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-=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- - 4/12/2015 1:52:13 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		<soapbox>

I am a sexual sadist. I can prove my paraphilia really exists and can be found within DSM-5 criteria. So can 106 other fetish paraphilias. However, there is no such fetish, no paraphilia that defines money pigs, financial domination or a FinDom. So for me, I have to ask myself if it's a real life fetish? The answer I came up with was no.

I can find evey kink I have ever seen by that list from the DSM . . . except FinDoms and money pigs. And in my 44 years in the lifestyle, I have seen a majority of that list in real life. But I have never seen a FinDom or money pig anywhere in real life, only online. Lets take something on the outskirts of BDSM for example, like adult babies. It has nothing to do with leather, bondage, discipline or sadomasochism. But look it up and you'll find 2 paraphilias listed as infantilism (treated like baby) and autonephioplia (wearing diapers). And so, the ever expanding BDSM fetish community has grown to adopt this adult baby kink under its umbrella and we see them in real life at events, parties and munches. Hell, we have always been able to look at the DSM to find creative new fetishes haven't we . . . so why aren't money pigs and FinDommes listed in the DSM and only found online?

I don't have anything against exchanging money or a girl working for living. I just don't like bullshit shoved at me in the name of kink. I believe proDommes work for a living by servicing their client's fetish desires. They are real, even break a sweat when required. They maintain a dungeon facility to do incalls. They travel to do outcalls. Some pros even participate in their community doing demos or workshops. They are a tangible reality . . . oh, and what they do is found in the DSM.

I have never seen a money pig or FinDom host a workshop or do a demo. I have never seen one participate in the BDSM community. They aren't real life leather folk or kinksters to me, they are an online anomaly. Here at CollarSpace, the Finnies get free advertising in the guise of a profile so they can tease money from tourists and clients just like a stripper at bar. It's an age old practice but it's not a paraphilia or BDSM.

In all my years in the lifestyle, I have met thousands of fellow lifestylers at conventions, events, parties and munches. But I never once met a money pig or a FinDom in real life! I don't think they exist offline because the real life BDSM community doesn't have that supposed fetish. I have never met a submissive that wanted to drive by a Dommes house and put cash in their mailbox without ever actually meeting her. So . . . as I see it from my experience it's an online fluke, bait and tease for the abundant horde of online horny male subs and tourists.

On the other side of the coin, some of you feel very strongly that forking over a portion of your cash to a dominant entity is valid BDSM fetish. Me, I have already been doing that for years, but never saw it as BDSM . . . it's called paying taxes! As painful as that can be, it's not BDSM and neither are money pigs or FinDoms in my book.

I've waded through the growing presence of posts about "financial domination", ATM cards, arguments and complaints about FinDoms, transparent bullshit posts from Finnies trying to drum up business to the point we can tell what time of the month their rent is due . . . I just couldn't remain quite any longer and I did some research before I got on my soapbox.

Invalid research:
I searched "the psychology of financial domination" but the first few pages of results were ALL fake ads for FinDoms keyword loaded with "cases studies" and other clinical terms or money pigs help groups. Here is the search LINK. All you get is:
What Is Financial Domination? Bullshit article by self promoting Finny Sabina Erotica
Financial Domination Support Group for this "very rare and undocumented addiction"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/overcome_financial_domination
Financial Domination, the psychology of abuse and the Stockholm syndrome. Finny who talks about "case studies" . . . but it's only her pay site.
. . . etc

Sorry gang, FinDoms and money pigs just don't exist in a peer reviewed journal or the real world as far as I can find. Only money pigs and FinDoms can be found claiming it is a valid fetish. I am sure I will be corrected, like the time that errant Wikipedia listing about D/s being in the middle of the BDSM acronym was cited. So bring on the "BDSM actually means D/s" paradigm and all the pretzel logic you can conjure so you can straighten my poor uniformed ass out about how paying taxes to a dominant power and tossing cash at a stripper is different and FinDomery is a real live BDSM fetish.

