RE: So, I have a question

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RE: So, I have a question - 6/27/2016 2:43:16 PM

LilJuly76

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I think if you're relatively new to it, it's hard what to believe. they also tend to believe every tom, dick and harry as "Master of everything." Doesn't mean the person knows what he's talking about.

I remember when I originally joined fet on one of the submissive groups, this newbie submissive came along, without getting to know a person first, they agreed to submit to someone they thought was a Dominant, next thing she knows she signed her house to him, her car to him, and gave him access to her bank account, she lost everything because he told her in no uncertain terms that every slave or submissive has to hand over everything to the person that owns them.

as much as I felt bad this happened to her I also wanted to shake her and call her an idiot for believing his word was everything. I guess I was lucky I was brought into it when the internet was not too popular at the time, I learned from the ground up about BDSM and every relationship or play partner I have ever had always brought a lot of things to me in a D/s way.

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RE: So, I have a question - 6/27/2016 2:49:28 PM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
I guess I was lucky I was brought into it when the internet was not too popular at the time, I learned from the ground up about BDSM and every relationship or play partner I have ever had always brought a lot of things to me in a D/s way.

And I think that I personally would have benefitted greatly from a lot of the information that is readily available now when I was first starting out. I guess mostly in being able to see things from a wider perspective.

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RE: So, I have a question - 6/27/2016 4:00:50 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
being taught from the ground up I was always taught the submissve takes the orders from the Dominant they are involved with nobody else, so whatever joe smoe smuck head tries to give me orders online I just laugh at them. That's why I always tell newbie subs to never read online and don't listen to orders online by someone you aren't even submitting to.

ROFL, you think you subs have it bad? You should see the laundry list of rules which apply to a "True Dom". There's a reason one of my favorite jokes was, "I'm not nearly submissive enough to be a BDSM dominant."

More seriously though, even when internet people aren't being stupid, every single relationship is unique. If I write stuff here about how Carol and I do things, then it's about Carol and I. If bits and pieces of that tickle someone else's fancy then perhaps those bits & pieces can be "tried on for a fit" and if they work out then Huzzah! But if they don't fit that doesn't mean that their relationship doesn't measure up to some theoretical bar of properness. It means whoever read/tried them was different than Carol & I. That's why I write many of my answers in the form of first person anecdotes about my marriage. It gets me out of expounding on BDSM generally and lets me talk about reality... even if it's just one tiny little slice of reality.

That being said, I do think that reading about various relationship patterns online is helpful and, in fact, helped me greatly when I was totally naive about all of this. But I was never dumb enough to think that anyone else's rules applied to me. I never tried to be a "True Master". Note that OP apparently got exactly the insight she needed in this online interaction.

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RE: So, I have a question - 6/27/2016 4:02:19 PM

LilJuly76

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it would work if people aren't too gullible to fall for whatever everyone tells them is the only "true" way to do BDSM when in truth there is no "true way."

If I started looking information online when I first started there is no way I could tell the real from the fantasy so I'm grateful I chose not to learn that way. I learned from people in the lifestyle, submissives and Dominants alike.

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RE: So, I have a question - 6/27/2016 4:28:54 PM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

it would work if people aren't too gullible to fall for whatever everyone tells them is the only "true" way to do BDSM when in truth there is no "true way."

If I started looking information online when I first started there is no way I could tell the real from the fantasy so I'm grateful I chose not to learn that way. I learned from people in the lifestyle, submissives and Dominants alike.

The problem that I ran into initially is that the real life people I knew were "true wayers". I'm sure that if I had the benefit of reading about what others did, I would have recognized the bullshit I was being fed a hell of a lot faster.

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RE: So, I have a question - 6/27/2016 4:32:00 PM

LilJuly76

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I tend to ignore true wayers, to me they are just like the vanilla people that say they are better then everyone else, I tend to ignore them to. I have actually slapped one Dominant for trying to give me orders at a BDSM event.

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Post #: 26