Master wants new slave help??

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Master wants new slave help??

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Master wants new slave help??

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 8:48:13 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/30/2016
Status: offline

So I have a question. My master only see's me when he can. Now he wants to add another slave in. I'm feeling really upset he hardly has time for me and now wants another.. Am I wrong to feel this way? As a sub am I just to say yes master?

< Message edited by Kitten48 -- 9/14/2016 8:51:18 AM >

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 9:12:47 AM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

If he barely has time to see you, yet is hankering for another, I can see the writing on the wall.

Looks like you are on your way out for whatever reason.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to Kitten48)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 10:36:27 AM

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/1/2014
Status: offline

Hi
Even in D/s there are relationship red flags. His lack of time for you in the first place is one. You need to talk to him and tell him you want more of his time. Tell him you need it. Even if you are spending 20 hours a day with him if you still feel you need more time that is a red flag indicating that you have a need that is not being met in the relationship. Secondly, think of all the reasons you are uncomfortable with another slave being in your relationship, besides time because you will have talked to him about that separately and then talk to him about all the things you thought of. These things can be jealously, hurt feelings, who is the alpha slave?, how does he see your interactions together?, anything. Write these things down so you don't forget to mention any when you talk to him. Let him know how you feel, just be sure you know how you feel and can tell him clearly and listen to his feelings and thoughts about adding others to your relationship. And yes you may find yourself cying during this conversation and that is ok too. This is hard stuff to talk about.

Be careful and thoughtful here because if he does not listen to you and want to lead you through this transition then that is certainly a red flag that you may need to find a different Dom. I hate to see relationships end. I hope with time and communication you both can be happy with the future you may have together or apart.

Best wishes

(in reply to Kitten48)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 10:38:31 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Let me ask you....when you started this relationship did he tell you that he wanted to be poly?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ADomme4you)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 10:40:07 AM

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitten48
So I have a question. My master only see's me when he can. Now he wants to add another slave in. I'm feeling really upset he hardly has time for me and now wants another.. Am I wrong to feel this way? As a sub am I just to say yes master?

It's never wrong to feel, the right or wrong is in whether you're taking the right action to achieve what you want.

So what is the outcome you want?

As a slave you're expected to respect and act in accordance with his wishes.
But you can always choose to not be his slave. It just has to be a permanent thing.

(in reply to Kitten48)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 12:32:34 PM

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

Am I wrong to feel this way?

Nope, you are never wrong for feeling something. Right and wrong only enter into the equation when you ct on the feelings.

quote:

As a sub am I just to say yes master?

Maybe, is this something you agreed to? If you did then yeah, it's "yes sir" or the door, if you didn't agree to it then no, you are free to say or do what you think best.

My Personal Take: Walk away now before it gets really ugly.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Kitten48)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 12:39:50 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitten48

So I have a question. My master only see's me when he can. Now he wants to add another slave in. I'm feeling really upset he hardly has time for me and now wants another.. Am I wrong to feel this way? As a sub am I just to say yes master?

Your profile says "we want" not "Master wants"... so which is it?

(in reply to Kitten48)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 12:44:30 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitten48

So I have a question. My master only see's me when he can. Now he wants to add another slave in. I'm feeling really upset he hardly has time for me and now wants another.. Am I wrong to feel this way? As a sub am I just to say yes master?

Your profile says "we want" not "Master wants"... so which is it?

Good point.

I'll also add to the OP - there's no such thing as "no limits".

But, judging from the OP's post - even if she says yes, it isn't going to work because there seems to be a whole lotta miscommunication and resentment going on.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/14/2016 12:47:26 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 12:47:11 PM

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Communication, communication,communication!
So, what was the understanding between you in the beginning? What did you agree to? Has he violated that agreement?
Communication, communication,communication!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Kitten48)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 1:40:50 PM

Posts: 39
Joined: 12/16/2015
Status: offline

He doesn't have the time that you would like to spend with only you yet according to your profile you are helping him seek another?
In your "contract" are there any obligations for him? Contract or not you are still human and deserve to be treated as such. At some point you (the OP) will have to put your foot down.
Knowing nothing else I would have to agree with ThatDizzyChick.
Walk away clean and let him play as he can. There's no reason to add another female to the group that claim that all men are alike.
Walk away.

