quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

I did "indulge her"

No you didn't.

You attempted to indulge her by doing what you thought she'd want.

You were wrong. What she wanted is for you to do something else. Apparently indulging her would have been keeping her up and treating her as a slave, because that's what she really wanted.

My point is, you'll never get anywhere with her if you are going to attempt to indulge her, precisely because you can't read her mind, and are going to guess wrong as to what it is that will actually indulge her.

What you should do instead if be a good leader.

You should make decisions based on what you think is the best thing for the both of you, and then tell her that you expect your decisions obeyed, even if they do not indulge her.
If she's submissive, she'll fall in line with what you want at that point, and you will have indulged her desire to submit to you by commanding her in no uncertain terms.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

I do not exist on earth to read everyone of your threads and posts.@newatdis, or anyone elses. But it would be nice if you could tidy them up in a oner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

I didnt get the philly reference, lol
Well apart from hockey references....
Meaningless to me...is it sposed to be a "big man" thing?
Cos it didnt click.

I can paper your ceilings with pancakes, we would be laughing with each other. Ill make a point to bring marmite for the syrup:) noooo not instead of:)

Apparently, Im far to laid back/nice/easy going a person to be a domme, Ive heard it way too many times, (altho Im sure a lot of people who post here think otherwise)....few guess im a bit of a sadist, until they play with me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
@ Lady: Look, don't get it twisted. we talked about fantasies and the such. I have never and would never impose myself on a woman. But, if we talked about things before hand and she was okay with it, why not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

Poster, I am just having some good fun after a sh*t day.
I do hope your girl contacts you. I really do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
I had to figure out on my own that she is a masochist. When she told me she has been reading and studying about being a sub. And that is what she wanted for her life. A live in at that. Now, does being a masochist just blend right in to the subs world? Enlighten me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
I had to figure out on my own that she is a masochist. When she told me she has been reading and studying about being a sub. And that is what she wanted for her life. A live in at that. Now, does being a masochist just blend right in to the subs world? Enlighten me.

Now, see? THAT'S a good question.

Yes, no, and sometimes.

There are people who are masochists who want nothing to do with submission. There are some submissives who want nothing to do with pain. Some people like both.

Usually, people who enjoy pain but do not want to submit to control and/or authority are called "bottoms". (Don't confuse this with sexual positions because that's not how it works.) Think of bottoms as the receivers. Receivers of pain, sensations, the folks who enjoy bondage, and all of the fun, little things that tops, (those of us who like to apply the sensations) like to do to them.

Personally, I am a sadist. I tend to consider myself a seven or eight on the one to ten scale (y'all shuddup) of the giving pain deal. That means, a good match for me is a seven or eight on the maso scale.

The other part that has to match is how much control I have over the person. That's the Dominance part and in my world, that's not just in the bedroom. Anybody can have sex. I want a broader scope. When I say do X, they do X. To me, that's a part of what Dominance is. Of course, the other party has to be willing to submit.

How are we doing so far?

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

I had no idea of all the details. You know what else too. And I have made several references to this with not one reply. She told me she hasn't been with anyone in 2 1/2 years, she told me she has never had a "master" that she only stumbled upon all this and bought books, and the such. I already said, I seen on her FB page that she was in a "complicated relationship" a year ago. And I did just laugh typing that..."complicated", yeah, try to figure that one out. I know I should have just asked when I seen that. I didn't want to start anything right before we were to meet. I did however tuck it away for when I was irritated. But, I really wondered about that, it doesn't add up. Maybe everything she said to me was bull, that she gets her kick having someone think they are Master and controlling the situation. Which is exactly what she did. hate to admit it, but I knew that already.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
I had to figure out on my own that she is a masochist. When she told me she has been reading and studying about being a sub. And that is what she wanted for her life. A live in at that. Now, does being a masochist just blend right in to the subs world? Enlighten me.

Now, see? THAT'S a good question.

Yes, no, and sometimes.

There are people who are masochists who want nothing to do with submission. There are some submissives who want nothing to do with pain. Some people like both.

Usually, people who enjoy pain but do not want to submit to control and/or authority are called "bottoms". (Don't confuse this with sexual positions because that's not how it works.) Think of bottoms as the receivers. Receivers of pain, sensations, the folks who enjoy bondage, and all of the fun, little things that tops, (those of us who like to apply the sensations) like to do to them.

Personally, I am a sadist. I tend to consider myself a seven or eight on the one to ten scale (y'all shuddup) of the giving pain deal. That means, a good match for me is a seven or eight on the maso scale.

The other part that has to match is how much control I have over the person. That's the Dominance part and in my world, that's not just in the bedroom. Anybody can have sex. I want a broader scope. When I say do X, they do X. To me, that's a part of what Dominance is. Of course, the other party has to be willing to submit.

How are we doing so far?