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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/14/2015 8:37:51 AM   
dreamlady


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orgasmdenial12, I understand much better where you're coming from by elaborating upon your CMS philosophy. Then shiftyw has raised pertinent issues which don't "fit" into those puzzle pieces. But due to time constraints, let me focus on the following instead:

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

So, how is superiority? Power = superior?

What is the superiority difference? For example, I believe that I am the right one to lead in my relationships, and that in any relationship I am in, I will lead. However, I don't hold that that makes me superior, even if I am better in that particular skill.

That's the gist of it then, where belief system collides with value system or, conversely, where the two become integrated. Superiority has to do with placing more value upon one quality or personal attribute over another. It still boils down to inferiority being perceived as "less" than and "lower" than. If the Dominant partner perceives himself or herself to be superior to the submissive partner, and the submissive partner sees himself or herself as being inferior to the Dominant partner, then this goes beyond belief system into value system, where apparent power and authority become the defining factors. In terms of D/s, this is where many Dominants have placed a greater value on their dominance over another, which then makes the D/s power exchange unbalanced. Equal value is not being exchanged because the submissive's submission has already been devalued.

I don't believe that a parent staying home to raise children is of less value than the parent who works outside the home, something which wasn't as much a division of labor back when we had more agrarian-based societies, or in an agrarian-based society. Even in more patriarchal-leaning nomadic herding cultures, children spent/spend more time helping and being taught by their fathers. (Mongolian girls learn to become expert horseriders, archers and hunters. Males learn how to prepare goat milk products for their own sustenance, and young males without brides are taught how to fend for themselves domestically, or how to be self-sustaining. Independence from others and from outsiders - basic survival skills themselves - is more valued than being relegated to gender roles, as well as interdependent clan loyalty.)
I also don't believe that taking on a nurturing role, raising a family and running a household is inferior to competing in the outside world with others. Both of these functions complement one another.

Do males tend to be more competitive than females? One could argue that a largely testosterone-fueled entity will jockey for positions of power and authority more than an entity who is more group or teamwork-oriented. But, I don't see where the interests of the team and of community should be devalued over individual achievement or personal authority; and I have never beheld a working, functioning model which can succeed based on these types of Superiority/inferiority valuations, whether historically or culturally.

There are many closet believers whose privately-held beliefs may not ever spill over into their public life.
I believe that is what orgasmdenial has trying to explain to the rest of us who are not CMS or CFS believers. But I still don't see how this is a "legitimate" fetish or kink, or where it belongs in BDSM beyond role-playing.

(in reply to NookieNotes)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/14/2015 9:23:38 AM   
Kaliko


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FR

I don't see how believing in male supremacy is a kink at all. (Unless it is. I suppose anything could be a fetish or a kink. But in this case - for me - I would never call it a kink.) And no - it's not role playing. It's just what some people believe. It's not really that different than many other things that people believe but don't make a big deal about.

I also don't see how I need anyone's consent to think anything. I can think whatever I want to think about people. I keep shaking my head when I read this thread, wondering why anybody needs to be okay with what I think about them.

Okay. So we know that I believe in male superiority. But (and stay with me here) just because I feel good about something and I feel like it works for me doesn't mean that I think I'm right and other people are wrong. I don't have a backlog of data to convince other people that men are superior to women because I don't need it. I don't care if other people feel the way I do and I don't care if people don't understand my reasons. I'm the one that has to be happy in my skin and having this perspective works well for me.

Now. I'll try to explain myself a bit further. I don't consider my submission to be a kink. Some of my behavior to manifest my submission is kinky as hell, yes. But I submit in all aspects of my life - to Awareness, to others, to "God." Even if I were not in a relationship, I would be practicing submission and obedience, trying to improve myself in those areas. Part of my practicing submission is to not enforce my will on others. I'm usually happy to share my opinions about many things, but if I'm approaching life from a place of obedience and submission, then I am in no position of authority to believe that I am right over anyone else's belief that they are right. It would go against what I'm trying to achieve for myself if I were to judge others and try to force them to view their world the same way I view mine. This is how I know that I can believe in something - male superiority, in this case - and that I can remove that from my dealings with others. Because it has nothing to do with anyone else.

