RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable

RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (Full Version)

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WickedsDesire -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 10:49:24 AM)
How many times Op have I told you not to take the piss out of the regulars on here?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 10:51:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 3. I've told Daddy everything but not liking his new sub. I'm keeping that to myself and trusting he will be able to make he best decision about her for himself. How I feel about her personally doesn't really matter, does it? She's not my sub or play partner. 4. implicitly. I couldn't stay with him this long if I didn't. I don't trust her. I think she's playing with him. Thes are very important issues for both you and for him. He needs to know your feelings otherwise he'll be thinking everything is hunky-dory and all Ok - when it clearly isn't for you. For any relationship to work, be it vanilla, kink, poly or anything, requires clear communication from all concerned. You aren't being clear to your daddy and that's not fair on him. You are expecting him to make the right decision with only half the info. You need to fess up with him or walk. But telling him I don't like her will make me look petty and jealous. Why would I want to do that? I'm trying to give this a chance. Maybe I'm wrong about her and she will be willing to give up the other men for him, or Daddy won't mind and he will accept their arrangement for what it is. That really isn't my call or my decision. Right? No it doesn't. It shows you are concerned for the well-being of the relationship. Not just for you, but for everyone involved in it. If he can't deal with you bringing it up, the relationship is doomed because you'll forever be walking on eggshells. As Oside said, poly only works if everyone is open and honest, otherwise it is guaranteed to fail. Her question is a very valid one: how can you NOT tell him?? He needs to know so he can address the problem. Without that info, he's shooting in the dark. That really isn't fair on him. In essence, you are lying by deception - and that isn't very nice. Don't wait until next week. Call him and tell him up front so he has time to digest it so you can both be prepared to talk about it.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 10:54:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire How many times Op have I told you not to take the piss out of the regulars on here? Huh? This is my first time here. Who are you talking about. I'm confused

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 10:54:27 AM)
quote: But I still don't like her. I can't tell him that. Why can't you?

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 10:56:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 3. I've told Daddy everything but not liking his new sub. I'm keeping that to myself and trusting he will be able to make he best decision about her for himself. How I feel about her personally doesn't really matter, does it? She's not my sub or play partner. 4. implicitly. I couldn't stay with him this long if I didn't. I don't trust her. I think she's playing with him. Thes are very important issues for both you and for him. He needs to know your feelings otherwise he'll be thinking everything is hunky-dory and all Ok - when it clearly isn't for you. For any relationship to work, be it vanilla, kink, poly or anything, requires clear communication from all concerned. You aren't being clear to your daddy and that's not fair on him. You are expecting him to make the right decision with only half the info. You need to fess up with him or walk. But telling him I don't like her will make me look petty and jealous. Why would I want to do that? I'm trying to give this a chance. Maybe I'm wrong about her and she will be willing to give up the other men for him, or Daddy won't mind and he will accept their arrangement for what it is. That really isn't my call or my decision. Right? No it doesn't. It shows you are concerned for the well-being of the relationship. Not just for you, but for everyone involved in it. If he can't deal with you bringing it up, the relationship is doomed because you'll forever be walking on eggshells. As Oside said, poly only works if everyone is open and honest, otherwise it is guaranteed to fail. Her question is a very valid one: how can you NOT tell him?? He needs to know so he can address the problem. Without that info, he's shooting in the dark. That really isn't fair on him. In essence, you are lying by deception - and that isn't very nice. Don't wait until next week. Call him and tell him up front so he has time to digest it so you can both be prepared to talk about it. I did try calling earlier, but he's with his family dealing with his bipolar brother. Now is not the time to stress him out anymore than he already is. He is a good man. I'll call him tonight after I go to the bdsm club. I'll need to touch base with him anyway afterwards.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 10:59:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: But I still don't like her. I can't tell him that. Why can't you? Because I haven't liked any of the girls he's talked to and this is the first one since we've been together that he's been intimate with and called his sub other than me. He likes her obviously. I'm not going to be the reason he doesn't, he needs to make that decision. Not let my jealousy color his opinion of her. I did tell him what she told me about the other men because I don't keep secrets from him. He needs to decide if he will accept that or not. It's not my call.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:00:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 quote: ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire How many times Op have I told you not to take the piss out of the regulars on here? Huh? This is my first time here. Who are you talking about. I'm confused Ignore WD. He's either misplaced his muffins, or his cheap chardonay isn't warm enough or he's missed his meds again.

