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RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 8:50:54 PM   
Wayward5oul


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

Oh, I like pussyboy. I will need to add that to my repertoire.


Pussyboy likes you too. You seem to be a perfect fit for each other.

Ooh, getting a little personal, aren't we? After all, you know nothing of Pussyboy and me.

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 9:26:43 PM   
DerangedUnit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOfLeisure3

I cannot fathom why a Dom would take on a brat and then proceed with attempts to exorcise such behavior. Why on earth do some Doms do this? You know what we are and what we do, if that was appealing to you when you took us on then, why has your opinion changed? Is the draw for you the challenge to turning your brat into a zombie? I simply cannot wrap my mind around it.


I have another point I thought to add...

I think people have a hard time distinguishing between not controlling others and giving up control.

It was always super easy for me to not control others. I want them to be who they are and do my best to not interfere unless a pretty please is involved. But I never give up control. I am very solitary in my thought process, my life continues regardless of other people. For example, say daddy usually brings lunch... one day he doesnt, I dont ask where lunch is...I go get my own lunch. He clogs the toilet, I dont ask him to fix it I do it and continue as normal.

How does this tie back into the question? This is how:

Most people rely on others actions to make their move, they don't think about what they want, they think about stopping the other person from getting what they want.

Example time. A dom gets a slave(ok fine it's me im bad at coming up with examples) he wants to get laid, that much is obvious but he tells the slave he doesn't find her attractive.... why? Because he cares more that she feels inferior than he cares about getting what he wants.

This. This right here is what I find to be completely irrational behavior.

To take something happy and try to make it miserable even if it means to forgo your chance of getting what you want isn't just pointless... it's completely backwards.

Not getting what you want doesn't make you look superior. having to lie and make obvious attempts at manipulation makes you look too weak to actually get what you want and too stupid to even know what that is.

The point being, a relationship shouldn't involve two people trying to see who can ruin the other more(I played that way a long time and nothing ever comes of it but a list of self endorsed "wins"). If one person is happy joking around and playing pranks, their partner should find it entertaining.

A relationship isn't about trying to make someone else miserable, it's about trying to make yourself happy.

(in reply to LadyOfLeisure3)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 9:43:22 PM   
RemoteUser


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I can't fathom breaking a brat, myself.

There are brats who want to play bratty to get funishment.
There are brats who are bratty by nature simply because they have an amazing sardonic streak.
There are brats who sincerely want to bother other people as a form of inflicted sadism.

One thing I do know, is that is there is a point where the brattiness creates an atmosphere we can both enjoy (i.e. funishment), it's all well and good. If she does it and then gets seriously indignant about "having her fun interrupted", then she's a variant of sadist that would not work out well with me, and off I would go. No breaking required, just common sense.


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 9:54:33 PM   
daniel1973


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

Ooh, getting a little personal, aren't we? After all, you know nothing of Pussyboy and me.


Absolutely. After all I don't know much about you but I seem do want to do Pussyboy.

(in reply to Wayward5oul)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 10:04:37 PM   
DerangedUnit


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Im of the belief(now both genders will probably feel the hairs on the back of their neck raise at this... though for different reasons) that no one, especially women, are naturally sadistic/cruel/hard... whatever you want to call it. I believe it's learned.

In that sense, leaving, while it's what I do the second anyone tries to manipulate me to no end(or block as the internet goes) is counterintuitive. When leaving you(i always use general yous) think "well maybe that will give them some time to think about their actions" ...they think " ha I won!"

Now at that point no one is thinking about what is in the best interest of the party that just tried to screw them over. But that is exactly the only thing that would change their behavior. Someone having their best interest at heart. Knowing that no matter what someone has their back, will defend them... well that's the quickest way, the only way to get rid of defensive behavior. Beating just teach them to hide it better.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 10:07:57 PM   
daniel1973


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Funishment, great! I can tell you for real that any kind of trying to get my master to react in some way would result in a break up.
I have a fetish for corporal punishment but we developed a way for me to not like it the least little bit!

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 10:38:00 PM   
RemoteUser


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

In that sense, leaving, while it's what I do the second anyone tries to manipulate me to no end(or block as the internet goes) is counterintuitive. When leaving you(i always use general yous) think "well maybe that will give them some time to think about their actions" ...they think " ha I won!"


If you don't want to play the game, the winner of said game is irrelevant.

I'm good with letting people "win" at things that don't matter. If it's just a game in their head, you probably wouldn't want to play it anyhow.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 10:40:34 PM   
RemoteUser


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

I can tell you for real that any kind of trying to get my master to react in some way would result in a break up.


