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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 8:50:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

If it's not for you, don't do it.

Yeah, that's kinda the point, despite what some others have said.

No the point kinda is that when somebody came in and asked:

"How to I enforce obedience in a dynamic that by it's very definition is based on obedience and the authority to enforce it?"

You came in and said: "Really, that's the shit you worry about?"

It's happening all to often around these parts that when new folk who actually have an authority based dynamic and ask questions about it, you come in with your comments and imply that they're idiots for actually doing the things that the foundation of an M/s dynamic is based upon.

You can spin it all you want, but without obedience there is no submission, and without submission, there is no M/s or D/s, so your attitude of "why do you even give a shit about whether she obeys?" is what's wholly ridiculous... not the OPs question.

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I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 9:03:34 AM

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LOL
Yes dear, whatever you say.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 9:04:56 AM

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quote:

Both are "right" depending on who you are dealing with.

Yeah, that's just what I said.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 1:00:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

Both are "right" depending on who you are dealing with.

Yeah, that's just what I said.

TDC, I don't think you get how much some people, myself included, go for this ordering/following orders stuff. You say on your profile '... doing "unpleasant" things for him is an aspect of my kink, but the truth is that mostly I am just a masochist, and I used the "doing it for him" thing as a dodge to avoid admitting that to myself.' For me, it would, in all sincerity, be the opposite way around.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 2:34:01 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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Actually. I hate to disagree with Lady Pact but outside the military, everyone negotiates a job. The options may be to accept or refuse, but those options exist.
And you are told what the job responsibilities are before you take the job.

If someone doesn't lay out the job responsibilities of a s type, but then says they'll punish the person for refusing them, they will be the one punished when the s type eventually gets fed up with having stuff demanded that was glossed over. Its a great way to make sure your s type loses respect for you and eventually walks. Bait and switch is never a good way to operate.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 3:42:58 PM

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quote:

I don't think you get how much some people, myself included, go for this ordering/following orders stuff

And you are wrong, for what it's worth, I fully understand that a good many people get off on that sort of thing, and yet I still find the lengths to which some people go with it to be ridiculous, such as fussing over something as silly as whether one is addressed as Sir or Master.
What's more, that you, or anybody else gets off on it has zero impact on anything I have said in this thread.

As an aside, I do find it very amusing how some of you feel a need to defend your chosen dynamic against my finding it silly. Why does my finding it silly and saying so threaten you so much that you, well primarily Ishtar, feel you have to rush in to defend it. Do you actually think the fact that you really go for that sort of thing will somehow make it seem less silly to me? I hate to disabuse you, but it does nothing of the sort, I don't give a fuck what you like. You like what you like and it doesn't matter to me. However when you rush in to try defend what you like it does just the opposite, it makes you, and by extension, your entire dynamic look all the more ridiculous to my eyes.

< Message edited by ThatDizzyChick -- 5/2/2016 3:44:38 PM >

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 3:46:27 PM

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quote:

If someone doesn't lay out the job responsibilities of a s type, but then says they'll punish the person for refusing them, they will be the one punished when the s type eventually gets fed up with having stuff demanded that was glossed over. Its a great way to make sure your s type loses respect for you and eventually walks. Bait and switch is never a good way to operate.

Yeah, I'd say that's about right.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 4:24:14 PM

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quote:

Do you actually think the fact that you really go for that sort of thing will somehow make it seem less silly to me?

Lordy, most of what I've done in my life looks silly to most people. A lot of it even looks silly to me.

And if we can't do 'silly' here, on a kinksters' website, of all places, there's no hope for us.

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(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 4:26:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

As an aside, I do find it very amusing how some of you feel a need to defend your chosen dynamic against my finding it silly. Why does my finding it silly and saying so threaten you so much that you, well primarily Ishtar, feel you have to rush in to defend it. Do you actually think the fact that you really go for that sort of thing will somehow make it seem less silly to me?

Personally, I'm in it for the discussion...these being discussion boards, and all.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 4:32:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Do you actually think the fact that you really go for that sort of thing will somehow make it seem less silly to me?

Lordy, most of what I've done in my life looks silly to most people. A lot of it even looks silly to me. And if we can't do 'silly' here, on a kinksters' website, of all places, there's no hope for us.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 4:33:38 PM

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I can accept that, seeing as you were not spouting off how there was only one way to do things.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 4:34:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Some examples:
- No coffee after 6pm.
- In bed by 9:30pm.
- No electronics in bed.
- First response to any command is "Ja Meester/Meesteres" questions, clarifications, etc, happen after the acknowledgement of a command.
- Cross Fit limited to once daily.
- No power lifting and Cross Fit on the same day.
- No under-eating at meals, and then making up for the lack of calories with sugar between the meals.
- Not eating the exact same 5 things for every meal.
- No brushing teeth 15 times a day (after ever single bite of food).
- No to half of her beauty product/hair product routine (basically, no stripping skin down to bare exhaustion, and then smearing cream on to make up for the lack of natural oils).
- Sunglasses to be worn when going outside, even if just to go to the car to retrieve something (this is CO after all, and the sun at this altitude causes heavy crowfeet wrinkles by the age 35 when you don't wear them religiously).

