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New to the lifestyle - 11/15/2016 6:34:12 PM

Evilbear36

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/14/2016
Status: offline

We are new to the lifestyle as well as Internet dating. I am hoping someone can take a look at our profile and point out some good things and things that can be improved.

I have dominant/assertive tendendencies, the mrs. is vanilla but encouraging us to seek a sub/slave. For personal reasons I would rather leave the exact reasons we are seeking this to private conversations between us and potential partners, suffice it to say it is the right time in our lives to seek that special woman out.

First I don't have a huge toy chest yet, but the means to get them. The big ticket items are expensive and doesn't make sense to purchase without the right partner, is that a mistake?

We are asking for correspondence before just accepting someone, is this appropriate?

I (the dom) actually care about people as people. Subs also have needs from doms. In the profile I suggest they tell me what they like and expect from a dom. In part this is to insure we are a match and in part to know what equipment to look forward to purchasing, is this the right way to get the information.

The mrs. is interested in the friendship her and the sub can have as well as assistance with daily duties without being part of the bdsm sex. Is this a realistic goal?

Finally I have considered going to some munches to meet other people in the lifestyle. My mrs. would rather skip that part. I have heard mixed reviews about going as a solo male. The majority of what I have read is that the solo males are frowned upon as most munches are made up of established couples already in the lifestyle.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated thanks for reading

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RE: New to the lifestyle - 11/15/2016 8:00:31 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

Welcome to this discussion forum. Solo males are welcome at munches as they are simply social gatherings for like minded people. You have a meal, perhaps a drink or two and enjoy the discussion. They are held in public places and at the ones I attend, there is no fetish wear, toys or play of any kind allowed. You get to know other people with your interests...networking would be a good description.

If your post was to garner interest in someone to join you and your wife, this is not the place to place an ad. There is an introduction forum for that purpose.

< Message edited by MsLadySue -- 11/15/2016 8:01:09 PM >

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(in reply to Evilbear36)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - 11/15/2016 8:37:01 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

I am hoping someone can take a look at our profile and point out some good things and things that can be improved.

Well there is fuck all in there about you and what you offer to this girl. See, the thing is, for every female slave willing to join an established couple, there are like 3000 couples. So it's a buyer's market, so you really have to sell yourself. the other thing is to be prepared to look for a long time, many people spend years looking for somebody to add to a couple.

quote:

First I don't have a huge toy chest yet, but the means to get them. The big ticket items are expensive and doesn't make sense to purchase without the right partner, is that a mistake?

Sounds reasonable to me, why spend thousands of dollars on stuff you may never use.

quote:

We are asking for correspondence before just accepting someone, is this appropriate?

That seems to be the norm these days, though I would recommend some real world meet ups and dates as well during the feeling each other out phase.

quote:

In the profile I suggest they tell me what they like and expect from a dom. In part this is to insure we are a match and in part to know what equipment to look forward to purchasing, is this the right way to get the information.

I wouldn't put it into the profile, I would draw that information out during the getting to know you phase. The reason for this is because by putting it in your profile it sort of implies that you wish to immediately start discussing kink, rather than spending a little time to see if you actually even like the girl as a person.

quote:

The mrs. is interested in the friendship her and the sub can have as well as assistance with daily duties without being part of the bdsm sex. Is this a realistic goal?

Who cares. My goal was to have two bi Doms who were in love with each other as well as with me, way unrealistic, but I found it. And I have seen comments on Fetlife from women who would prefer that sort of arrangement, so they are out there.

quote:

Finally I have considered going to some munches to meet other people in the lifestyle. My mrs. would rather skip that part.

Do it, and try to get her to go with you.

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RE: New to the lifestyle - 11/15/2016 8:56:38 PM

Evilbear36

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/14/2016
Status: offline

MsLadySue thank you for clarifying the munches. That encourages me to go. And no not trying to generate interest on this forum. I was looking for feedback from doms about my expectations and online dating. Dizzy gave me some great feedback that I am appreciative for. Thank you both a bunch.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

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Post #: 4