</end soapbox>

Sources:
The ReviseF65 project: link
Wikipedia: link
Wikipedia: link
Wikipedia: link
American Psychological Association (APA): paraphilia. (n.d.).
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary. Retrieved April 28, 2007, from Dictionary.com: link
DSM-IV-TR The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual published 2000, by the American Psychiatric Association
AAPL, American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law link
Medicine Net link
Jahsonic




< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/12/2015 1:59:28 AM >

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 2:19:37 AM   
ThatDaveGuy69


Posts: 978
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Didn't you know that peer reviewed knowledge means nothing here? It's not up to the professionals -the men and women who spend their entire lives studying psychology- it's up to the mods on this very site as to what constitutes a fetish. They are the Ones Who Decide, not those of us who actually participate in the community/lifestyle. So forget the years of medical school. Forget about the post-grad work. Don't even bother with medical journals. All you need to decide what is, and is not, a real bona fide fetish is admin rights to The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet.

/s


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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 2:41:31 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		^ It actually started with one mod in particular that was pro & a Finny as I recall. She even tried to borrow money from me. But it seems like policy now even though they are gone.

[ETA for clarity] The money pig and Finny phenomena here started when one mod started allowing her friends to post blatant ads soliciting money and credit cards in their profiles, which was a direct TOS violation. Slowly this caught on. I did a traffic flow study for CollarMe 4 years ago (Full 11 page report here) and discovered:

"Collarme.com has more escorts with published rates, phone numbers and links to their reviews on other esocrt listing pay sites than I can count. Without incorporating the numerous other keywords for pros, there are over 700 "financial Dommes" that logged in the past 30 days. 350 of then have been actively maintaining their presence daily."

That is a Finny logging in for business every 4 minutes. And nowadays I am sure there are even more making a living here. To the credit of the new mods, I saw them trash a bullshit Finny forum post earlier tonight. Her profile boasted about how successful CollarSpace was for her and she only wanted clients that would give her ATM cards and joint bank accounts. You know, when I think of BDSM gear, I think MasterCard and Visa . . . don't you?

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/12/2015 3:06:27 AM >

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 2:48:24 AM   
ThatDaveGuy69


Posts: 978
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		To modify and old phrase: Fish, houseguests, and mods get old in a very short time.

Watch for these posts to be removed very shortly...



_____________________________

He said I'd blown a seal. I said fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of this!
What happens in the event horizon STAYS in the Event Horizon!
I have zero tolerance for Zero Tolerance

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 3:38:56 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Money pigs and FinDoms will be validated and real to me when I go to Beyond Leather or Thunder in the Mountains and there up on the stage next to the cross, by the spanking bench, between the stocks and the cage is a fucking ATM machine for Findomery.

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I give good thread.

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 4:21:18 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Wellp... it's kinda like illicit drugs, as long as people demand, there will be a supply.

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 4:27:19 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
I always thought that protecting common prostitutes that had just found a way to "blend in" to our lifestyle was detrimental to our lifestyle and this site, in particular.

That said, the site's policy has turned me around and if a pretty young thing wants to give me a few shekels for writing some e-mails ...



Michael

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 4:29:10 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I'm going to stick with 'is it a fetish' and not go down the CM/CS acceptance because I believe all sites have the right to accept or decline members using a site for profit.

Do I believe financial domination is a fetish? no, I remain unconvinced but then I haven't yet met a fin domme who claims to get sexually excited by the smell or feel of gifted money. Fin dommes tend to have a catalogue of wants that could be anything from fet gear to a new dining table. They exchange their online time for something they want but don't normally need. That want is so unspecific (meaning its not just rubber or silk) that the item itself is unlikely to be related to a sexual fetish. Being gifted for the value of your time could be seen as a kink but not a fetish and I have met women and some men for that matter, who believe or have a need to believe they are worth that. In such a situation each gift would re-confirm their value and feeling valued could in turn make them feel more confident and sexy.

If I was going to be a fin domme it would be for the financial reward but I couldn't do it because I just don't have the time or the patience. That's just me though, we are all different but its something that we will never really understand because no fin Domme on this planet is going to publicly admit they are only in it for the bucks.

