Could I possibly be a switch?

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Could I possibly be a switch? - 1/19/2017 3:32:56 PM

janigrey

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I met a male submissive on the plane to Vegas. I wish I had worn a go-pro camera because I would really like to know how we got on the subject. I know in a million years I wouldn't have gone there first.

Anyway - I don't know what overcame me - but I kept - pushing buttons, boundaries (society's not anything he stated) waiting for him to say - no or stop... and I was getting so high on the power.
so....
I did a thing. (insert a penthouse forum level thing) It makes me call into question my submissive label. Maybe I am a switch - but this is only the second time in 16 years that I've ever gotten toppy and enjoyed it.

Should I label myself a switch? I've decided to tag myself with "evolving" right now.

Part of me thinks - perhaps I just need firmer handling?

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 1/20/2017 4:20:09 PM

HoneyBears

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: janigrey

Should I label myself a switch? I've decided to tag myself with "evolving" right now.

Part of me thinks - perhaps I just need firmer handling?

Throughout life, we should always continue to evolve.

The only thing that does not change, is that All Things Are Subject to Change.
(Paraphrasing somebody and cannot recall who.)

You can be a submissive-leaning switch, or "bottom" heavy in terms of BDSM activities.
You could be a dominant-leaning switch, or "Top" heavy.
Rarely are switches exactly a 50/50 split.
It helps others if you can assess a ballpark split ratio (75/25, 60/40, 50/50, 40/60, 25/75), but that would be for you to decide and to adjust this shifting ratio as you see fit.

For example, you may find a master with whom you do not desire to switch.
The good thing about having flexibility, is that you could find yourself a dom-leaning switch or a masochistic dominant; whereas the majority of submissive women would be unhappy if their master acted less than *domly* in their eyes.
Further, there is nothing wrong with indulging in experimentation safely, with a trusted, fluid-bonded partner.

It can be hard on male switches, more so on line than at IRT events; however, female switches typically do not run into nearly as much intolerance or disdain with the "You're just confused" stereotype.

Best of Luck,

Lisa & Cub

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to janigrey)

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 1/21/2017 3:44:21 AM

bondageerone

Posts: 522
Joined: 6/16/2016
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for me being a lesbian switch, it has always meant giving and receiving pleasure.
pure mutual enjoyment is most satisfying. Terri. xx

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 1/22/2017 5:25:17 PM

janigrey

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I've been active in real time kink for over 16 years.
This isn't the first time I've topped someone. I did it in the beginning to see what it was about and hated it.
This time - I was absolutely delighted - It wasn't like a chore - ( the previous times were)...

just caught me off guard after all this time.

(in reply to bondageerone)

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 2/16/2017 8:08:10 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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I feel you should identify yourself to others by your normal preference, not your very rare exceptions (twice in 16 years). Otherwise people won't gain a quick understand of your basic traits or main role. I think we are all complex to the degree a label often doesn't describe us extensively. But labels and definitions for our roles serve to define our base, not limit or confine our reach.

Now if you are having "toppy" urges consistently enough that you want to explore it and make it part of your make up, that's another story.

I am a sadist the vast majority of the time. My slave partner and I have a BDSM relationship with M/s protocols 24/7. But once in a while, I enjoy good ol' fashioned romantic vanilla love and/or vanilla sex. I do not label or describe myself as part vanilla... it is not my style or my major interest.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 2/16/2017 8:18:24 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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For a long time, I have believed we are all "switches" to some degree or another. Sure, some of us are only switchy in a very minuscule way. I have worked jobs where my purpose was, essentially, to serve people. Some of those jobs made me ecstatic.

I think it has a lot to do with the dynamic between two people. I have had ladies who identify as "dominant" submit to me because of the vibes between us.

I have never felt any inkling to submit in a romantic relationships, but I've been a "member" of social groups (groups of friends) where I was definitely not the dominant force.

So, I guess, what I'm saying is why bother about labels? Just tell people who you are.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 3/20/2017 8:22:20 AM

NoirMetal

Posts: 508
Joined: 3/20/2017
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People nearly always undergo changes with age and experience. If this one left an impression that you found pleasurable-feel free to explore it!

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 6/13/2017 9:43:30 AM

KindSirMd

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/7/2017
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For me, it depends on my mood, what is going on in my life, etc.

Switching is not a bad thing, in fact find it a learning experience.

(in reply to NoirMetal)

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RE: Could I possibly be a switch? - 7/10/2017 2:26:39 PM

AtUrCervix

Posts: 2111
Joined: 1/15/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: janigrey

I met a male submissive on the plane to Vegas. I wish I had worn a go-pro camera because I would really like to know how we got on the subject. I know in a million years I wouldn't have gone there first.

Anyway - I don't know what overcame me - but I kept - pushing buttons, boundaries (society's not anything he stated) waiting for him to say - no or stop... and I was getting so high on the power.
so....
I did a thing. (insert a penthouse forum level thing) It makes me call into question my submissive label. Maybe I am a switch - but this is only the second time in 16 years that I've ever gotten toppy and enjoyed it.

Should I label myself a switch? I've decided to tag myself with "evolving" right now.

Part of me thinks - perhaps I just need firmer handling?

Clearly, you found this man captivating or...this discussion wouldn't be...being had.

Secondly...you found yourself wishing you could immerse yourself in his world...to have him.

Here's the deal:

Men are MORE likely to be submissive (sexually) because...it's far more exciting (you in "leather" {demonstrative}...etc.)...and yet...we're far more likely to be aggressive because...well...that's what we are...but...we are ALWAYS putty...in a good woman's hands.

Sooo...how do you get "there"....from "here"?

(That's your game babe).

Play it.

(Sucks doesn't it because...women are more likely to be sexually submissive and yet....we LOVE that you're sexually aggressive).

(Sue me...I don't know the answers...I just know we love you chics).

(And...everything you do).

(in reply to janigrey)

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