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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 2:20:52 AM

Lucylastic

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consent in kink for me is needed, even non consent-consent.
consent is sexy...but not a "kink" JMNSHO

I was responding to curmudgeonly in as much as yes this may be a kink site, it may have sex, penii and vag's flashing all over the shop, and exhibitionism in it, it may have domination submission and master slave, FLR and all in between, but pushing someone into giving over pictures against her will/feelings doesnt mean she should oblige because she is on a kink site.

YMMV
Good Mornin!

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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 2:45:09 AM

Cell

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And good evening to you lol

Hmmm, I find obedience sexy myself, not really consent. I would probably keep the pics of the clothed variety until the relationship became a RL thing, but I do get why some women new to this kind of thing would kinda feel compelled to do as their told. Ya know, they want to make the guy happy because they have an idea in their head already about what he could be like. Kinda like how strong silent types are pretty appealing, because of what they don't say lol. Lots of silence for the chick to fill in the blanks with her fantasy =P

This unknown quality of the potential guy sets up the uncertainty, some people see it as naive and it is kinda, but I understand it so I probably wouldn't even ask for naked pics online, but after the relationship is RL you better believe I'm getting those pics, because after that point, they ain't your boobs anymore. They're mine >=D
(Saying 'you' and 'your' generically)

OP, meet first... meat later.

< Message edited by Cell -- 1/14/2016 3:13:01 AM >

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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 3:12:03 AM

Lucylastic

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Oh ...I have no problems with sending pics in a "RL" situation. I agree obedience is sexy, but I dont need random obedience to get off. (not saying that you do)

There are plenty of women who do it, and have done it, as well as believing that you have to submit to anything and everything you are told by someone you are chatting to, it is not unusual.. leaving your brain in a basket by the door while you send nekid pics has been a problem since the interweb started.
Not just for women, sub or dom.

Ive demanded more than my fair share of pics of my ex, and got them.

Forgot you are in a different time zone:)
have a good evening

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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 3:33:15 AM

Cell

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Random obedience?

< Message edited by Cell -- 1/14/2016 3:34:31 AM >

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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 3:40:15 AM

Lucylastic

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hmmmm that may sound worse than I meant.
my bad..
I mean a parade of submissives who will say or do anything to get your attention..
Not meant as a personal slight to anyone.

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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 3:55:25 AM

Cell

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I don't need it either. Would be nice though @_@

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RE: Just using me? - 1/14/2016 9:05:19 AM

CodeOfSilence

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Voyerism and exhibitionism is not compatible with consent of those viewing it.
In fact the whole point is the reaction of people who havent consented to it.

So you'd have to say that these sexual deviances are either wrong or you'll have to accept their consequences. I really have no opinion but some of the things I've been told that are posted by a small percentage to others would have me freak out. Of course they are cowards doing it online, without any reprimand or consequences or even genuine reactions being possible but then the internet is full of cowards.

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RE: Just using me? - 1/17/2016 2:31:51 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rosemary120
One has also wanted to meet in a matter of 2 months. I feel wary now, like its too rushed. Advice?

I am experienced in meeting with alot of men from online for sexual purposes. My own sexual purposes anyway. My rules are, No compromises. Unless the man is gonna fulfill 100% of what I want. And hopefully what I want is what he wants too, then, I know it's gonna be a great time for us both. Otherwise, no point compromising at all. The world is your oyster. I've learnt that if you are patient, you will meet your compatibility.

I personally have this thing where, there are some people, I can meet within 24 hours of talking to them comfortably, and my senses was usually quite good on this and usually it works out pretty well. And there are people where it could take 2 years of online conversation before I am comfortable enough to meet them.

I have learnt from meeting online people a long long time ago that, there is no point rushing the meet if you don't feel 100% comfortable.

Also, personally for me, the more I am not 100% comfortable, dragging the meeting as long as possible, actually brings up more red flags that I didn't catch in the first few conversations, and most of the time, I am glad I waited and in the end never bothered even meeting the person. I like to provoke the person a little to test him a little. Because one of my biggest rule is, I do not meet anybody with a temperament that scares me. If he can't control himself online, I think I will be in danger with him in his physical presence. I have great fear of men with tempers and will stay far far away from any men who have no control over himself. There is something about the anonymity of online interaction that can easily bring out the worst in people, where people will be more well behaved in real life interaction, so...., I usually use this to my full advantage in assessing someone. In real life, they would be too well behaved and easily controlled to my liking. Through online, they are less, you can easily get to the real person.