I showed this post to my better half. (While we were in bed, even, if that's your kind of thing.) I remarked on how similar a good number of these expectations are to his. Even the brushing teeth, which I thought was funny! I have an addiction to brushing my teeth so he has to check up on me to make sure it's not more than two, maybe three, times a day. I even brush my teeth after every cup of coffee. (I mean, ...I used to brush my teeth after every cup of coffee.)

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 4:35:16 PM

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Well then I'm sorry, because I just don't see what point you were trying to make when you replied to me. Try again if you want.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 8:21:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
As an aside, I do find it very amusing how some of you feel a need to defend your chosen dynamic against my finding it silly. Why does my finding it silly and saying so threaten you so much that you, well primarily Ishtar, feel you have to rush in to defend it. Do you actually think the fact that you really go for that sort of thing will somehow make it seem less silly to me? I hate to disabuse you, but it does nothing of the sort, I don't give a fuck what you like. You like what you like and it doesn't matter to me. However when you rush in to try defend what you like it does just the opposite, it makes you, and by extension, your entire dynamic look all the more ridiculous to my eyes.

I don't consider it defending it one way or the other. Clarification, maybe.

For me, it's more interesting because there are certain sub-sets of the community that had such a huge shift in (what seemed to be) the percentages of M/s folks who had dynamics that prioritized the authority/obedience aspect over the emotional/romantic element. As more s-types said they needed the 'in love' factor, that's when more M-types started the 'in love with the slave' bit. To me, that's a fascinating change in the way some people structure their dynamics.

Of course, it's also worth mentioning that some authority/obedience are still out there. It's a good reality check for the "oh, Master is going to be in love with me forever and ever' crowd when we know that's not really how it works in some cases.

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(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 8:46:27 PM

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Joined: 11/9/2014
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quote:

As an aside, I do find it very amusing how some of you feel a need to defend your chosen dynamic against my finding it silly. Why does my finding it silly and saying so threaten you so much that you, well primarily Ishtar, feel you have to rush in to defend it. Do you actually think the fact that you really go for that sort of thing will somehow make it seem less silly to me? I hate to disabuse you, but it does nothing of the sort, I don't give a fuck what you like. You like what you like and it doesn't matter to me.

So why are you so prone to ridicule others' dynamics? No one was on here defending anything until you started criticizing their kink and telling them they were doing it wrong. And your decision to continue defending your criticism indicates that you do, in fact, give a fuck.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 9:05:52 PM

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my dynamic is just that my dynamic i have a wife and a owner wifes vanilla yes they know each other my oner is a part of my family and helps watch the kids or pick them up from school ect. yes i love them both deeply and will lay down my life for them. so if you find it amusing then have a good chuckle i am not concerned in how someone else feels about my dynamic.

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RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 9:12:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I showed this post to my better half. (While we were in bed, even, if that's your kind of thing.) I remarked on how similar a good number of these expectations are to his.

That doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

I expect that he wishes to keep you in good shape as well, which is what the goal with Tess is.

Cut backs on the coffee routine has been the hardest on her. She used to drink coffee right up to the point of going to bed, with withdraw symptoms from as little missing a cup on schedule (versus most people's more manageable caffeine addiction which only kicks in after 10+ hours). She's much better now... down to a pot a day, and able to limit it to far less when need be without serious consequences.

Other than that it's her obsessive borderline germophobic relationship with hygiene (2-3 showers a day, no matter what, tooth brushing obsession, etc) that's been hardest for her to scale down from.

It's only taken a few weeks for her to report that she's really enjoying the benefits of a strict rule on these things though, as she both sleeps better, as well as not feeling as dirty anymore. What we want isn't always what's best for us... as I'm sure you know.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 9:24:23 PM

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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Why does my finding it silly and saying so threaten you so much that you, well primarily Ishtar, feel you have to rush in to defend it.

Because this forum is a place for discussion on these topics. This isn't a topic that can freely be discussed any place one might like, with whomever one might please, because of the social stigma that is on kink, and because it's not polite to attempt to discuss kink with vanilla's (and even if it would be, they wouldn't have a lot of advice to give anyways).

When you shoot down a newbie asking a sincere question they may not have a chance to get answered any other place than here by saying he's silly, you're taking away their ability to finally relax and feel comfortable that they're in a place where they can be allowed to be themselves, without masks, without pretending that they're other than they are, without fear of being ostracized or condemned for their preferences.

You are stepping in, and taking away, what might be the only place this person has ever attempted to open themselves up, without adding ANYTHING of value to the discussion at all, in a mean, hateful, cowardice and spiteful way.

You are telling them: Even here you will not be accepted; even here you will be ridiculed; even here your desires are not okay and not acceptable. You're a freak, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

You are making fun of somebody, with no benefit to yourself whatsoever, other than the glee you can have thinking that you may have hurt their feelings. There is no other possible point to making such a post. It serve to nothing. It adds nothing. It is not positive for anybody in any way whatsoever.

It's plainly a bully thing to do.

Other than that, I don't really give a rats ass about what you find silly and not. But I don't condone bullies like you who enjoy constantly picking on people just for the sake of picking on them.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 5/2/2016 9:53:26 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: To all Masters - 5/2/2016 9:44:21 PM

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Joined: 11/9/2014
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(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: To all Masters - 5/3/2016 9:58:22 AM

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Yes dear, whatever you say.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

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