RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (Full Version)

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Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 7:56:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983
Yes, we'll see how I feel tomorrow. And stupid me gave up drinking two weeks ago. [&:]

Do mind if I have a word?

This whole thing is a f^ck up from the ground up. It was all great when you were sitting in the cat bird's seat.

And now, you''re not.

Take that as you will.






I don't even understand it, lol




Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 7:57:47 PM)

And I don't want to give the impression that it's been all great until now. We've had many challenges we've had to overcome and work through.



LadyPact -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 8:05:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983

I don't even understand it, lol



Fair enough. My message to you...

YOU'RE being a dick.

Most people can't outdo me in my selfshness. My hat is off to you.




Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 8:41:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983

I don't even understand it, lol



Fair enough. My message to you...

YOU'RE being a dick.

Most people can't outdo me in my selfshness. My hat is off to you.



Duly noted. I'm backing off from my previously dickish behavior

Here goes nuttin



LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 2:49:43 AM)

I told my Dominant about this thread last night and he said the same thing LP that she only wants poly if it works in her favour. Which would explain a lot of the temper tantrums she has been doing here.



LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 2:53:37 AM)

exactly my way of thinking.

the only trouble is I don't think she understands D/s at all, she's not going to understand that she can't control the dynamic.



LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 2:58:44 AM)

drinking is not the answer but than again I have an alcoholic father. for me subspace is enough of a high and better than sex can ever be, even better than chocolate.



LadyPact -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 3:06:47 AM)

LOL. Good.

OK, so let's see if we can help you with the green eyed monster.

(You didn't think I was going to call you to the carpet without trying to help you, did you? Nah. Not my style.)

First, jealousy and insecurity can be perfectly *normal* feelings. More or less, they stem from fear. That fear usually comes from not wanting to lose what we have, or heaven help us, we view someone as threatening what we have. That's scary!

Kinda sucks, too, doesn't it, when all of these people seem to be doing ok with poly, and you're not? How did they do that?

A part of it is about facing that fear head on. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. The deal is, we have to handle them in a constructive way.

Unfortunately, you jumped on the fear train express. While your feelings are valid, they aren't facts.

Ya know, your husband and your Daddy have been sharing you for a while now. You've been reveling in both of them being satisfied with having independent relationships with these different parts that deal with your wants. Now, it's your turn to share.



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 5:10:25 AM)

Proud of you guys, you did well being NICE at first. Must be the old age of wisdom falling on everyone. The later pages though same shit. Your slipping Oside, if you work in mental health can you not see this woman gets her head examined? So I'll tell her go see a shrink.
Op I'm going to tell you the truth, people here will wind you up just to watch you unravel. It's a game. Not everyone but many! Sorry folks you know it's the fucking truth.
Ok poster I'm about to piss you off, ready?
Are you serious? Are you really serious? Ha. Take a look at what your doing. Hypocrite much?
You talk about going to church on Sunday with hubby and kids, then go to bdsm clubs? But only after you play with the kids? Are you smoking crack?
Good God, daddy picked you because you are baggage. Yes that's right. Doesn't have to make a commit, screws other women, while you worship him on the side. He knows you ain't going anywhere with kids and hubby. Your an easy mark.
You are right in the middle of your own story so you can't see it.
Look who daddy picks. A married woman with kids and an slut who enjoys messing with married men to get her jollies. Watch out your husband will be next. If daddy was such a good guy wouldn't he be making better choices? That's the kind of people ya get when your fooling around married honey. It's a game and your getting ready to crash. It's a train wreck.
Truth hurts and I'm sorry for it but I ain't beating around the bush.
Your setting yourself up for a disaster. If you can't see that, we'll just know you were forewarned.
People can say or make excuses all day long but 99% is the stupid loin head talking. That goes for women too.



Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 5:23:35 AM)

I don't think my husband will be next, lol
But the rest of what you said makes sense. It's why I resisted falling for Daddy in the first place. But I'm coming out of a fog now. I still care about and love Daddy, but I know he isn't treating me the way I deserve right now. I'm not going to stop seeing him or going places with him, but I'm done begging for the attention or texting him late at night while he is at work to "talk about things." I've been dumb. My vanilla side was treating him like a boyfriend, not my Dom. That ends now.



