Gauge
Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FezzigSubmissive
I am not in capable of meeting orders, if he tells me to do them, usually I will. Sometimes I don't which I've been punished for.
But this mental game playing isn't fun, I am so over it. But it's been a month. Everyday I say something about learning, everyday it's the same old answer cool beans. No praise, not even blackened hate, he ignores me.
What can I do to stop the mental torture. I don't want it, why hurt me if I am willing to submit? Why carry out with it?
I just don't understand, he is using the one thing he knows will break me
OK, a few questions to you:
Is this a face to face relationship or is this an online thing?
Are you doing things that he has asked you not to do?
quote:
He told me to stop stop stop, stop needing attention because it wasn't becoming on me. That's all I asked. So then I asked why are you ignoring me? I sent last night and he said his phone was off and he was at the bar, and went home and didn't want me to ruin it for him.
Why did he tell you this? Are you messaging him incessantly? Are you being too needy? To me, it sounds like you are too needy.
He told you to stop being so needy, and you then message him and ask him why he is ignoring you? Seems to me like you should be able to figure that out all by yourself.
Has he tried to communicate with you in the past about what he expects from you? Are you doing it?
quote:
And yesterday I said I try to be good, I want to be better and he said, doesn't matter that you do good, it needs to be done right.
Why did he say this to you? Your trying to be good may not be you doing as he asked of you.
It sounds to me like he is trying to get you to behave, and yet you aren't. If he has told you what he expects from you, then it is up to you to do it, and not ignore his wishes. Whatever is going on, it appears like this is not working. Let's eliminate the BDSM element for a moment and look at it in a relationship point of view. Something has gone wrong with communication between both of you. When that happens, all that is left are your own thoughts and guesses as to his motivation, all of which are now assumptions because he is not talking to you.
Regardless of whether or not his treatment of you is justified or not, it boils down to that it is not working the way either of you want it to. This, for me, would be a deal breaker. Talk to him not as a submissive, but as a partner and ask him to talk about your unhappiness with the relationship. You know, be an adult and deal with it rationally. Whatever the result of that conversation is, you will get an answer, albeit it may not be the answer you wanted to hear, so prepare yourself for that.
I wish you luck.
_____________________________
"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick
I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.
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RE: My Dom Hates Me - 
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