Like you RS, I've been around on the scene too long. I've attended workshops and run workshops and I've been involved in the organization of so many fetishes but I have never once seen or heard of a workshop on 'FD' or a munch or gathering for 'FD's' and yet I have known about pro Domme munches and gatherings and I know many pro Dommes who have run workshops and done performances. Fin Dommery is online because it can be and that's why its a fairly new thing to people like you and me! On the real life scene its not present or at least its not visible.



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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 5:31:16 AM   
McCullen


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/9/2015
Status: offline 		I'm all for the "If you can abuse the system do so" If people are dumb enough to pay for something like that then more power to the con artist. It doesn't make it any less fake, Sure they could be called pros seeing as they earn money from it. The truth is all they do is send a few naughty text, emails or talk to someone over the phone/skype in a husky voice.

The slave part is rather complex, It is your job as a Master to take care of and keep your sub/slave in good health and what not so paying them a stipend to do with what they please is the next common ground to that, Unless they have a job already. If that's the case it's up to the Master to do with what they please.

I'd say it's more akin to being a cyber hooker. Just my two cents. It sure as hell isn't a fetish.

As always, Do take care.

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 6:12:26 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Wellp... it's kinda like illicit drugs, as long as people demand, there will be a supply.

I don't expect illegal drugs, bootleg whiskey, prostitution or financial domination to go away. But I wouldn't appreciate dope dealers joining our forums and making posts about how getting high is a BDSM fetish. And until someone that actually knows what the definition of a fetish is and knows WTF they are talking about can actually show me how money pigs and FinDoms practice a fetish, I will have trouble seeing it as a paraphilia.

I see the lure and understand the vehement insistence that it is a BDSM fetish by those that participate. Money pigs will continue to give money to FinDoms so they can pretend or fantasize they are associated to being attached as some girl's property... for a one low price, someone calls them a slave. Nonetheless, "you can stand in the garage, but that doesn't mean you are a car."

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I always thought that protecting common prostitutes that had just found a way to "blend in" to our lifestyle was detrimental to our lifestyle and this site, in particular.

That said, the site's policy has turned me around and if a pretty young thing wants to give me a few shekels for writing some e-mails ...

Michael

I respect prostitution and the adult entertainment industry . . . which is where I believe money pigs and FinDoms fit better than in the BDSM community. I believe the tolerance ("protecting") for TOS profile violations soliciting money in profiles is because it is good for membership on the CollarSpace side. Tons of Finnies posting pretty pics brings in new members. However, having their phoney dogma permeate this side of the site is utter bullshit and I agree that having them here is detrimental. But this side of the site only represented 25% of the traffic in its heyday.... about 40k page hits/day vs the 190k daily hits on the other side. So we remain a secondary consideration when there is a conflict of interests.

We must enjoy our free ride under terms provided... which fortunately includes my freedom to post this soapbox thread. And for that I am grateful. I remained tolerant as long as I could. Having that Findom thread get trashed earlier tonight while I was writing a reply was the straw broke my tolerance... even though I agree that the thread was troll bait and needed to go.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

........I remain unconvinced but then I haven't yet met a fin domme who claims to get sexually excited by the smell or feel of gifted money. Fin dommes tend to have a catalogue of wants that could be anything from fet gear to a new dining table. They exchange their online time for something they want.........

Well said and sex is the core of a paraphilia and what makes it a fetish:
Paraphilia (also known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, or individuals.

Exchanging online time for something they want is like a job, not sexual, not a fetish. And this is where FinDomery does equate quite well to prostitution as DaddySatyr pointed out. The FinDom, like the prostitute, is not motivated by sex and usually gains no sexual gratification. However the prostitute's client, like the money pig, is usually sexually motivated, even if it is sexual ego. Not all prostitute's clients achieve erections or orgasms but they enjoy the sexual contact and attentions, oral or otherwise, anyway. It makes them feel masculine, sexy. So for her it is business, for him it is sexual.

