My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes in a chatroom

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My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes in a ... - 12/11/2016 10:21:16 AM

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What is your opinion on this? Is this a bit too much? Because in the chatroom both mistresses and subs interact with each other. I was in the chatroom talking with one of the dommes and she said she viewed my profile and saw that i was owned and asked me if I was allowed to chat with her and other dommes in the chatroom. I was a bit surprised to hear that i needed permission for this. So, i asked my mistress later when she was online and she said no and that i should only be thinking of her.

So, do you think this is too much? I was hoping to hear other Mistresses' opinion on this. The reason is that i have a premium membership and with that i can use my cam in the chatroom. So if an owned sub isn't allowed to interact with other dommes in the chatroom then why is this feature allowed?

P.S This happened on another site. I chose to write it here instead because i don't want her seeing this.

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 10:46:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spideycool69
P.S This happened on another site. I chose to write it here instead because i don't want her seeing this.

If you felt you had to "hide" it, there is something wrong.

I am of the opinion that, if I am in charge of a dynamic, there is a reason for that. If, voluntarily, you have entered this thing where I am the decision maker, you have given me said authority. That's my job. Your job is to follow said authority, until such time that you want out from under my authority.

If you are doing underhanded shit, the dynamic, in a sense, is over. If you are lying, manipulating, making excuses for your behavior, rather than actually submitting to the other person, you have chosen this. You have taken your own authority back and your actions are SHOWING the other person that they don't have the power in the dynamic, anymore.

Personally, I would tell you, if you want that other stuff, go have it. I am not willing to sign up to go along for the ride.

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 10:47:23 AM

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You should be talking to her about it.
She may have her reasons beyond your devotion only to her. Jealous, trust, belief that you can follow her rules. You decide whether you have an issue with what rules there are...discuss it with her. Or show her this message :)
It used to be called respect for another dominant, and for the subs "relationship".
Plenty of male and fem doms have had that rule, but absolutely nothing to do with being able to use a vid chat freedom...
You follow her rules or find another dominant that doesnt mind you chatting to other people.
I dont think its realistic myself, but online often is anything but realistic.
But I do know that if a submissive of mine went to another forum to bitch about my decision without discussing it with me fully first, you would be looking for a new dominant.

just sayin

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(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 10:50:44 AM

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If that is part of your agreement, between you and your mistress, then it is your responsibility to not visit those rooms.

Not all dynamics have those rules, therefore it is not up to the sites to decide whether or not to offer those services to subs/slaves. As an adult, you should be responsible for engaging (or not) in behaviors that are appropriate for your dynamic.

Now, if you were not aware that you were not allowed to do this, then that is a matter between you and your mistress. Miscommunication on someone's part, inexperience, whatever, this should have been negotiated beforehand. The problem needs to be resolved between you and your mistress, not with the site.

(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 11:29:48 AM

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A lot of tops, sadly, are quite insecure people, and so can feel threatened if subs they feel they've claimed are talking to (or in extreme cases, even acknowledging the existence of) other tops, who might be toppier, or at least more confident than they are.
Equally, you get some subs who feel that that playing the role of the bottom is a license to slut it up and flirt with anything vaguely toppy that can be found, either sincerely or as the sort of brattery that's done to fish for a "punishment" they hope to enjoy.

However the two of you interrelate, you should really be discussing this with her, rather than on an internet messageboard with Dominatrices on it, as everybody else has pointed out already.

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 1:28:54 PM

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Is this the same Domme as the one that told you no porn and you freaked out that she punished you for disobedience?

(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 2:17:51 PM

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quote:

I was hoping to hear other Mistresses' opinion on this.

Why? The opinion of other "Mistresses" doesn't matter, in this case the only Mistress whose opinion matters is your Mistress. Did you agree to let her decide what you could do online? If so, then do what you fucking well agreed to, if not, sit down and talk it over with her to see if the two of you can work it out.

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/11/2016 6:14:07 PM

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Your Domme gives you an order. Do it. That's not hard.

If you have an issue wuth it, discuss it with her.

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Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/12/2016 10:26:34 AM

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Even as a sub, I'm struggling to see the real dilemma here.

Your mistress doesn't fancy you chatting to other mistresses. Well either you like that kind of exclusivity or you don't. If you don't, get out of the relationship. However if you are exclusive to her, I don't see that not chatting to other Dommes is a great problem. Why would not being able to go on cam with other Dommes bother you? Are you looking for an insurance policy in case this relationship fails?

I think though that she's onto a loser if she thinks that she can make another human being only think about her. That seems a bit ambitious even for the most devoted person and sounds a bit like either supreme over-confidence or insecurity. If you are in an exclusive relationship being exclusive in deed would seem quite sufficient. Exclusive in thought is a bit over the top. Whatever way, if again you have agreed to be exclusive, I don't get what the issue is.

More important, as Lucylastic has already suggested, your coming onto a message board to try to get someone to agree with you that you should be allowed to cam chat with other Dommes is pretty underhand.

Talk about it face to face and if you don't like the outcome, you know where the door is.

(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/12/2016 11:57:55 AM

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I'm with everyone else - this is something that pertains to YOUR relationship. You should have discussed this before agreeing to be in a power dynamic with her...and you should be discussing it with her now.

I will also say that there is a difference between talking to a D as another human being and talking to a D in a flirtatious manner.

My personal view is that having a rule about not talking to other D's as a human being means there is at least one of three things wrong:

1) lack of self esteem and feels threatened

2) doesn't trust you

3) is hiding something that will come out by getting input from other D's

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/13/2016 10:29:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spideycool69

i asked my mistress later when she was online

Based simply on this evidence that it's an online relationship and this is apparently the only way he has to contact her, my guess is she doesn't want anyone else milking her cow. Rent's due in just a couple of weeks, after all.

