FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013 From: Maryland Status: offline
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Damn, Akasha, it's been so long since any man has stopped me in my tracks to check him out, sub or not, so this is not easy to answer. If it's on a visual basis, a guy has to be my physical type more or less, for me to notice him. (I will notice if I am being stared at or glanced at frequently, but that don't mean nuttin. It doesn't mean I am returning his interest.) I don't go for the shy type. I like it when a man exudes confidence or is confident about his sex appeal, one who does not act like a wallflower statue. Then if he starts acting romantically shy around me during conversation, while being attentively focused and responsive to me or my presence, then that can be an attractive quality. He would have to speak intelligently and show appropriately consistent efforts to make a favorable impression on me. If I detect an air of arrogance or conceit, or if he is checking out any other women, then he's dead in the water. With an on-line introduction, many more factors come into play than mere physical appearance, but I have to admit that this is still important in terms of basic attractiveness level (as a baseline -- I can't do fugly ), in terms of having an understated but decidedly masculine sex appeal. However, no amount of good looks or physically attractive appearance can outweigh having a pleasantly charming demeanor. Sincerity counts, as does the desire to please, without coming across as insecure/pushy, needy/desperate, kink/fetish/sex-obsessed, and/or mentally unstable. Basically, he has to present himself like a well-rounded gentleman who would make pleasant company, as an honest and trustworthy person with nothing to hide, as a man of integrity, or else he won't hold my interest. He can be a diamond in the rough, a rare find of special import -- but not another formless lump of coal who just happens to have an XY chromosome. ETA: The vanilla gentleman I am currently dating was introduced to me by a mutual acquaintance, so I already had some biographical info and personal history to go by which stood in his favor.
< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 5/28/2016 4:08:36 PM >
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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