Prostitution is not part of the BDSM community, we don't have hooker's workshops even though paying for sex is a fetish.
Chrematistophilia: sexual arousal from paying for sex or being robbed by one’s sexual partner; see also harpaxophilia
Harpaxophilia: sexual arousal from being the victim of a robbery or burglary; see also chrematistophilia
Perhaps it is for the same reason the Hooker's Ball isn't about BDSM?

Are money pigs buying sex? I mean, is it really one big web cam jerk-fest and FinDom's are doing insertions, masturbation and etc for their slaves? One money pigs says:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vast power of financial domination stems from the way it's deeply wired into ones sex drive and emotions. The fundamental root of the pleasure obtained from submitting to a woman financially resides in the value system. The value system rewards us with pleasure each time one of our values is fulfilled. The value system is designed to prolong and enhance life, but the value system assumes all values are positive and life enhancing. If somehow, intentionally or accidentally, we acquire a negative value (such as the value of submitting financially to a woman), then whenever we fulfill this value, we are rewarded with pleasure. The value system cannot differentiate between a positive value that is meant to enhance our life, and a negative value that restricts our life, so whenever a negative value like submitting financially is triggered, we are rewarded with pleasure as though it were a positive, life enhancing value. This explains why financial domination is so addictive and pleasurable, and why it is so challenging to overcome.

A slaves belief system also holds a big key to the addiction. Whatever one believes about themselves and their world is true to them. When I was a slave I believed that I was worthless, pathetic, a loser, and that women were superior to myself and all men on earth! These beliefs are not the ones someone with genuinely high levels of self-esteem would possess.

These beliefs developed from my inaccurate perception of the world (chiefly how I perceived rejections from women in my early youth), low self-esteem, BDSM and D/s porn (this was a VERY big influencer for me), and from the feminist programming from the media and the world in general.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

According to him, it isn't about a FinDom spread eagle on cam with a variety of insertables. So the Finny isn't selling sex, even if the exchange motivations are much like the exchange between a prostitute and her client, the service rendered is quit different indeed.

I see poor mental health and low esteem but I still don't see a fetish in here anywhere yet.

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 8:53:14 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Really interesting bit of psychology their RS

We do have a guy who turns up at Fem Domme clubs in London. He always brings along a bunch of envelopes stuffed with money and hands them out to Dommes without ever expecting an interaction. Someone once told me that he works hard but lives like a pauper because he gives all his salary away, not just to one Domme but to many. When I first met him I tried to interact with him but he backed off. All he wanted to do was give me the envelope and walk away. I gave him the opened envelope back because shit like that makes me feel very uncomfortable. I didn't think he was a loser as McCullen suggests but someone who desperately needed mental health professionals....I guess he's the nearest thing I will ever meet in the flesh to a 'pay pig'.

Saying that, I don't think all PP's are gullible or in need of psychiatric help. Many fin Dommes do entertain their pay pigs even if it is only online. Whilst a run of the mill guy may sometimes get off or even addicted to personal porn interactions for which they pay good money for, some submissive men will get the same thrill and sense of belonging from online domination even if it does come at a price. Whilst it may not appear to be sexual, its a bit like chastity and I firmly believe that chastity is a very sexual to the person being put in it.



< Message edited by MariaB -- 4/12/2015 8:57:14 AM >

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 8:54:32 AM   
Elnard


Posts: 23
Joined: 11/2/2014
Status: offline 		I've avoided posting on this subject but really don't care what bridges I burn with these people who want nothing more than human atms. I've kept my thoughts on this to myself too long, though I'm still not confident enough to use my actual account.

I finally decided to post here after the most nonsensical profile I've ever seen read something like this:

Sub Men: My time is not free. You will tribute.
Sub Women: Seeking a personal connection and long term relationship.

Not verbatim, but it is ridiculous. Essentially it's such a social stigma attached to submissive straight men combined with the inability for women to recognize effeminate men aren't necessarily gay. Even for bisexual Dommes, lesbian slaves are ok, but if you were born with a penis, you are paying.