Baldrick -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:00:40 AM)
Sounds to me that this relationship is doomed no matter what

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:06:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: But I still don't like her. I can't tell him that. Why can't you? Because I haven't liked any of the girls he's talked to and this is the first one since we've been together that he's been intimate with and called his sub other than me. He likes her obviously. I'm not going to be the reason he doesn't, he needs to make that decision. Not let my jealousy color his opinion of her. I did tell him what she told me about the other men because I don't keep secrets from him. He needs to decide if he will accept that or not. It's not my call. Your jealousy is important because it is potentially going to ruin this relationshp. You say you don't keep secrets from him, but you have; probably one of the most important secrets that make a huge difference to any relationship. By not telling him, you are breaking his trust in you and that is crucial. Your sub frenzy is clouding the issue and you need to see this for what it is. You aren't protecting him at all - you are single-handedly stirring the pot with poison and mistrust. Lack of trust in any relationship is an absolute killer.

WickedsDesire -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:16:00 AM)
Aquanerd1983 Some I will take at face value, you I will not because you do this time and time again and sometimes, not all the time, I mention when I can be bothered. We are not all oblivious drones.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:23:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire Aquanerd1983 Some I will take at face value, you I will not because you do this time and time again and sometimes, not all the time, I mention when I can be bothered. We are not all oblivious drones. And pray tell, oh glorious WD, where you get this "time and time again" from?? According to the site, she has made 24 posts and all in this thread. Has your crystal ball also malfunctioned??? Go take your meds and bake a muffin. Come back when you've got your intelligent head working again.

MariaB -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:24:00 AM)
I agree with FD and OG, You are willing to tell the world about your emotions but you don't want him to know. I’ve never had a poly relationship where I haven’t known and really liked the other woman. Friendship as a threesome is very important to us all but that’s probably why I’ve never felt jealous, threatened or left out. You don't have to do it that way but when you don't, its likely doomed to fail. Like someone else said here, poly is about absolute openness. I wouldn’t be just talking to him about how I feel, I’d be talking to the both of them in the same room at the same time and if either of them felt the same way about me I would expect the same open discourse. This doesn’t sound like poly to me. It sounds more like a one ended open relationship where he takes a lover and you believe, to be a good submissive, you have to put up and shut up. You’ve got a long way to go before you can call this a poly experience.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:25:45 AM)
[sm=agree.gif][sm=goodpost.gif]

WickedsDesire -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:34:18 AM)
freedomdwarf1 I am led to believe all liars and embellisher's of them, cheats and scallywags, ignore me and bitch henous untruths about I, and are planning to steal my cats (look i call it as I see it - op is a man hes done this many times before *waves dick). I mean its a good question. Just not from a lie or someone who does this time and time again - no. Now hush someone said paddle mumbles mutters and looks

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:39:00 AM)
If you believe this to be a man who has graced the forums 'time and time again', perhaps you could provide some substantial evidence to back up your theory??? If not, then STFU and stop injecting stupidity into threads.

OsideGirl -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:40:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB you believe, to be a good submissive, you have to put up and shut up. Exactly. And again...resentments will eat and destroy the relationship.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:44:17 AM)
That photo has no bearing or links to anything you are acusing OP of. It's just a random photo of a male.

WickedsDesire -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:45:21 AM)
freedomdwarf1 The proof is in the pudding and I declare that one a turnip. You may prove to me, and all, why you believe creature is real and I will fall to my knees in utter awe. The picture is of me freedomdwarf1 not a random man as your arse spray mayhem of lies claim- Christ what a dangerous fuker you are I will also draw your attention to Now hush someone said paddle mumbles mutters and looks for said relevancy What a bit of sophistry you are perhaps you and op should get a room

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:47:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB I agree with FD and OG, You are willing to tell the world about your emotions but you don't want him to know. I’ve never had a poly relationship where I haven’t known and really liked the other woman. Friendship as a threesome is very important to us all but that’s probably why I’ve never felt jealous, threatened or left out. You don't have to do it that way but when you don't, its likely doomed to fail. Like someone else said here, poly is about absolute openness. I wouldn’t be just talking to him about how I feel, I’d be talking to the both of them in the same room at the same time and if either of them felt the same way about me I would expect the same open discourse. This doesn’t sound like poly to me. It sounds more like a one ended open relationship where he takes a lover and you believe, to be a good submissive, you have to put up and shut up. You’ve got a long way to go before you can call this a poly experience. Ive already met with her one on one, and I've told both him and her all three of us need to meet as a group. Daddy is working on arranging that.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/27/2016 11:51:05 AM)
We take everything on these forums at face value unless proven otherwise. The onus is upon you to provide proof that this photo is indeed the OP. Links to other posts etc. Posts that link those writings to what has been scribed in this thread. And please learn to type in English... or something close to it. Most of your ramblings resemble a thesbian idiot who's lost the plot.

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