Well of course. His rules, his way. Isn't that the point?

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 10:40:38 PM   
Wayward5oul


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

In that sense, leaving, while it's what I do the second anyone tries to manipulate me to no end(or block as the internet goes) is counterintuitive. When leaving you(i always use general yous) think "well maybe that will give them some time to think about their actions" ...they think " ha I won!"


If you don't want to play the game, the winner of said game is irrelevant.

I'm good with letting people "win" at things that don't matter. If it's just a game in their head, you probably wouldn't want to play it anyhow.

Good things to think about from both of you. Sometimes I need to be reminded of this myself.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 10:59:22 PM   
DerangedUnit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

In that sense, leaving, while it's what I do the second anyone tries to manipulate me to no end(or block as the internet goes) is counterintuitive. When leaving you(i always use general yous) think "well maybe that will give them some time to think about their actions" ...they think " ha I won!"


If you don't want to play the game, the winner of said game is irrelevant.

I'm good with letting people "win" at things that don't matter. If it's just a game in their head, you probably wouldn't want to play it anyhow.


I suppose I just have a soft spot for games in there somewhere. I spent too many years defining myself by what I could make others do. If I could make THEM angry. If I could make THEM happy. If I could make THEM cry. Some part of me doesn't want to see all the "conquests" as a waste.

But they are kinda like heroin. You feel great doing it, but after you look like shit.

And I don't know many people who look back upon intravenous drug use fondly so I suppose I should shake that perception

(in reply to RemoteUser)
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RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/19/2015 11:11:24 PM   
daniel1973


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

His rules, his way. Isn't that the point?


Yes Sir, of course it is. I still don't understand how he does it though.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 3:41:27 AM   
NookieNotes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
I'm confused...definitions can be scientific or non-scientific. What is this referring to?


No they can't. The definition of a definition is that a definition is the definition of the definition.


Here, you're just wrong. And hypocritical. If you allow for personal definitions, like the one above, then you calling me out for personally defining a subset of behavior myself is pure hypocrisy. If you do not, then offering one is the hypocrisy.

From Dictionary.com:

definition
[def-uh-nish-uh n]
noun
1. the act of defining, or of making something definite, distinct, or clear: We need a better definition of her responsibilities.
2. the formal statement of the meaning or significance of a word, phrase, idiom, etc., as found in dictionaries. An online dictionary resource, such as Dictionary.com, can give users direct, immediate access to the definitions of a term, allowing them to compare definitions from various dictionaries and stay up to date with an ever-expanding vocabulary.
3. the condition of being definite, distinct, or clearly outlined: His biceps have great muscle definition.
4. Optics. sharpness of the image formed by an optical system.
5. Radio and Television. the accuracy of sound or picture reproduction.

THAT is the definition of a definition.

And yet, even dictionaries can disagree in small aspects of what words mean, or how to phonetically show how they are pronounced.

From Google:

def·i·ni·tion
ˌdefəˈniSH(ə)n/
noun
1. a statement of the exact meaning of a word, especially in a dictionary.
an exact statement or description of the nature, scope, or meaning of something.
"our definition of what constitutes poetry"
synonyms: meaning, denotation, sense; More
interpretation, explanation, elucidation, description, clarification, illustration
"the definition of “intelligence”"
the action or process of defining something.
2. the degree of distinctness in outline of an object, image, or sound, especially of an image in a photograph or on a screen.
synonyms: clarity, visibility, sharpness, crispness, acuteness; More
resolution, focus, contrast
"the definition of the picture"
the capacity of an instrument or device for making images distinct in outline.
"we've been pleased with the definition of this TV"

According to Google, I was simply using this part of their definition: "interpretation, explanation, elucidation, description, clarification, illustration" to explain how I personally see differences in people often labeled as brats, and give them different labels.

After all, if we're going to quibble, calling an adult a brat (within the lifestyle or not) is not exactly dictionary-approved. For both options online use "child" as a primary definer:

Google: a child, typically a badly behaved one.
Dictionary.com: a child, especially an annoying, spoiled, or impolite child (usually used in contempt or irritation).

So, by using the term in any way applied to an adult, you are creating your own personal definitions and using them to describe the world based on your observations and experiences.

quote:

Being dominant doesn't make you smart or educated or wise for that matter. Being submissive does not make you stupid either.


Nobody said either of these things.