If it is by definition a fetish with sexual gratification, then why do we not see these findommes give the money back to subs who don't excite them? Every fetish is based on a subject, even if the relationship is to a non-sexual object. So if everyone's money is good, where is the exclusionary factor that makes it attractive or stimulating?

I'm reminded of the line in The Wire where Clay says something like: "shit if motherfuckers just be giving money away I'll take it"

Which is fine in the world of scamming, but not cool at all when it comes to the male subs who are genuinely looking for a human connection.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 8:55:23 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		my edit button is doing funny things


< Message edited by MariaB -- 4/12/2015 8:56:44 AM >

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 9:00:16 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		I thought you hated this subject!

You can sweep anything under the umbrella of "TPE." For instance cleaning a floor is not a fetish.....

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 4/12/2015 9:01:05 AM >

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 9:36:13 AM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline 		As a moderator and a person that most likely should have just stayed in bed on this Sunday, that's looking like a Monday, I have to cringe. Most likely not for the reasons that might be assumed. It isn't one of those... oh you got me as I hold my chest knowing I just got shot; it isn't one of those, oh shit that's right, exposure can be painful; it isn't one of those, I better go to do PR work, because we need some control of this spin. Nope, it is just one of those, GD, I just got up haven't had any coffee, tired because I was here late watching some shenanigans and I do have a personal life and seemingly I'm about to be punished for it AND I still have some shenanigans to watch and do something about.

All I can say is, just about when something might stand a chance of becoming boring... what is it they say? Yeah, that!

Some of you and I do like ya very much, need to step back and think about where you got your information because along with some truths and you know they are true because they happened to you AND consider the source of that information.

Now, I am not all knowing but I do know some things and I am not allowed to talk. Not because I am covering the butt of an evil doer, but because I am making sure that someone that has nothing at all to do with TOS, or how this site is run, isn't talked about and is someone I can't talk about because of their privacy.

Can I address medical dx or whatever in gods name I woke up to in what is standard, standardized, acceptable, project-able, justifiable, are there any more able things I can add here (?) are not my expertise and I am not going there with a mod hat on?

Nope.

Could I clear a few things up?

Sure and then I would be fired and rightfully so, a couple of you all reading could be really, really pissed and well, I might even have to meet with lawyers and spend some of my benefits of hard work and you don't want to hear about that part because I could start sounding like someone other than who I am.

Just ignore it all, it will pass. Like a fart; that just might stink in my opinion.

There isn't any way I can correct anything that may have been said that may have some truth to it, but then has some things that make me cringe not because they are true, but because I can't explain it and sure as hell wish I could. People seem to be forgetting some things. Then others will show up and think everything is right as can be because of who said it and I would too, but really, where did that information come from? Do you see the spin I'm on? What the hell am I supposed to do?

Let it pass like that stinky fart?

I am not that kind of girl. You fart enough for me to say oh my god, I am going to remind you that you could have walked into a private room and done that. Not, pull my head under the covers and laugh hoping you can push another out at me before I struggle to the surface and then leave your stinky ass.

I can say the following things.

Support is working hard to make sure things go as they should and not many can be invited to work in that area because evil doers could do really bad things to even the good doobies around here.

I try to make sure things don't go too far and you know that it isn't just this site that experiences these things.

Do mods call the shots? Sometimes, sometimes not. Am I powerful... so mighty powerful... that I can do some things. Yes and no. I still have to answer to someone and then there is TOS and mod rules or guidelines and gosh darn it, I'm on that spin again. Pass or fail? Oh hell, somebody just fart and lets call it good.

Will somebody one day hear my story? Would you want to? Of course you would! You would want to hear it to pick it apart or for all the juicy details. No, I'm just a mod in a rock and roll band and I... oh wrong file.

Yes, you are right.
No, that part isn't right, but you are still right.
Should I shut up now?

You got that right. What can I say? Really, what can I say?

A couple of people do what we can and are overwhelmed doing what we can, because we can't just stick people in places and call it good that we have help, because sometimes the help can be a problem and names get named and things get said that people like me can't talk about! Ya see the new spin I can't work here?

