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Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom?


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Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/17/2015 2:43:44 PM   
Kayleigh133


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I know each Dom will have his own preferences how he would like his sub to behave, however I wanted to see if there were some universal themes in what a dominant man looks for?
Would you consider telling me the top 5 behaviors/rules you have for your sub?
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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 1:03:07 PM   
petitespot


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From the sub point of view...
Only one rule. Do what he says and do it with joy.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 1:14:46 PM   
Kana


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Serve, please, obey.
No need for more. Those cover everything.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 1:28:15 PM   
stef


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

I know each Dom will have his own preferences how he would like his sub to behave, however I wanted to see if there were some universal themes in what a dominant man looks for?

Ask what they like/expect. Ask what they dislike. Do the former, avoid the latter.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 3:19:05 PM   
spellslave


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Communicate.

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Fetlife: spellslave

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 3:38:53 PM   
ResidentSadist


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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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1. Obey
2, 3, 4 & 5: See #1

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 4:08:07 PM   
Kayleigh133


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Funny. I've heard that more then you can imagine.
"OBEY"
I feel it would be so much easier with an exact checklist rather then a blanket statement

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 4:09:23 PM   
Kayleigh133


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Can anyone explain to me about a sub:Dom contract and if you personal have one- was if helpful?

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 4:22:17 PM   
petitespot


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Maybe obeying is the key to a successful dom/sub relationship and that's why it shows up so much.
As for contracts...I think they're bullshit. This is not a job. It's a relationship.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 4:55:10 PM   
RockaRolla


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Checklists tend to be static, relationships not so much. Blanket statements can be more useful than set in stone rules for this reason.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/18/2015 5:20:40 PM   
UllrsIshtar


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

Funny. I've heard that more then you can imagine.
"OBEY"
I feel it would be so much easier with an exact checklist rather then a blanket statement


Checklists are only applicable when what he wants you to do is the same thing every time. When that's not the case they're useless.

There's a difference between a Dom who wants you to "always wear high heels and no panties", versus one who wants to lay out the clothes he wants you to wear every morning, versus one who doesn't give a fuck what you wear as long as your choice of clothing doesn't impede with his plans for the day (ie, no high heels when a hike is planned).

In two out of 3 of those cases, a checklist would be useless.

All three of them would still want you to obey though.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/19/2015 12:36:54 AM   
stef


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

Funny. I've heard that more then you can imagine.
"OBEY"
I feel it would be so much easier with an exact checklist rather then a blanket statement

Sorry, but there's no cheat sheet for life.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/19/2015 1:36:24 AM   
DerangedUnit


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Daddy says "the disobedient children are the ones who make the most money" and that leaks over into how the relationship works as well, he expects me to challenge him, gets a twinkle in his eye when I'm unpredictable. Rules are more suggestions... I dont have to listen but he'll let me know if there is something he likes.

I think most doms dont actually know what they want from you they just want you complient in case they think of something *rolls eyes* the equivalent of saying "uh im going to sit here and watch tv but you better behave!"... if you do leave them alone all the time like they ask then they start peaking around corners to see what you are doing, get more and more frustrated, until everything is a curt responce, then get rid of you.

They expect you to not listen so they have something to respond to. They dont know how to act as a solitary individual and base their responses off of their own actions. When they tell you to be good they expect you to crawl back over and say "um sir I made a mess *pout*" or "but look how wet I am please play with me" so that they can have an excuse to be mad at you.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/19/2015 1:47:03 AM   
DerangedUnit


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Ive had contracts before, not currently. Usually for me they would outline a goal on part of both parties, a challenge. And the rules to abide by for both parties. If someone broke the rules they forfeit. So not traditional in the sense that clause one states im your property forever yada yada... but he made a claim, I made a claim, we see who wins.

The last one I accepted was I would stay there without running away or calling it quits for 6 months unless he forfeited, no rules as to what he could do to me, my day was planned out in morning, midday, and evening rituals and his challenge was he said he would fuck me up the ass(my original response was to laugh and say you can try) I signed over power of attorney, and signed consent waivers, and liability waivers(i doubt any of which would hold up in court) and we began.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/19/2015 4:35:58 AM   
InHisHeart


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I agree with those who said obey. Our daily life isn't so routine and rigid that I would need a checklist or that a checklist would do us any good.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/19/2015 11:11:21 AM   
WickedestDesires


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I believe 3 scenarios exist
There are no rules nor guide lines. Therefore, together, write & discover your own.
Do as he says – I myself do not truly understand that one. Unless I crave a 4am muffin, or to watch you walk around the block, naked, at 3am making cooing noises.
Stereotypes exist in vast abundance and the knowledge they have accumulated and the hows & where from shivers

Nope. No idea what a contract is - well I do - and their origin's see point 3.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/20/2015 3:17:15 PM   
DesFIP


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Make sure the dom you're with is one who genuinely likes you as is. That way he's going to be pleased by you being your authentic self.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/20/2015 3:19:57 PM   
RockaRolla


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A sub asking for basic guidelines to please her Dom is like a guy asking for basic guidelines to please a woman.

Noble intentions, I'm sure, but every woman is going to be different and there's no handbook to follow to make things "easier." It also leads to guys getting frustrated their woman won't respond the way women are supposed to to certain stimuli, and think something's wrong with her.

Same goes for Doms. Communicate and obey. That's all you have to do.

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/20/2015 3:41:29 PM   
UllrsIshtar


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Make sure the dom you're with is one who genuinely likes you as is. That way he's going to be pleased by you being your authentic self.


Agreed, if that's what you're looking for.

For me it wouldn't work. I seek to be with Doms who expect me to be better than I can be on my own. If they would be satisfied with my authentic self I'd be bored with them. I want to be pushed.

However, to Des' point, I seek to be with Doms who's view of what they think I ought to be is in line with my view of what I ought to be.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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RE: Basic Guidilines for a sub to please her Dom? - 8/20/2015 8:08:32 PM   
DesFIP


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And if they disapproved of everything about you? If they sought someone they could totally change? Because those types are out there and a relationship with one of them never lasts.

There are doms out there who still hold some view of a long past partner as the ideal, without realizing that that relationship failed for a reason. And they get upset when the new partner doesn't respond the way the past one did. Recipe for disaster, that.

I prefer to be seen and known for myself, knowing that he chose me because he genuinely likes me and enjoys being with me. Not to be viewed as a tabula rasa. YMMV.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 8/20/2015 8:12:11 PM >


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