Beyond that, just echoing everyone else. She makes the rules, you follow them. If you don't want to follow them, get out of the relationship. It doesn't matter what other subs are allowed to do.

(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 12/28/2016 8:23:26 AM

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I am with the rest of you. I wonder why the OP is making matters even worse by posting this on another site behind her dom's back? I am allowed to do many things on the net and at home but I do have some rules I must follow. Of course there is the chance that the OP is intentionally breaking the rules so that she may be punished? My relationship with my gf is a lot less "informal" than most and to be honest it is expected that I do break the rules sometimes for the punishment. We like it when she has to correct my behavior on some things. But that was understood when we started doing this with each other.

Or maybe the OP is just very new to this and dosn't understand what is required of her?

(in reply to WindAndSky)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/20/2017 9:59:07 PM

LTE

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quote:

What is your opinion on this? Is this a bit too much? Because in the chatroom both mistresses and subs interact with each other.

It is not a bit too much. Dommes tend to expect you to not speak to others unless they give permission even if you are not a "slave". If you don't like it simply going to another Domme might give you more freedom but you might have to search hard for one that is less possessive. Check out any club scene and you will see she is not the only one requiring such exclusivity even in casual conversation, especially if it is with a Dom. If you really need more flexibility then I've afraid you will need to look for an experienced and confident Dom. I'm not suggesting this for my benefit as I am not looking to grow a submissive basketball team viral Vlog youtube sensation. Not till next week, anyway.

(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 12:29:07 AM

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FR
I have never understood the whole "don't talk to other dominants thing, smacks of insecurity to me. I asked the Fellas about it, and they just laughed, they said "Talk to anybody you want about whatever you want". Their attitude is if some rando online could somehow interfere in our relationship, then it's a pretty weak relationship anyway.

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 1:00:31 AM

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I wish to be clear..

There are no women here...lets call it 10% on the forums and 1% elsewhere (pardon me regulars)..this site preys on ad revenue from feeble men on the hunt for nothing that exists here – cleared that up have I now?

Now, maths for pea brain aside, there are no "dommes" for you to speak to. Let alone boast to hark your waffle too.

Have you enquired, recently owned maggot, how much your Mistress plums weigh on the scale and I will wager you a small bollocks worth - nothing to be particularly afeared off, whilst mines several metric tons.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 3:00:19 AM

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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spideycool69

[snip] ... So, i asked my mistress later when she was online and she said no and that i should only be thinking of her.

So, do you think this is too much? I was hoping to hear other Mistresses' opinion on this. The reason is that i have a premium membership and with that i can use my cam in the chatroom. So if an owned sub isn't allowed to interact with other dommes in the chatroom then why is this feature allowed?

P.S This happened on another site. I chose to write it here instead because i don't want her seeing this.

I'm a bit torn on this one. I snipped the quote so that it reflects the specific issues I want to comment upon.

My first, gut-level, reaction was: "Oh, goody! Thought control" It's one of the subjects I'm always banging on about. I like to think that even if I weren't polyamorous, I would end my control of my ladies before I got to their very thoughts.

Of course, it's difficult to not answer this when basing it upon my own experiences, but I promise, I'm trying.

It's not for me to judge what you and your lady want out of a relationship, but it is for you to judge what you want out of a relationship. If this is what you seek, you're golden.

For my part, it sounds an awful lot like a matter of insecurity. I know that if I weren't polyamorous, I wouldn't restrict my ladies' ability to speak with other guys because if they don't really want to be with me, quite frankly, I don't want them around. If they think there's a greener pasture, they should go. So, I don't fear them interacting with other people.

The reason I'm torn is on the other side of the coin, I believe submission should be absolute. Once I've made up my mind and made my decision known, it is within her purview to either acquiesce to my wishes or to decide she no longer wishes to submit. We can discuss it, of course, but if my mind's made up, discussion is usually futile.

As to the part I highlighted in red: I'm not quite sure what having cameras available means you're "required" to use them. It doesn't match up.

I spent years on another site that used a G-chat platform. We had cams, we had voice chat capability. It was terrific. I can say for my part, rarely was my webcam engaged. I viewed others, but I tended to stay away from viewing cams of owned ladies unless their partner specifically asked me to view. That was more of a "defense mechanism" because so many "Dominants" are, in reality, insecure and therefore over-controlling (in my view).

The point is: No one HAD to engage their webcams.

I hope something I typed was useful.

Good luck and peace,

Michael

Edited to add the part in Purple

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 1/21/2017 3:04:35 AM >

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(in reply to spideycool69)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 3:01:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: So if an owned sub isn't allowed to interact with other dommes in the chatroom then why is this feature allowed?

$

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 5:16:58 AM

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quote:

So if an owned sub isn't allowed to interact with other dommes in the chatroom then why is this feature allowed?

Because that rule doesn't apply to everybody, and because there are such things as unowned subs.

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RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 8:24:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

FR
I have never understood the whole "don't talk to other dominants thing, smacks of insecurity to me. I asked the Fellas about it, and they just laughed, they said "Talk to anybody you want about whatever you want". Their attitude is if some rando online could somehow interfere in our relationship, then it's a pretty weak relationship anyway.

M has always had the same view. If you can't trust someone enough to have a conversations with other people, then there isn't much point in being in a relationship with them.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: My mistress told me not to chat with other dommes i... - 1/21/2017 1:32:30 PM

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Ain't it nice to not be dating an insecure person?

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