When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (Full Version)

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Armydom94 -> When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 8:10:07 AM)

So my wife and I are still fairly new to this lifestyle and after discussing things we made the decision we wanted a 24/7 live in sub/slave. We want to do this right and have a great experience with it. What are things we should be looking at in our candidates? Should we put a contract together? What is your usual process to bringing in a submissive/slave?



peppermint -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 9:15:35 AM)

Frist, slave contracts are not legal so no need to put it in writing. You can bring another into your relationship when your own relationship is strong. You must also have the resources to add that 24/7 slave. You will, of course, provide the slave with medical and dental insurance and pay into an IRA so that the slave is taken care or in old age. You must also claim the value of what you provide the slave to the IRS so that the slave can pay proper taxes upon that which the slave is receiving. There is a lot that goes into having a slave besides the kinky sexy stuff.



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 9:36:18 AM)

Thank you for the response and you have definitely brought a few Points to my attention that I had not thought of. Medical and dental isn't a problem thankfully. But as for the IRA contributions and reporting that to the IRS could you explain in a little more detail please? Is this run similarly to like a small business? Or is it more along the lines of things I would claim on my personal taxes



peppermint -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:25:14 AM)

If someone provides you with a service, and you provide them with something of value for that service, that value is considered income. Income must be reported and income taxes paid. Sure, you could get away with not reporting a thing. However, some day you might get caught as some high profile people have been caught. You would also be responsible for paying an employer's part of the Social Security Tax. However, since your slave has no income you would be left with paying their portion of SS also. Having a live in 24/7 slave can sound so appealing. One tends to forget some of the other not fun stuff. If you have someone who is 24/7 in your home and you do not want this slave to have outside employment, then how are they to build up an IRA for themselves?

It is much easier to have a slave who also works outside the home. However, there can be difficulties there. There is post in Ask A Submiissive forum called Would any subs ever consider... that you should read. It brings up other issues.

Like I said, it's not all just kinky fun and having someone do all the housework. There is a lot to think about so that when and if you find that perfect match, all goes well.



WickedsDesire -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:28:34 AM)

A female sub/slave or one of those male Adonis ones?



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:38:22 AM)

I had looked into that one. Looking at it again it seems the best way to go then would be having the slave/sub working part time and it being more of a roommate with super kinky benefits that splits responsibilities around the house if I'm understanding correctly



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:40:23 AM)

Yes were looking at a female



LadyPact -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:42:14 AM)

For me to give you the best answer I can, I'd like to ask a question first. How accurate is your screen name?



WickedsDesire -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:43:04 AM)

Those are exceptionally rare. Have you spoken to any yet or had any mail you.



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:45:43 AM)

I am actually 21 and I am a Army reservist. I work full time at a hospital now that I'm off active duty



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 10:53:34 AM)

I am speaking with one and she seems like she's very interested. That being said I'm doing my best to work all the details out.



WickedsDesire -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 11:02:14 AM)

from this site? that rather surprises me. Still miracles do happen.



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 11:06:57 AM)

Surprisingly yes some miracles do and I will be appreciative of all that cone my way.



LadyPact -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 11:23:00 AM)

OK. The reason I asked is because you specifically said medical/dental isn't a problem. That really should translate to medical/dental isn't a problem for YOU because you and your wife are covered by Uncle Sam. That coverage does not extend to any additional adult brought into your household. There are only certain relationship statuses that are permitted under TriCare and poly is not one of them. If the additional person can not be covered under insurance policies of your full time employment (and that's a tough sell, too, because you're already married, so common law won't apply) you'll have to look into an independent policy unless for some reason they would be covered under Medicare.

There is no BDSM under the UCMJ and there is no poly. Be very, very aware of this because it can come back to haunt you really bad. Penalties can be harsher for you, even though only part of your time is owned by Uncle Sam. If you ever have somebody who has a hard on to make your life difficult, it can happen. It only takes one call to your command to make your life hell.

What should you look for in candidates? What made you want to be involved with your wife and what made your wife want to be involved with you if you are looking for someone that is going to have an emotional connection? (Not all poly arrangements are.) Are you planning on dating this person in a romantic sense? You are probably unicorn hunters, which means you are looking for a single, bi-sexual female who is willing to enter a relationship with an established couple.