I still haven't gone into why I believe in male superiority, and I won't. It's one of those things that I feel like I would be constantly on the defensive about in conversation and I'm just not up for the argument. But I do feel like I want to clarify that I don't feel the need to obey every idiot with a dick who looks in my direction. And I don't align myself with those male supremacists who would want to see a society in which women are enslaved and kept as chattel. I'm not ridiculous about it. A very simple version is this: No, I don't feel like every man out there is superior to women. I feel like they should be, but that too many men miss the mark for their potential. And I'll leave it at that.


< Message edited by Kaliko -- 3/14/2015 10:00:45 AM >

(in reply to dreamlady)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/14/2015 9:58:23 AM   
sexyred1


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I am curious as to why you wish all men should be superior to you.

Isn't it only important that you feel your man is superior to you?

i know you said you approach life in a submissive manner to everyone, so perhaps in your ideal world that makes sense.

(in reply to Kaliko)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/14/2015 10:02:16 AM   
Kaliko


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I am curious as to why you wish all men should be superior to you.

Isn't it only important that you feel your man is superior to you?

i know you said you approach life in a submissive manner to everyone, so perhaps in your ideal world that makes sense.



I meant "me" as in me, representative of women. That was unclear. I've fixed it now.


(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/14/2015 11:21:39 AM   
shiftyw


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The consentual thing is really throwing me.
And I've never seen this presented as kink beyond role play.
I think as a belief system- consent obviously goes out the window. But I keep hearing people say it and I am just confused as shit over that aspect of this conversation. I guess I just don't see some of this as male supremacy and still has a MLR- or 1950's housewife stuff.

Kaliko thank you for your input- I've been hoping you would stop by this thread.

(in reply to Kaliko)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/14/2015 3:14:31 PM   
smileforme50


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist


quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

So men are superior because they can write their name in the snow with piss? I'll agree to that.



Maybe if your name is Sam.. or.. even Dick.. but what if your name is
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu Smith?

:P

That's a lot of i's to dot and t's to cross in an end dribble.




Two bottles of wine an I can do that one



Isn't there an old joke (now updated!)

One morning President Obama woke up and looked out the window to find the White House lawn covered in a new snowfall. but when he took a second look he saw that there were yellow letters that said "Obama is an Idiot!"

He calls his chief of staff...."Find out who did that!! NOW"

His chief of staff come comes back and says "Umm....Mr President.....we have some bad news....and some worse news..."

"The bad news is that those words were made with Joe Biden's piss. The worse news is that it's definitely Michelle's handwriting...."

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 11:26:34 AM   
orgasmdenial12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
So, how is superiority? Power = superior?

What is the superiority difference? For example, I believe that I am the right one to lead in my relationships, and that in any relationship I am in, I will lead. However, I don't hold that that makes me superior, even if I am better in that particular skill.


In fairness, I was asking more about male supremacy (i.e. power and control) rather superiority, which is a whole other kettle of fish. I don't think I would be comfortable arguing that men are superior to women, since its too generalised and too open to debate. It's certainly not something I personally believe, although I can see that there'd be a lot of cross over between the two viewpoints.

(in reply to NookieNotes)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 11:51:02 AM   
orgasmdenial12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I have said and long adovcated for maternity leave for both parents.


Me too. I have also advocated for women to be able to serve on the front line in the military, if they are willing and able to. I despise political and legal inequality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
Equality to me, means equality of choice first and foremost


Ditto. It's not consensual if it's not freely chosen. And it's not consensual if the government does your choosing for you, either, via unequal policies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
a society moving towards nationwide legalization of gay marriage.


Gay marriage is cool. I'm happy to live in a country where full gay marriage is completely legal. Hopefully your country will get there soon also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I still have issues seeing this as anything but sexism and gender bias.


Sexism, to me, is when my opportunities are limited by non-consensual stereotypes being levied against me. CSM is when I consensually embody particular ideas about men and women for the greater satisfaction of myself and my husband. One is consensual and the other is not. As regards bias - it is bias, I could never submit to a woman but I happily submit to men. Is that sexism? Or just sexual orientation? And is there even a difference? Is sexism okay when we're choosing a romantic partner but not when we're deciding who to submit to? Or is it always okay to choose who we love and submit to, even if it involves direct and incontrovertible sexism? I feel submissive to some men but never to women. Should I make myself submit to a woman, just to be equal?

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I don't want kids, I'm the main breadwinner, I'm bisexual. How do you support those choices of mine, but believe in supremacy?


