RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable

RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (Full Version)

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Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 12:34:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Some very good points, Gauge. But THIS... quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge ...it is better to lose the relationship for being open and honest than it is to be silent and lose it anyway. Is what we have been saying for the last page or two. Or like the (in)famous saying: It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But I don't want to lose him. I'm not ready to do that. Not over some noob subby cum lately. She's not worth losing him. But but but.... you are missing the label. You WILL lose him one way or the other by clamming up. This needs to be discussed and out in the open. If you aren't prepared to lose him, then be prepared to be dumped. It really is as simple as that. It really is. I'll talk to him as soon as I can.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 12:36:07 PM)
I really hope you are right. But given what you have described thus far, it doesn't bode well. Just be prepared for the unthinkable is all I can say.

QuietCascade -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 12:52:58 PM)
Aww. Shame call me sometime. So may liars and creeps on here.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 1:09:18 PM)
Just spoke with Daddy. I don't know if I feel better, but I am glad I didn't keep my feelings to myself. He says he was confused about how I felt about her and that he thought we were getting along. He's not upset with me though. He said his feelings for me can't even compare to what he's started with this new girl, and he's not even sure she understands what a D/s relationship really entails. He promised me he'd talk with her tonight. And I asked that he makes sure to answer my call after I get out of the club because I will need to talk to him after my scene. I also asked that I be his only baby girl. He's my Daddy. Not her's. He can be her master or Sir or Dom, but he's my Daddy.

Gauge -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 1:14:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 Just spoke with Daddy. I don't know if I feel better, but I am glad I didn't keep my feelings to myself. He says he was confused about how I felt about her and that he thought we were getting along. He's not upset with me though. He said his feelings for me can't even compare to what he's started with this new girl, and he's not even sure she understands what a D/s relationship really entails. He promised me he'd talk with her tonight. And I asked that he makes sure to answer my call after I get out of the club because I will need to talk to him after my scene. I also asked that I be his only baby girl. He's my Daddy. Not her's. He can be her master or Sir or Dom, but he's my Daddy. See? It wasn't at all like you feared it would be. Glad you talked with him and it appears that you will be talking a lot more. Perhaps, if he dumps her, you can ask to be involved with the selection process next time. Please, come back and update us. Best of luck to you both.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 1:30:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire can i clear up Op is a well known sock - let us see the desperate monsters who back him up -it was his point of doing this...you are no better Have you really fallen out of your tree WD?? If, as you say, he is a well known sock, then you should be able to provide proof of such. Your ramblings and a random dude pic is not verifiable proof.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 1:42:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 Just spoke with Daddy. I don't know if I feel better, but I am glad I didn't keep my feelings to myself. He says he was confused about how I felt about her and that he thought we were getting along. He's not upset with me though. He said his feelings for me can't even compare to what he's started with this new girl, and he's not even sure she understands what a D/s relationship really entails. He promised me he'd talk with her tonight. And I asked that he makes sure to answer my call after I get out of the club because I will need to talk to him after my scene. I also asked that I be his only baby girl. He's my Daddy. Not her's. He can be her master or Sir or Dom, but he's my Daddy. See? It wasn't at all like you feared it would be. Glad you talked with him and it appears that you will be talking a lot more. Perhaps, if he dumps her, you can ask to be involved with the selection process next time. Please, come back and update us. Best of luck to you both. Thank you. I will. P.s. this guy getting weird in my thread is scaring me. Should I be concerned? Is he going to try and hack me or something. This is why I hate being online. People can be scary [&o]

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 1:49:50 PM)
I wouldn't worry about WD. He's a mystery unto himself and most of us ignore him (as in, put him on hide) as most of the time he makes so sense at all.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:11:57 PM)
Thank you, I didn't know I could do that. Hiding now:)

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:31:31 PM)
Should I post this on the ask a Master forum as well, to possibly get more incite? I tend to over think things and need to talk things out.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:34:44 PM)
I think you meant 'insight'. lol. No, it is against the rules to be spamming a single topic in more than one forum. And FYI, many replies here are from both submissives and dominants. You've gotten good advice from both sides. Posting the same thing elsewhere isn't going to avail you of anything more except criticism for spamming.

