualized when we make it so. Water is inherent in all life, just because some people like to drink water and some don't doesn't change that fact... So why does that notion of some people ONLY employing BDSM in a sexual nature change the fact that it's inherently non-sexual? It doesn't, and nor is it bad, or wrong to sexualize BDSM in the first place.

Folks who think that BDSM is inherently sexual are only thinking of their own experiences; they're trying to shove their own shoes on everyone else's foot.

You are making a generalization that BDSM is inherently non-sexual, thus you are only thinking of your own experiences; you are trying to shove your own shoes on everyone else's foot.

See how that works?

It's nothing to do with my own experiences. It's cold, hard, fact. BDSM isn't sexual unless you make it so. Full stop. You folks are arguing against fact, not expressing your opinion, I'm not "Generalizing" anything; you're intellectually smashing your collective heads against a brick wall over and over hoping to make a dent.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 42

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 12:39:37 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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Sorry, dude, no matter how many times you try, you cannot make your opinion a fact.

I say BDSM is sexual. That is my opinion, not a fact.

You saying it's not sexual is not A FACT.

(in reply to TransFat)

Post #: 43

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 12:44:36 PM

TransFat

Posts: 20
Joined: 4/12/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Sorry, dude, no matter how many times you try, you cannot make your opinion a fact.

I say BDSM is sexual. That is my opinion, not a fact.

You saying it's not sexual is not A FACT.

I'm not a dude. What is inherently sexual about bondage for example? Or power exchange? Or pouring a can of tomatoe sauce over someone? It's a FACT that those things are not inherently sexual. Sure you can sexualize them but that doesn't make them inherently sexual.

Seriously though, I'm done. If you and your ilk want to act as an echo chamber for eachother go for it. I will no longer let some clique push me around; this isn't junior high.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 44

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 12:48:48 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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Naturally everyone else is wrong.

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(in reply to TransFat)

Post #: 45

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 1:11:59 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Naturally everyone else is wrong.

Not everyone.

I got what TransFat was saying and I agree with her.

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(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 46

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 1:41:04 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I'm not going to keep arguing...

I do want to clear the air though:

I don't know one person on this board who is bedroom only like me- and plenty of them have dynamics I respect, love, and embrace. I have always been open to your view of what is inherent and important in your dynamics. There are a few kinks I do view as wrong- but non sexual BDSM relationships are certainly NOT on that list.

My posting history should pretty much stand for itself with that. I just think what is "inherent" in the instance of BDSM is subjective.

ETA- doing this from a phone is also contributing to the "short sounding" nature of my posts, and certainly the poor grammar and spelling.

Like you, I go for a bedroom-only dynamic. I also think it's kinda silly to argue that BDSM is inherently one thing (or not one thing) while insisting that it's different for everyone.

But, I see both sides of this. I do get sick of dealing with people who see kinky and think easy, because they think that kink and sex are intertwined. But I also don't want to be involved with those who see kink and sex as completely separate, because I happen to enjoy the kinky sex aspects.

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(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 47

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 2:30:31 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

I forgot you were bedroom only *hugs* sorry!

(in reply to RockaRolla)

Post #: 48

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 2:47:49 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I forgot you were bedroom only *hugs* sorry!

No worries!

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(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 49

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 4:19:40 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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But that article starts off saying "BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M)"

I just couldn't read further because they don't even know what the BDSM acronym stands for.

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I give good thread.

(in reply to MistressFiera)

Post #: 50

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 4:21:25 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Bring Da Slutty Masochist?

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 51

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 4:47:49 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Bring Da Slutty Masochist?

ETA- In all seriousness though- my take away from this is...

BDSM- much like "home"- is what you make it.

But please lets continue to 10 pages.

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 2/27/2015 4:48:54 PM >

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 52

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 5:01:58 PM

ChrchofDrk

Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
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*ponders if masochists are inherently slutty

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 53

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 6:13:18 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Lets talk about cliques some more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_dCc-9pEPM

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 54

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/27/2015 6:50:12 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Lets talk about cliques some more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_dCc-9pEPM

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(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 55

RE: 25 things everyone should know about BDSM - 2/28/2015 4:58:41 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Lets talk about cliques some more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_dCc-9pEPM

That was so FETCH!!!!

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 56

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