Why would you take insult from things that don't even exist?

quote:

I do, however, have an idea that some people claim their dominance as a way of getting away with their lack of character or willingness to work.


I would agree with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Haha! I love that. I have often called my slave a brat, but she is really a smart ass... and, of course I've called her that too... or rather, asked her the question "You know what smart asses get?" to which she replies "Asses that smart" :)


Brilliant! I may have to borrow that for a few irascible SASs I know. *grins*


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit
I think people have a hard time distinguishing between not controlling others and giving up control.

It was always super easy for me to not control others. I want them to be who they are and do my best to not interfere unless a pretty please is involved. But I never give up control. I am very solitary in my thought process, my life continues regardless of other people.


This is brilliant. Exactly so.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser
If you don't want to play the game, the winner of said game is irrelevant.

I'm good with letting people "win" at things that don't matter. If it's just a game in their head, you probably wouldn't want to play it anyhow.


Sometimes, I like to play the game and the winner is still irrelevant. Maybe because it's a cooperative game. Maybe because the game is the fun part, and it's about me measuring my skills against me, not against my opponent.

Games in other people's heads are all theirs to win or lose. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

*grins*

_____________________________

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(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 11:43:23 AM   
daniel1973


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


Sometimes, I like to play the game and the winner is still irrelevant. Maybe because it's a cooperative game. Maybe because the game is the fun part, and it's about me measuring my skills against me, not against my opponent.


The way I see it (and you can be sure that my master agrees, otherwise he wouldn't let me write this) is that the game is rigged against me. I am guaranteed to lose, the only way I can make a good impression is to keep it up as long as possible.

(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 11:59:10 AM   
NookieNotes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


Sometimes, I like to play the game and the winner is still irrelevant. Maybe because it's a cooperative game. Maybe because the game is the fun part, and it's about me measuring my skills against me, not against my opponent.


The way I see it (and you can be sure that my master agrees, otherwise he wouldn't let me write this) is that the game is rigged against me. I am guaranteed to lose, the only way I can make a good impression is to keep it up as long as possible.



That's your Master's way. And ONE way of doing things.

I can even enjoy that game, sometimes. Usually with a SAS. In fact, I have several sub friends that are more than happy to help with this game, by throwing their fellow SASs under the bus for me. That is just play for me. Fun.

Most of the time, however, I do not rig. If I cannot get what I need out of a game without rigging it, I don't want it. I earn my place, as I should.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 1:28:05 PM   
daniel1973


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

That's your Master's way. And ONE way of doing things.


Of course, we're happy with each other and what other people do is none of our business. I just want to share a positive experience and how it came to pass.

quote:


by throwing their fellow SASs under the bus for me. That is just play for me. Fun.


That's exactly the difference I'm trying to point out. My master puts me through hell sometimes although he doesn't like to see me suffer.
Throwing me under the bus is not an option, though. When I go "Aaaagh, please stop Sir!" it's just right for me. But I can always be assured that it's safe.



(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 1:32:03 PM   
MariaB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you can hold a job without telling your boss to go fuck himself, then you should be able to refrain from using such phrases at home.


This made me laugh and its the line I want to go with.

Bratting is a fantasy. Some people deliberately brat because they want to be treated like a naughty school girl, others brat because it amuses the dominant whilst others brat because they want the fantasy of being trained not to. The reality is, most brats within a relationship are not brats to the rest of the world. Most brats have self control when needed/required and the majority probably never behaved like brats until it became part of their fantasy.

A brat who picks a dominant who wishes to seduce them into submission is merely a brat who wants that. The man sees her as a challenge and the brat is happy to give him that challenge.




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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 1:56:01 PM   
daniel1973


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you can hold a job without telling your boss to go fuck himself, then you should be able to refrain from using such phrases at home.


I actually got my boss fired!

quote:


Some people deliberately brat because they want [...] the fantasy of being trained not to.


It is possible! I wanted to not brat to my master and longed for him to teach me not to. He made it happen for me. The lengths he had to go to inform me of how much he cares for me.


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 8:20:10 PM   
JVoV


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It doesn't matter what games my boy plays, I win. Because I say so.

My one true brat would even pout and tell me "you cheat". Yup.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 8:37:40 PM   
daniel1973


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV
My one true brat would even pout and tell me "you cheat". Yup.


Man you put up with that. My master wouldn't, ever.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The Breaking of a Brat - 7/20/2015 9:04:17 PM   
JVoV


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Every dynamic is unique, as are the rules for every relationship.

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 60
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