RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive

RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (Full Version)

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tamaka -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 5:47:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. Fine.. ultimately though.... at their core they are a follower.

Wayward5oul -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:03:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. Fine.. ultimately though.... at their core they are a follower. Ultimately, you may be. You cannot say with any confidence that submissives in general are. Rather, you can say it all you want, but that doesn't make it true.

tamaka -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:15:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. Fine.. ultimately though.... at their core they are a follower. Ultimately, you may be. You cannot say with any confidence that submissives in general are. Rather, you can say it all you want, but that doesn't make it true. Well darling if they weren't they wouldn't be a submissive in their most intimate relationship.

Wayward5oul -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:25:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. Fine.. ultimately though.... at their core they are a follower. Ultimately, you may be. You cannot say with any confidence that submissives in general are. Rather, you can say it all you want, but that doesn't make it true. Well darling if they weren't they wouldn't be a submissive in their most intimate relationship. Like I said, agree to disagree. This is a statement that cannot be neither proven or dis-proven, so you can think what you want.

stef -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:44:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Fine.. ultimately though.... at their core they are a follower. Ultimately, you may be. You cannot say with any confidence that submissives in general are. Rather, you can say it all you want, but that doesn't make it true. Ultimately, at their core, tamaka is a fucking idiot.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:47:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. I'm afraid that has no relevance as they are not being submissive in those dealings, only in the one relationship in which they chose to submit, and in that relationship, they can indeed be said to follow the lead of the dominant.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:52:37 PM)
quote: A submissive can mean a lot of things. Correct, and all those meanings will carry the concept of following the lead of the dominant. quote: It may mean someone who is submissive in general. And they follow in general quote: It may also mean someone who submissiveNess depends entirely upon their partner. And they follow their partner's lead. quote: It may only be in the bedroom. And they follow the dominant's lead only in the bedroom quote: It could mean a lot of things. Indeed it could, and yet all those meanings carry the sense of following the lead of another. quote: Regardless, I would hesitate to use the word "follower" to refer to myself Aha! And here we have the crux of the argument. You do not like the word because to you it has a negative connotation. Be that as it may, that does not actually change anything.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 6:53:49 PM)
quote: This is a statement that cannot be neither proven or dis-proven, so you can think what you want. Sorry, you're just being silly now.

LadyPact -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 7:39:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 I don't know why, it's like really weird. I am getting quite a few men contacting me these days that has their orientation stated as submissive in their profiles here. But they insist that, they are dominant and they don't see themselves as submissive showing up on their side of their screen. That they had their profile as dominants. But on my end, looking at the profile. EVEN the written profile, kink list, were all submissive slanted. Like WTF? New mind fuck games? I even screen shot to them what I see, and they would outright deny it's showing like that on their end of the screen. Can't say I've ever seen a site glitch for this. Have seen lots of the following over the years: People who have multiple profiles and honestly don't remember which profile they were on when they sent you mail. People who honestly don't know that 'light blue' would be a submissive male and 'dark blue' is how the screen name shows up for Dominant. People who got drunk, created a profile, then tried changing the profile when sober, but forgetting to hit that 'save changes' button. People who didn't really notice what they put on a profile but contacted people from it anyway because <cough> all kinky women are the fast path to easy sex <cough>. People who didn't really know what "submissive" or "Dominant" meant when they joined the site. People who didn't realize that their profile was supposed to be about them, rather than what they might be looking for. (IOW, agreeing with FD about that one.) Men who are bisexual that are more submissive leaning toward Dominant men but feel more Dominant in their interactions with women. (Same men won't admit they are bisexual because a lot of women won't date bi men.)

tamaka -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:02:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka Fine.. ultimately though.... at their core they are a follower. Ultimately, you may be. You cannot say with any confidence that submissives in general are. Rather, you can say it all you want, but that doesn't make it true. Ultimately, at their core, tamaka is a fucking idiot. Umm, honey, i think you forgot to take your meds. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

DocStrange -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:03:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. I'm afraid that has no relevance as they are not being submissive in those dealings, only in the one relationship in which they chose to submit, and in that relationship, they can indeed be said to follow the lead of the dominant. Submitting to someone is not always the same as following the Dominant. While I may choose to submit to being bound, it is up to the Dominant to gain control of my mind and body. There are times I willingly let go. There are other times when I do not willingly let go. At this point I am not following the lead of the Dominant at all. But more of a contest of can I maintain control? Or can my Domme take control of me? This is one of my favorite forms of play, and my Domme's.

Wayward5oul -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:13:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. I'm afraid that has no relevance as they are not being submissive in those dealings, only in the one relationship in which they chose to submit, and in that relationship, they can indeed be said to follow the lead of the dominant. But those are the caveats that I was talking about-her definition doesn't address is in in a relationship. at in the bedroom, part of work, etc. Just to say that someone is a "follower" ignores those conditions...which is the point that I have been trying to make.

Wayward5oul -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:17:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: This is a statement that cannot be neither proven or dis-proven, so you can think what you want. Sorry, you're just being silly now. How so? Because I am being dead serious. There was not one iota of silly intended in that statement.

tamaka -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:31:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. I'm afraid that has no relevance as they are not being submissive in those dealings, only in the one relationship in which they chose to submit, and in that relationship, they can indeed be said to follow the lead of the dominant. Submitting to someone is not always the same as following the Dominant. While I may choose to submit to being bound, it is up to the Dominant to gain control of my mind and body. There are times I willingly let go. There are other times when I do not willingly let go. At this point I am not following the lead of the Dominant at all. But more of a contest of can I maintain control? Or can my Domme take control of me? This is one of my favorite forms of play, and my Domme's. If you're not letting go and/or you are not following then you're not being a sub. But as long as the both of you are enjoying playing games... have at it.