To get some of the information shared here, someone had to talk. I can't win. I'm going back to bed after I attend to that other shenanigans after saying... things in the mirror may be distorted and closer than you think.

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RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 10:19:25 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		You're an intelligent man, RS and I get where you are cming from. One thing though. I don't consider anything we do, that falls under a BDSM - D/s - M/s umbrella to BE any form of paraphilia "unless those activities
quote:

cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functing."
ion

Keeping that in mind, a money-pig who can't pay his/her bills because of a need to send his/her income to a fin domme falls more into the category of a paraphillia than someone who likes to get their freak on, but in a way that doesn't harm/impact their every day life. As I understand it engaging in sado/maochistic practices, is not in and of itself diagnosable as being sexually dysfunctional. The reference in the DSM is about Paraphilia being diagnosed if it causes problems in the every day aspects of your life. If you have impaired functioning day to day, because of your sado/masochism, then it might be diagnosable as a paraphilia.

The actual criteria for a diagnosisis is if one acts on their obsessions with a 'non consenting invidual' (sadism) or The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (masochism). And of course, that these problems have occured over a period of more than 6 months.

I am NOT advocating FOR money-pigs or findommes - I haven't met one in real life either. Hell, for that matter, I haven't dealt with any online either as it isn't my thing. I just felt compelled to point out that I don't know if what you are doing is diagnosable as a paraphilia or not but defining what we do AS a paraphilia does not sit well with me.

Much love, and respect and apologies for disagreeing with you

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 4/12/2015 10:20:04 AM >

(in reply to Moderator3)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 10:29:46 AM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I thought you hated this subject!

You can sweep anything under the umbrella of "TPE." For instance cleaning a floor is not a fetish.....

This was going to be a fast reply, but no such luck.

There's a bunch of stuff I don't consider to be BDSM, a "legitimate" fetish or kink, or not "real" D/s.

Some of it I see as stemming from untreated mental illness or severe personality disorders finding a petri dish in the form of BDSM to proliferate unchecked like vastly multiplying spores.

But who am I to make this decision for another besides myself, and to follow my own moral compass to the best of my ability? Where there is mutual consent, where a friend or somebody close to me whom I feel protective about isn't involved, I need to resign myself to minding my own business in a nutshell.

Now, having said that, I'll add that any man coming (no pun intended) anywhere whether it's on line or in person, sexually objectifying women and expecting them to provide them with something for nothing like a cad and a tool, is the one with the exploitative mentality from the very start.

Wanting a warm (female) body to be their fetish and kink delivery system without any relationship commitment to offer, not being able to get or keep a woman that they would have to undergo the PROCESS OF DATING OUT IN THE VANILLA WORLD, sneaking around with married women who advertise on Craigslist, is no different than running into a vanilla gold-digger or shelling out bucks to show off your latest arm candy. Are vanilla "fetishes" legitimate? Swinging, wife-swapping, open marriages and cuckolding have been around long before BDSM (possibly) and paraphilia classifications.

What I dislike about this whole sordid business, OP, is that it doesn't help the cause of non-mercenary Dominant women who still get treated like someone's dirty little secret. Being a "lifestyle" Domme has become a joke of sorts, in a couple of ways. This isn't an open lifestyle more often than not. Being in demand to provide (free no-strings-attached) Topping services or having Topping skills to scratch random men's itch-gratification doesn't make for the private D/s lifestyle that (female led) relationship-oriented women seek. A separate, but interrelated topic.

DreamLady

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 11:26:29 AM   
JuicerSales


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/12/2015
Status: offline 		Buy my juicers!!!!!!!!!!

Of course it's a real fetish just like selling juicers!

Buy my juicers!!!!!!!!!!

This isn't spam advertising because it's my really real fetish!!!!!!!!!!

Buy my juicers!!!!!!!!!!






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(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 11:29:08 AM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline 		!

Could you make that a tad bit smaller, because I would hate to have to delete your Juicer!

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(in reply to JuicerSales)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soa... - 4/12/2015 11:33:05 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3315
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Maybe he should make his juicer picture the same size as a sock.

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Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Moderator3)
Profile   Post #: 20
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