Consent. Consent. Consent. I feel like this is the part of it that you can't get your head around, so you keep imagining all these non-consensual male supremacist scenarios and feel defensive and annoyed (understandably). I have no interest at all in choosing your life for you, or any other man or woman's life for them. I'm interested only in choosing my own life. It's just that I want that choice to include a gender hierarchy for me and for the very limited numbers of people in my life that it may apply to - at present, that's my husband and a few other men and women in a male-dominant protocol sort of thing we have. The thought of including any single person who didn't consent to be included is repulsive to me. If they're not enjoying it, then what's the point? If they don't want it, then what's the point? Consent, consent, consent! Everytime you imagine any scenario - ask yourself, did all the people in this scenario consent to it? If so, then I'm all for it. If not, then I'm not for it. I would no more seek to extend my CMS views onto unwilling parties than I would seek to extend s&m onto unwilling parties!

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I think my role should be viewed as more than my vagina- since genetics decided that, I didnt.


Lol, it'd be easy if my role was just a vagina :-P Actually, it's a lot more work than that, service, etc, and far more than just genetics.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 12:39:30 PM   
shiftyw


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See to me- that is the role fullfillment or play. As my last post pointed out- and you addressed it- I don't really consider that supremacy

I see that as agreeing to a male lead relationship or traditional roles because they work for you. I don't think you have an underlying belief that men are biologically better than women. That there roles are more important.

To me- that isn't supremacy.

I just treat people on a person to person basis- you don't get respect or certain protocol based on gender.

Perhaps it's the country I grew up in vs yours- but we've got a long history of a problem with white supremacy. Perhaps that is why I don't see what you're talking about as supremacy- since as a belief system- most people apply it to the whole world or all of humanity.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 12:41:16 PM   
shiftyw


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Also- I meant your service and role is based solely on you having a vagina.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 12:45:09 PM   
mnottertail


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If you didnt have one of those, it would be another role to play, wouldnt it? Barbie didnt have one.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 1:10:24 PM   
shiftyw


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Well I just see gender as unimportant in what roles I do play. Not the deciding factor.
Say what you will about Barbie- but that world she lives in must just give out college degrees! Homegirl did it all. Probably because she didn't have to agrue about gender and there was no gender based distinction. Seeing as she didn't really have a gender...and ken didn't either.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 1:39:28 PM   
DerangedUnit


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The part I never understood was why certain interests are seen as superior... why is working superior to having kids? Why being a lumberjack better than answering phones? Why are sports better than art? Are apples better than oranges?

People are always comparing men and women based on their interests... 'i dont like other women because they just like shopping and book club' and it's usually women I hear making these comparisons...

I think people are trying to equate acting like the sterotypical man with being 'manly'... "if I have the same hobbies as a man i'll be seen as having bigger balls"

That's why I cant make sense of anything being considered superior. It's just another way humans feel the need to compartmentalize so that they can try to put order to something too complex to fit into a window of what they themselves are interested in... people arr comfortable when they have a place. The idea of being different and still being equal seems unheard of.

If you dont like mayo on your sandwich you arent being oppressed when you get it without mayo. You like the sandwich without mayo it doesn't make it a superior sandwich.

Ive never "liked" another woman, I generally cant stand them... that doesn't mean I think im superior... it means I just dont like any of the ones ive met. There are a few guys I respect, and no women that have ever gotten close to that mark, but they arent inferior because methodology doesnt match. How is who you are as a person supposed to equate to being superior to someone else as a person?

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 1:46:57 PM   
shiftyw


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Well because in general- with the opposite sex in power, that means political and economic power. People get pissy when they don't get to be what they want. Or spend their own money.

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 2:42:50 PM   
DerangedUnit


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What does the government have to do with gender? With multiple sides competing for power both sides will always grow, creating another arms race(or genital race), makes the organization more powerful not the individual. You cant pass a law to change a belief, you can only pass a law to make people hide a belief. Just because someone has a position that is "seen" as important, doesn't mean they are the ones making the decisions. The ceo gets outbid by the stock holders, the president is mainly a spokesperson, in relationships one pwrson can make all the money while the other stays home and the breadwinner will still change and listen to their partner. It isnt a battle, you dont "win" at relationships... making more money doesnt make someone a better person. It makes them better at a different thing. All of my long term partners at one point believed "all women are crazy" or "they all just want to use men" or "they are just fir breeding" power didnt change their minds. Fighting a battle of who's superior is what caused those ideas in the first place. It's possible to live alongside someone different without seeing a "<" ">" attached to every action. Equality isn't a battle, it's a state of mind. When you are ok with yourself you are equal.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 2:47:58 PM   
GoddessManko


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I have to say I don't understand what either of you are saying, LOL. But it is what it is.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 3:01:22 PM   
orgasmdenial12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
See to me- that is the role fullfillment or play. As my last post pointed out- and you addressed it- I don't really consider that supremacy

I see that as agreeing to a male lead relationship or traditional roles because they work for you. I don't think you have an underlying belief that men are biologically better than women. That there roles are more important.

