RE: Slave vs submissive

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RE: Slave vs submissive - 7/15/2006 9:14:16 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

At what point should you consider your self more a slave then just one how likes to be overly submissive?

For me it came at the point in the relationship that I shared with Himself when I realized that I had neither the will power nor the desire to leave the relationship at all. We had been Dom/sub for about 6 years at that point .. and I knew, literally, the instant the change took place and we were Master/slave from that point on. It was when the fullness of the power he has over me manifested itself by my inability to be able to resist it.

quote:

As one who has little intrest in sex at all, should I let this sway what "catagory" I consider my self in?

I guess I don't understand the use of the word 'sway' .. you are or you are not. It's not something which you just decide.. it's more something you feel, so with that in mind, I would say that sex or the lack thereof has nothing to do with whether or not I am a slave.

quote:

In not having sex im I closing off a doorway that could teach me a ton about my feelings on the subject, or am I saving my self from much cofussion and pain?

You may be if you are compatible with a dominant who desires such and it's not something you want .. only you can really answer that question though.

quote:

In short is the pain worth the gain?

What you get out of it is directly related to what you put in. Again, only you can decide if it's worthwhile.

quote:

Why is it that the most common view I seem to find that doms have on the subject is "Submissive ppl are just ones who havent found the right dom to make them a slave."?

I don't find it's all that common, but if it is, it's an individual thing based on a single person's perception/opinion. You don't have to buy it if you don't want to.. again, it's up to you how you choose to express yourself and live your life.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to peacefulservant)

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RE: Slave vs submissive - 7/15/2006 11:54:17 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2
It would be, if you could ask three different people how to define a word so simple as slave, and not get four different and very spirited definitions of the same word.

You are indeed correct, but regardless of the interpretations, some souls do in fact honor and live out its actual meaning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2
Obvious is a word that is usually used in the context of BDSM when somebody really means "I'm right, and you ain't."

That was not how it was intended, but nonetheless my points remain.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

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Post #: 22

RE: Slave vs submissive - 7/16/2006 4:51:48 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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Sorry for a potential hijacking, but Celeste may i ask, prior to this moment, did you identify yourself as a slave? The reason i ask is this, i have been classified (by my ex-Dom) as heavily submissive with slave-like tendencies and i use that classification when i am asked as it does seem to sum up my current "status" or "place" at the moment.

Thank you.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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Post #: 23

RE: Slave vs submissive - 7/16/2006 8:27:37 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Sorry for a potential hijacking, but Celeste may i ask, prior to this moment, did you identify yourself as a slave?

Oh no. Prior to that, I laughed at those who called themselves a slave. Didn't believe in the possibility, and pretty much believed that anyone who 'thought' they were a slave was delusional. In fact, beyond that.. I brandished my rapier and tried to save them from themselves! The poor dears had been brainwashed by unscrupulous characters, had no self-esteem and there was NO WAY I fell into that category. I've eaten some humble pie since then.

The thing is, I do what I do .. it's what I've always done. There is absolutely nothing that's changed expect my attitude and my realization of the relationship which I have with Himself.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

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Post #: 24

RE: Slave vs submissive - 7/16/2006 11:40:18 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: champagnewishes

quote:

Why is it that the most common view I seem to find that doms have on the subject is "Submissive ppl are just ones who havent found the right dom to make them a slave."?

sincerely your peacefull servant.

A little Dom ego at work perhaps...i'm sure many truly feel this way. I would not consider it a reliable statistical fact however.

first... peaceful servant... I don't believe that it is a common view that "submissive people are just ones have haven't found the right dome to make them a slave"

secondly... I don't think it is necessarily Dom ego.. thou in alot of cases I think you will be right. However, as Improbable as it is ... I do understand why some people believe that submissive people are just slaves that haven't found the right Dom. and here is why.

First... the underlying belief is based on the concept that a Slave is a person that gives all authority/control to the Master.

Second... A Slave gives all authority because of many reasons... but one of those reasons is the understanding that the Masters limits are completely inline with that of the slave. Meaning... as a submissive who finds a Dominant who's limits are exactly the same as the slave would never be challenged to take an action that would be against their limits. Therefore, the belief is based on the concept that limits are completely in lined and this allows a person to give all authority/contro to the Master. This to me is a highly unlikely ever to occur....but it does occur.

so... is the person a slave? Are they a slave if they know that their Master will never ask them to do something that is a limit to their ability/nature? Many justify themselves as slaves because they believe the Master will never cross certain limits. Many Masters justify their partner as a slave because they will not ask their partner to do things that will cause them to fail/refuse. Personally, I don't see such individuals as being in a Master/slave relationship. I actually see them in a D/s relationship that is in complete balance.

Now for my thoughts

I believe that a slave is a person that gives complete authority/control to the Master.

I also believe that a Master is a person that will use a slave in any way they desire without cause harm to the slave or others by that use.

It may appear that the two situations are identical. However that is not the case. and here is why. People change... limits change etc etc. In a D/s relationship that is in complete balance it is going to come out of balance due to the constant growth and change of people. Sooner or later the pressure will occur that will require one of two possibilities....

1 ... the Master will ask the slave to take action and the slave will say no... causing the relationship to end...or negotiation to occur and a limit on the Master imposed by the slave. Thus showing the relationship to be D/s rather than M/s

2.. the Master will not ask the slave to take action because of the belief that the slave will say no... and completely avoid the situation would result in option 1... thus.. the Master would hid the fact that the M/s is only an illusion.

In a Master/slave relationship.... the Master will always tell the slave to take action if that is what the Master wishes. The Master will never! not ask because of fear or concern that the slave will say no. In fact... the Master always expects the slave always to say YES. Secondly, the slave will always say "YES" It maybe great if the slave is never challenged on some aspects... but regardless the devotion of the slave is such that short of causing harm to themself or others... the slave will always say "yes" to the will of the Master. The slave understands that the Master's Limits can and do change. But, in truth what the limits of the Master are is of little importance to the slave. What is of importance is the following the "Will of the Master" Their is very few individuals like this... and even fewer individuals that will use a person in all ways they desire too.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to champagnewishes)

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Post #: 25

RE: Slave vs submissive - 7/16/2006 12:17:21 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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Thank you.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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Post #: 26