DesFIP -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:51:12 PM)
Considering it's almost stereotypical that CEOs are much more likely to submit than to dominate, it's pretty damn foolish to say that they are followers at heart.

tamaka -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 8:53:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Considering it's almost stereotypical that CEOs are much more likely to submit than to dominate, it's pretty damn foolish to say that they are followers at heart. They are followers when they are submissive.

Wayward5oul -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 9:01:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: A submissive can mean a lot of things. Correct, and all those meanings will carry the concept of following the lead of the dominant. quote: It may mean someone who is submissive in general. And they follow in general quote: It may also mean someone who submissiveNess depends entirely upon their partner. And they follow their partner's lead. quote: It may only be in the bedroom. And they follow the dominant's lead only in the bedroom quote: It could mean a lot of things. Indeed it could, and yet all those meanings carry the sense of following the lead of another. I stated from the beginning that saying that a submissive is a follower implies a general personality trait, one that I in no way applies to submissives in general, without adding caveats to make it more applicable. What you added above are basically the caveats I was referring to. A person who is submissive in general may follow others leads in many areas of life, not just that of a dominant in a relationship. A person who is submissive may only be submissive within an intimate relationship with a dominant, and she will follow his lead within that relationship, yet in other areas of her life she may have a role as a leader. A submissive may only be submissive in the bedroom, where she will follow her dominant's lead in the bedroom. Now, just saying that a submissive is a follower completely ignores all these variations and the many others that could be added with a little more time. quote: quote: Regardless, I would hesitate to use the word "follower" to refer to myself Aha! And here we have the crux of the argument. You do not like the word because to you it has a negative connotation. Be that as it may, that does not actually change anything. I don't see it as a negative connotation. Its yin and yang. If there were no followers, there would be no leaders. There are certain areas of my mundane, daily life that I choose to be a follower in, just because of the convenience factor for me, so that I may conserve my mental and physical energy on the areas that I feel I need to be the leader. The reason that I stated that I would hesitate to call myself a follower, is because of feedback I get from others around me. At work, when we are given team-driven projects, I am always given a team-leadership position by my supervisors. When we are asked to designate leaders ourselves, it ends up being me. When that isn't happening, I am coming up with my own initiatives to propose to administration or volunteering for whatever else is going on. When I first joined the kink club out here, everyone thought that I identified as a dominant. I don't play at the club, just socialize, so they had nothing to go by except my personality and behavior. From that, it was assumed that I was a domme, until I started making friends with them on fet and they saw that I identified as a sub. Even then, some told me that once I got into things and really started playing, that I would probably come out as a domme. But I won't. Don't wanna and not gonna. With the right person I will follow their lead in the bedroom, and I hope to one day find someone who wants to and can push me enough to take it out of the bedroom and expand it into more areas of my life. I hope to be a follower in more areas of my life than I am now. So no, being a follower is not a negative connotation to me. I just truly don't believe that it can so easily be applied as a catch-all definition of submissives. But there are areas of my life that I will always be the leader, and I want and need it to be that way.

Wayward5oul -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 9:07:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tamaka quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Considering it's almost stereotypical that CEOs are much more likely to submit than to dominate, it's pretty damn foolish to say that they are followers at heart. They are followers when they are submissive. So you are saying that they are followers when they are in engaged in a submissive role? If so, what do you see as a submissive role?

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 9:16:44 PM)
quote: I stated from the beginning that saying that a submissive is a follower implies a general personality trait Yes, just as saying they are submissive implies a general personality trait. quote: What you added above are basically the caveats I was referring to. What I added above are the caveats you applied to their submission. quote: A person who is submissive may only be submissive within an intimate relationship with a dominant, and she will follow his lead within that relationship, yet in other areas of her life she may have a role as a leader. Correct, and in those other areas of her life she is not being submissive, and thus her being a leader is irrelevant. quote: Now, just saying that a submissive is a follower completely ignores all these variations and the many others that could be added with a little more time. And saying they are submissive also completely ignores all these variations and the many others that could be added with little more time. Every argument you have against using the word follower is equally applicable to the word submissive. Gee, it's looking an awful lot like the two terms are more or less interchangeable isn't it?

Greta75 -> RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are submissive (12/18/2016 9:26:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have to agree with Wayward5oul on this point. There are many submissives who are dominant in life and only choose to submit to 1 special person. I think that would describe me perfectly. But, I actually hate leading. BUT I always end up leading, because I also cannot stand it when nobody takes initiative! So I'd step up! Because it seems like most people around here don't want to make decisions and just want someone else to tell them what to do. And for me, making decisions is like second nature. It's not really an effort to make decisions, I make it very easily, but I just don't enjoy being the decision maker. But when everybody is kinda like staying on the sidelines, and when you want things accomplished. Then you just gotta take the lead and start delegating and throwing out instructions and set people with tasks to do and be the problem solver! That's in my vanilla life whether in social or work. But whenever someone else take the lead and I don't have to, I am always super happy! So my happiest and most content position is always second in command. As I can lead, but I don't feel like I am top dog, there is still someone leading me.

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