To me- that isn't supremacy.


I never stated that I saw men as *better* than women (male superiority) or that their roles were more *important*. In fact, I never made any comment on the relative importance of traditional male or female roles (although several posters seem to have reacted in a way that suggests they feel that such a comment was made - knee-jerk defensiveness, perhaps?) I stated that I saw men as being more likely to seek out and sustain power over women (male supremacy).

As we discussed before, the difference between a male-led relationship and a Consensual Male Supremacy relationship is the philosophy behind it. If my philosophy was simply that I wished to adopt a traditional gender role or that I preferred a male-led relationship then I would agree with you. However, my philosophy is actually that men and women generally gravitate towards different roles and that human biology supports a difference in male and female roles, i.e. women may breastfeed for a sustained time after giving birth, may rely on male earnings, men may more easily fit into leadership and protective roles, relying on female nurturing and domestic roles, etc All of these comments support an ideology that promotes male power and leadership within the home - thus, male supremacy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
...you don't get respect or certain protocol based on gender.


I don't respect women less than men. I respect men and women equally. I just don't feel submissive to women, whereas I do feel submissive towards some men. As regards protocol, it's only really applicable amongst those who have consented to give or receive that protocol. I find it a bit weird when people try to enforce their group protocol on me when I haven't consented to it, and I wouldn't be comfortable doing that with others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
Perhaps it's the country I grew up in vs yours- but we've got a long history of a problem with white supremacy. Perhaps that is why I don't see what you're talking about as supremacy- since as a belief system- most people apply it to the whole world or all of humanity.


I think that there are several levels of confusion here; one is the difference between superiority and supremacy. Superiority talks about something being better or worth more than another thing. Supremacy talks about who has power in a situation i.e. 'supreme leader'. I think that when people talk about 'white supremacy' they are more often actually referring to a belief in 'white superiority' and that perhaps this is where some confusion is creeping in when I talk about 'male supremacy'. As far as I am aware, 'white supremacy' groups tend towards a campaign of attacks and bullying, based on a racist ideology of black inferiority, rather than standing for election or campaigning for black slavery? But I might be wrong on that point...

If we were all being honest, we live in a male supremacy world anyway. That's not a value judgement, it's simply a statement of fact. I suppose the difference is your individual viewpoint on living in such a world. Like I said, I'm comfortable with men having consensual power over women, and I suppose that's what defines me as a male supremacist. Would you say you are uncomfortable with male power over women in general?

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 3:16:51 PM   
orgasmdenial12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Also- I meant your service and role is based solely on you having a vagina.


If I had to make a distinction, it's based more on me having a womb. But I take your point.

I could wax lyrical here about what I see as the power and beauty of male impregnation of the female body but no doubt it would have you all up in arms. And, no doubt, I'm sure there are many Mistresses (and other men and women) who see it as an act of female, rather than male power. But either way, there is something about pregnancy and the different biology that seems to bring femininity and masculinity into sharp focus. It's amazing how many women, who seem very plain and unremarkable, just blossom into outrageous, gorgeous, sexy femininity once they are pregnant. I've never been able to see it as anything but the ultimate act of femininity, self-sacrifice, a certain masochistic commitment to suffering for what one loves and a transformation into a different state of being. When a man caresses the round shape of his pregnant partner, and knows that a part of himself, his child, is growing inside the woman, and that it was his action that placed it there, I just can't see it as anything except dominion. I used to be 'child free' and see it as a hideous, terrifying and unwanted loss of control over one's own body, but now I see it as beautiful for just the same reasons. I suppose I see it as a very female act of submission.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/16/2015 4:43:09 PM   
shiftyw


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I can see what you're saying.

just...not good for me. its just not how I view it-for a lot of reasons.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
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RE: Bit Controversial - Consensual Male Supremacy? - 3/17/2015 4:02:37 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

So in a nutshell, Supremacy is very individually defined as well.



Only when misconstruing language.

Supreme is widely understood to mean supreme.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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