As physical appearance to alot of extent does not matter to me, as long as he meets my age, weight and height criteria. I usually do not care how he looks like.

So you're a woman, trust your gut, and trust yourself and your own judgement. If he doesn't feel comfortable, chances are, your spider senses are correct in that assessment. Some men can be nice guys but just simply not right for you too, and could lead to you feeling discomfort with him. You aren't losing out in not meeting him.

So this is a little bit of a different perspective from those who believe meet ASAP.

The only thing, you will meet alot of men who will lose interest fast if you refuse to meet at his time line. You have to be okay with this and not feel pressured by it.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/17/2016 2:40:42 AM >

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RE: Just using me? - 2/18/2016 5:50:11 AM

FirmestHand

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

Voyerism and exhibitionism is not compatible with consent of those viewing it.
In fact the whole point is the reaction of people who havent consented to it.

That may be true in some cases, but it's not necessarily true. You could be a voyeur or exhibitionist in a bdsm club, for example, where others are there for the same or complementary reasons.

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RE: Just using me? - 2/18/2016 9:46:14 PM

theHouseofAvalon

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Curmudgeonly1

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

Unfortunately you are going to find a lot of people asking your for such pictures. It is not this site, it is every site. Tell them to get lost. No respectable Dom will ask you to do that. Do not let anyone bully you by email (or in person). Take your time. Do not meet with anyone until you are comfortable doing so.

This is a kink site and I always thought that exhibitionism and voyuerism were quite legit kinks. As are domination and submission.

But what the hey, MKIOK, YKINOK.

Quite right.

To the OP, relax. Don't overthink this. Instead, enjoy the experience.

You might just go ahead and meet the local guy over lunch and enjoy lunch with him. Worse thing that can happen is you enjoy a free lunch and get some experience with meeting CM contacts.

Honestly, don't let sending pictures get you down. You won't be the first girl (no pun intended) to do so. If you think sending pictures was the wrong thing then just chalk it up to experience and don't send anymore. If you decide you want to anyway then enjoy doing so.

Myself, I've never asked for pictures. When I was meeting the ladies from here, if we hit it off, and we always did, she would be in her birthday suit bound to the bed soon enough, at least in a week or so anyway at the latest. Pictures are not needed when I can taste her.

So given successful Doms get the real goods while the fakes are left wanking over pictures, then if a guy asks for nude pictures figure they will not meet you, I would think. But maybe you like guys perving on your pictures and there's nothing wrong with that if you enjoy it.

Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Just be prudent but "worry not your pretty head." This is not supposed to be stressful. Kinky. Maybe life changing for the better. But not stressful.

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RE: Just using me? - 3/2/2016 9:23:00 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rosemary120

The last few guys ive talked to have wanted me to send pictures and videos, mainly sexual. Im wondering if theyre just using me and not wanting something real like they said.

A fair proportion of the guys here will be after a wank. Don't send sexual videos and pictures to someone until you're comfortable.

quote:

One has also wanted to meet in a matter of 2 months. I feel wary now, like its too rushed. Advice?

Hmm... do you want something "real"? And if you feel that "real" is face to face, then 2 months actually seems like rather a long time to me. If I'm getting on with someone, I'd be looking to meet for a cuppa way beyond 2 months have elapsed.

Note I said "cuppa" - not "full on kinkeh naughtiness".

Personally, if there wasn't enough of a connection for someone to want to have a vanilla meet within two weeks, I'd probably move on.

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RE: Just using me? - 3/3/2016 5:09:13 PM

StrongSpirit

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1) Wanting to see you naked is not unusual, but it is not something you should agree to do until you are ready.

2) You also said "meet in a matter of 2 months. I feel wary now, like its too rushed. Advice? "

If you don't want to meet after two entire months of communicating YOU are the problem, not him. That is not 'rushed', but instead is glacially slow. You are the using them for your own online fantasies, and you are not serious about being real. Just meet them already in a public place.

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