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 5:27:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983

I don't think my husband will be next, lol
But the rest of what you said makes sense. It's why I resisted falling for Daddy in the first place. But I'm coming out of a fog now. I still care about and love Daddy, but I know he isn't treating me the way I deserve right now. I'm not going to stop seeing him or going places with him, but I'm done begging for the attention or texting him late at night while he is at work to "talk about things." I've been dumb. My vanilla side was treating him like a boyfriend, not my Dom. That ends now.


Honey, listen to me. I have been exactly where you are. Exactly.
I talk nasty like that cause I want to wake you up. Love or lust will make us do crazy things. Trust people we shouldn't trust. Do things we really deep down don't want to do. Please listen to your gut, those feelings are trying to tell you something. Big hugs.



Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 5:37:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983

I don't think my husband will be next, lol
But the rest of what you said makes sense. It's why I resisted falling for Daddy in the first place. But I'm coming out of a fog now. I still care about and love Daddy, but I know he isn't treating me the way I deserve right now. I'm not going to stop seeing him or going places with him, but I'm done begging for the attention or texting him late at night while he is at work to "talk about things." I've been dumb. My vanilla side was treating him like a boyfriend, not my Dom. That ends now.


Honey, listen to me. I have been exactly where you are. Exactly.
I talk nasty like that cause I want to wake you up. Love or lust will make us do crazy things. Trust people we shouldn't trust. Do things we really deep down don't want to do. Please listen to your gut, those feelings are trying to tell you something. Big hugs.

Thanks. I'm sensitive and emotional for sure, but I appreciate bluntness. Daddy is taking advantage of me, and not in a Dominant way, in a selfish way. I've been selfish too. I'm not going to be anymore. If this new girl is really what he wants, even if he wants her more than me, so be it. I'll either be able to adjust, accept and be happy with the new dynamic or I won't. If I have to walk away, I know deep down inside I will. But I'm not ready to yet.



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 6:15:17 AM)

It might take awhile to get over. Or in a miracle it might work out. (Doubtful)
Yeah it's your life and things end and start at your pace. Good luck.
It's not for anyone else to decide.



Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 7:22:27 AM)

Thanks



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 7:28:25 AM)

Your very welcome. And yeah let him have the old used up slut. It will never last for them either. She is just a hole to plug and he is the hole plugger. Don't compare yourself to that. Your just confused and stepping away can bring clarity.



Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 7:29:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

Your very welcome. And yeah let him have the old used up slut. It will never last for them either. She is just a hole to plug and he is the hole plugger. Don't compare yourself to that. Your just confused and stepping away can bring clarity.


Hahaha. I needed a smile. Thanks



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 7:33:32 AM)

Great and this is me except better looking. Rethink the crazy dynamic sweetheart. Smiles.

http://youtu.be/8OXfGR4dgiY



Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 7:41:34 AM)

Bwahahahaha



LadyPact -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 10:20:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
I told my Dominant about this thread last night and he said the same thing LP that she only wants poly if it works in her favour. Which would explain a lot of the temper tantrums she has been doing here.

From what I've read, her situation pretty much dictates that she be poly. What I hope the OP gets from this thread is how to manage her feelings when her partners become involved with other partners. It's not always like you snap your fingers and everybody is happy, joyous, and free. (OK, for some people it is, but they are much nicer people than I am.)

I'm probably the odd person out here, but in my opinion, there are some things you get with poly and some things that you don't. The OP wanting to protect her own sexual health (and by extension, that of her husband) absolutely is a right that she has. She has the right to have knowledge that her partner is dating other partners. You know. Common decency stuff.

The thing is, especially when you engage in V-type poly, you kind of have to look at it as any other relationship that you are not a part of. Unless it's been pre-negotiated by the parties involved, you don't get to tell them where they can go, what they can do, what kind of emotions they might have for each other, or how fast the relationship builds. In "V," you have to understand that the other relationship is not about you.



Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/29/2016 10:32:21 AM)

Right. And I'm going to ask him to stop asking me to give her a chance. She is nothing to me. He didn't ask me about her before taking her on, so I have no reason to try to get along with her.

She even told me when we met she didn't want to think about or hear about him with other women. Yet she sleeps with several married men. I need to take a sheet out of her play book and learn how to not give a fuck about the other women my partner is with.

Plus Saturday night showed me I'm desirable to others and can get topped by others no problem. I don't need Daddy for that if we end. I don't need Daddy for anything. But I do love him, so I am staying around for now.



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