DesFIP -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:39:19 PM)
This isn't polyamory, it's two vees. You and your husband, you and him. But hubby and daddy have no relationship. Same with him. Him and you, him and her. But you and her have no relationship. Sounds like in future you would do better to take a page from your husband's book: don't ask, don't tell. But the more you try to control his other relationships, the more you're trying to control him. It doesn't matter if he's daddy to a dozen different women. Because what he does with them doesn't take anything you need away from you. Is he meeting your needs? Great, that's all that matters.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:50:23 PM)
That's all well and good Des, but her jealousy is getting the better of her. And that's the crux of her problem - jealousy of the other woman in her daddy's life. And what's worse, she has kept that fact from him so he has no clue that she feels this way. Even if he is meeting her needs, she can't seem to accept the other sub her daddy has chosen for himself. That problem won't reslove itself. It needs to be openly discussed and sorted out by the dominant and I have a feeling she isn't going to like the outcome. As I pointed out earlier, if she can't keep the green-eyed monster at bay, she may well have to consider leaving him or putting up with something she doesn't like.

Gauge -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:57:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 That's all well and good Des, but her jealousy is getting the better of her. And that's the crux of her problem - jealousy of the other woman in her daddy's life. And what's worse, she has kept that fact from him so he has no clue that she feels this way. Even if he is meeting her needs, she can't seem to accept the other sub her daddy has chosen for himself. That problem won't reslove itself. It needs to be openly discussed and sorted out by the dominant and I have a feeling she isn't going to like the outcome. As I pointed out earlier, if she can't keep the green-eyed monster at bay, she may well have to consider leaving him or putting up with something she doesn't like. Refer to post #87. She has talked with him about this since she first posted.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 2:57:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP This isn't polyamory, it's two vees. You and your husband, you and him. But hubby and daddy have no relationship. Same with him. Him and you, him and her. But you and her have no relationship. Sounds like in future you would do better to take a page from your husband's book: don't ask, don't tell. But the more you try to control his other relationships, the more you're trying to control him. It doesn't matter if he's daddy to a dozen different women. Because what he does with them doesn't take anything you need away from you. Is he meeting your needs? Great, that's all that matters. Fundamentally and logically I know you are right. Compartimentalization is a new concept for me. I think this experience will help me with that mindset

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 3:00:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 I think you meant 'insight'. lol. No, it is against the rules to be spamming a single topic in more than one forum. And FYI, many replies here are from both submissives and dominants. You've gotten good advice from both sides. Posting the same thing elsewhere isn't going to avail you of anything more except criticism for spamming. Yes insight, lol. Oopsie

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 3:14:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP This isn't polyamory, it's two vees. You and your husband, you and him. But hubby and daddy have no relationship. Same with him. Him and you, him and her. But you and her have no relationship. Sounds like in future you would do better to take a page from your husband's book: don't ask, don't tell. But the more you try to control his other relationships, the more you're trying to control him. It doesn't matter if he's daddy to a dozen different women. Because what he does with them doesn't take anything you need away from you. Is he meeting your needs? Great, that's all that matters. Fundamentally and logically I know you are right. Compartimentalization is a new concept for me. I think this experience will help me with that mindset Compartimentalization isn't so new to you - you managed to do that with hubby and kept your daddy relationship quite separate from your hubby and family. What you didn't want to do is precisely that with your daddy because you thought you'd have him all to yourself. It sounds to me as if you went into this arrangement blind and didn't do any research before you jumped into it. If you can't manage to keep things distinctly separate, you may have to wrestle with yourself to work out what is best for you. As I said earlier, I really hope it works out for you. But you might have to do some real soul-searching to calm the beast within.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 4:08:56 PM)
couldn't have said it better myself.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 4:12:03 PM)
what I mean by doomed if she wants only sex and he actually wants a BDSM relationship it's going to be doomed. You're in some sort of subfrenzy and you're not thinking with your head, you are so eager to submit to anyone even if you are married or if the other person is married, doesn't matter you just want to submit and that's deadly in the long run, that's why so many submissive females get hurt or even worse.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 4:17:44 PM)
And how many times have we seen exactly that on these forums over the years?? It must be at least many dozens if not into the hundreds. I've lost count.

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