(in reply to catize)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 2:20:08 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

Oh hun. All I can offer is hugs and sympathy
I'm going through this right now. I asked for a break to reevaluate things but my Daddy isn't taking my request very well. I hope you have better luck.

(in reply to NotFiftyShades)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 3:09:09 PM

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

have to agree with Catize on this one, communication, communication, communication. Why people insist on jumping into D/s relationships without covering all basis is beyond me.

My suggestion is if you don't think you can be in a relationship with a man who wants more than one submissive then get out before you get hurt, else you will end up being jealous and you're not going to be feeling just right.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 3:09:15 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

It comes down to whether or not you agree with Gladys Knight's decision in the song, "Midnight Train to Georgia"... she decided she'd rather live in His world than live without Him in hers.
And if done correctly (imo) He will make that decision pretty easy for you. If you're really struggling with it, my advise is... move on. He's not 'The One'.

< Message edited by tamaka -- 9/14/2016 3:10:49 PM >

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 4:14:57 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

It comes down to whether or not you agree with Gladys Knight's decision in the song, "Midnight Train to Georgia"... she decided she'd rather live in His world than live without Him in hers.
And if done correctly (imo) He will make that decision pretty easy for you. If you're really struggling with it, my advise is... move on. He's not 'The One'.

But don't you agree giving yourself time away from the situation and experiencing what life would be without them can give you more clarity on of you want to live life with them or not?

I'm not talking months, just a few weeks of me time to get your head on straight with out being lead by the emotion of it all.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 4:18:03 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

have to agree with Catize on this one, communication, communication, communication. Why people insist on jumping into D/s relationships without covering all basis is beyond me.

My suggestion is if you don't think you can be in a relationship with a man who wants more than one submissive then get out before you get hurt, else you will end up being jealous and you're not going to be feeling just right.

Right, and you aren't a bad sub or person if you find something you did initially agree to isn't as easy or as pleasant as you thought it was going to be. If he can't compromise on his need for multiple partners and it's a make or break for him, that doesn't make him a bad person either. You just aren't compatible OP. And that's ok.

< Message edited by Greatlilbabygirl -- 9/14/2016 4:20:48 PM >

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 4:32:43 PM

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

ok well I was replying to the OP, my java isn't working so I can't hit the reply button under the original post. Not only that I didn't call her a bad person but Catize hit the mark when she said communicate, communicate, communicate, that's what a D/s relationship is all about. So many people jump into a D/s relationship without communicating, without basically telling the hard limits up front etc...

and then he hits you with "i want another submissive" and you are left thinking why does he want another one? aren't I enough?

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 4:55:02 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

ok well I was replying to the OP, my java isn't working so I can't hit the reply button under the original post. Not only that I didn't call her a bad person but Catize hit the mark when she said communicate, communicate, communicate, that's what a D/s relationship is all about. So many people jump into a D/s relationship without communicating, without basically telling the hard limits up front etc...

and then he hits you with "i want another submissive" and you are left thinking why does he want another one? aren't I enough?

True, that's definitely something that should be discussed upfrount.
At least it's a learning experience. I know how much it hurts though

OP, hang in there

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 4:59:29 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
If he can't compromise on his need for multiple partners and it's a make or break for him, that doesn't make him a bad person either. You just aren't compatible OP.

If he didn't disclose that from the beginning - it makes him a liar.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 5:13:35 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
If he can't compromise on his need for multiple partners and it's a make or break for him, that doesn't make him a bad person either. You just aren't compatible OP.

If he didn't disclose that from the beginning - it makes him a liar.

Yup.
Though he may not have started out with the intention of taking on more than one. It may be a new development. Maybe OP can clarify

Though I suspect if he didn't bring this up from the beginning and it's a surprise to the OP, he likely already has a new sub or has one in mind. Just a guess

< Message edited by Greatlilbabygirl -- 9/14/2016 5:14:49 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Master wants new slave help?? - 9/14/2016 11:07:16 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/30/2016
Status: offline

Oh.

(in reply to Kitten48)

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Master wants new slave help??

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

3.395