You have to look at what addition this person brings to the household. What are their habits as far as cleaning and cooking? I assume you are looking for someone close to your age, so you may also have to take their higher education into account.

When is the right time is more complicated. How long have you been married? How long have you had your own home? Are you financially secure? (You're not active duty, so your primary income probably isn't guaranteed.) Is there space in your home for the new person to have a room of their own? Those are the kinds of things you are going to want to know for yourselves before you bring another person in.


Edited for a spelling mistake.





peppermint -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 11:33:51 AM)

Reading LadyPact's reply made me think of some other things.

How will you introduce your slave to your friends? How will you introduce her to your families? Would she be included in family gatherings, during holidays, for birthday parties? If she is introduced as a roommate then your families might wonder why she is always with the two of you, and not dating or with her own family. What happens when there are children? No birth control is 100% effective. Will the families then know that the children are really their grandchildren, nieces, or nephews? Lots to think about.



Armydom94 -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 11:35:28 AM)

For the medical/dental insurance have private insurance. Not many people where I live take tricare. Yes we are financially secure. My job is a field within medicine that few ac5ually even think of. As for the UCMJ part I am well aware of the issues surrounding that. However since separation from the military is coming within the next two years in not entirely worried on that front. We've been married for 2 almost 3 years now. As for age we don't want them drastically older then up but 7 or 8 years isn't that big of a deal to us. You bring a lot of points to the table some of which we have considered. Thank you for the insight. It is all really appreciated. Always been off the opinion of your going to do something you better do it right.

Edited for spelling/rephrasing



LadyPact -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 12:03:09 PM)

We're some of the folks who never had an issue with TriCare Remote. Luck of the draw, sometimes.

What I'd really suggest to you is for you and your wife to side down and try to figure out what kind of poly relationship that you want. It's good to have an idea of how you are going to handle situations like family, friends, any potential children, employers, etc, etc, etc. You're not going to be able to be entirely "out" until your contract is over, so you have to think about how that will be handled, too. (I would highly advise you *not* to draw up contacts that say anything about kink, D/s, poly, or anything else because that could very specifically be used against you.) The sexy-fun time is the easy part. What does your day to day look like when you envision poly? How will you handle time with just your spouse? Getting the independent time that a lot of people need to feel healthy? How will the other person's expenses be handled? What happens if the arrangement has to come to an immediate end and the other person has to leave? There's a lot to think about.



ReMakeYou -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/24/2016 11:00:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What I'd really suggest to you is for you and your wife to side down and try to figure out what kind of poly relationship that you want...


On top of this, there's the simple question of why the third would want to sign on. The basic idea of a sexy person who comes in to take over some of the workload while making no demands of their own is incredibly popular, but also wears the third out in short order. To the point where anybody who might have been open to the idea has good reason to want to avoid it now.

So ask yourself what kind of person would be interested in your offer. What sort of offers would interest you if you were down to join a couple, vs. which ones would have you running away screaming. And if you really want to go the extra mile, listen to people who have tried out being thirds, so you know what the common pitfalls are.

Then, after you know what the risks are for you and what the proper care and feeding of a slave properly entails, you can decide if you really want to put forth the effort.



OsideGirl -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/25/2016 3:09:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

You can bring another into your relationship when your own relationship is strong.


I'm highlighting this because it's very, very, very important. Poly only works when ALL members of the relationship feel secure.

Two strong points to consider:

1) You're both new to D/s

2) You have absolutely no idea how you're going to react to having that third person in your relationship, especially with that person as a live in.

My honest suggestion would be to wait awhile and focus on making sure that your relationship is strong and working like a well oiled machine.




theHouseofAvalon -> RE: When is it the right time for the slave to actually join you? (2/25/2016 9:15:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Armydom94

...What are things we should be looking at in our candidates? Should we put a contract together? What is your usual process to bringing in a submissive/slave?


First, forget the "submissive" thing unless you are going to pay her. I will assume you mean "slave" and if not that is your loss, my friend.

Characteristics? She is prey and not employee and she needs a master not an employer and she knows it at least subconsciously or you can open her eyes as a master.
Contract? Yes and this is it unwritten: Leave or be sent away and you will not be allowed back.
Process? Hunt. Find. Capture. Integrate. Enjoy.

Hunt her locally using online resources like CS.

The Master of The House



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