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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/25/2017 4:34:25 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell
Edit* further research... Carter is a dude... for fuck sake what's wrong with this guy... this article is written by an idiot for the consumption of idiots. [/color]

Exactly, the reason why I posted this to ask men, because I am surprised this advice is written by a male psychologist. Who supposingly been helping couples with their problems.
And burning clothes is his solution. Lol!

I wonder if women following his advice is gonna wreck their marriage and create distrust. My first instinct is, the husband would be like, "WTF, I married a psycho! Who is this woman!"

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/25/2017 4:36:34 PM >

(in reply to Cell)
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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/25/2017 10:02:15 PM   
Cell


Posts: 409
Status: offline 		It's not literal advice Greta, it's a poorly though out illustration of the principle he's proposing. He's saying generally that actions speak louder than words. When dealing with men... the first part of that is an admirable sentiment. The second part is an over generalisation.

I mean look... this stuff is directed at desperate housewives... and this guy is a vacuum cleaner salesman.

< Message edited by Cell -- 1/25/2017 10:05:52 PM >

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 12:37:50 AM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The solution is not to burn his clothes. That simply allows him to ignore the consequences of his own inactions.

The solution is to leave his clothes everywhere. Just pretend they aren't there. Eventually he'll start complaining that he has no clean clothes and you'll say "you left all your socks under the bed."

Nothing else. Just put it back into his lap. Should he have the temerity to bitch about that, just repeat it, word for word. By using the same exact words repeatedly, he will come to understand that this is your line in the sand.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 1:24:57 AM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		FR

I did this once to a house mate when I was a student: get some fishing line and attach one end to an item of clothing on the floor. Run the rest of the fishing line under his bedroom door. Wait till he starts to fall asleep that night then start pulling said item across the floor. Presto: items of clothing on the floor become haunted, he feels this to be bad news ... no more clothing on the floor.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 3:25:03 AM   
Greta75


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Status: offline 		Lol, that's funny!

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 5:51:44 AM   
Milesnmiles


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Joined: 12/28/2013
Status: offline 		The word "irresponsible" is meaningless in this discussion, this is really about what females do and say having an effect on your man's self esteem.

For some men, females can have a major impact on their self esteem, for good or ill but some men, perhaps because of past experiences, insulate themselves from their females so they have little or no impact on their self esteem.

So the question females should ask themselves, regardless of what type of man you have; is what kind of man do I want my man to be, do I want to build my man up or tear him down and what kind of person does that say I am?



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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 5:58:19 AM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The solution is not to burn his clothes. That simply allows him to ignore the consequences of his own inactions.

The solution is to leave his clothes everywhere. Just pretend they aren't there. Eventually he'll start complaining that he has no clean clothes and you'll say "you left all your socks under the bed."

Nothing else. Just put it back into his lap. Should he have the temerity to bitch about that, just repeat it, word for word. By using the same exact words repeatedly, he will come to understand that this is your line in the sand.
I was thinking that it would better to say something like; I washed all the clothes in the hamper, I thought you didn't want the clothes you left on the floor washed or else you would have put them in the hamper.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:33:23 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmile

So the question females should ask themselves, regardless of what type of man you have; is what kind of man do I want my man to be, do I want to build my man up or tear him down and what kind of person does that say I am?

I think the point of it though is that.
This psychologists is saying that the word "irresponsible" will hurt men deeply and the way he would take it, would be more serious, than what you meant, more than other words. I was just wondering if it's true.

Sometimes, you say things not realising the impact on the other person.

Also, men tend not to talk about their feelings, so even if they are smarting, they may not inform you.

I remembered one time a conversation went totally FUBAR with my guy.

It has to do with him telling me that he got to let go a whole bunch of people in his company.
And I know it weigh heavily on him.
I actually had to go through a similar situation in the past.
And what he was going through, I was just sharing with him what happened when it happened to me. But it probably was not appropriate. As in my case, I told my boss I resign rather than retrench those people. My situation had a happy ending, in the end, nobody had to go, my boss thought of an alternative solution to keep everyone in the end. In his case, his gone ahead to get rid of the people that needed to go.

My point was actually made in admiration. For me, although it was the right thing to do, but I couldn't do the right thing. As in, I just didn't want to be the bad guy.

But he completely took it wrong and thought I was criticizing him for being able to go through it.

And he got pretty mad at me. Like really really mad.

You know, sometimes, communication cross wire does happen.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/26/2017 6:40:18 AM >

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 11:29:25 AM   
Milesnmiles


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Status: offline 		I remember one time I liked a young lady that was over weight, I didn't care I thought she was very pretty.

There was a fork lift trying to pick up a load that was too heavy for it so a number of us jumped on the back to try and counter balance it but it was still not enough.

We needed just a little more weight.

I saw this young lady and wanted her to join us in the fun and called to her "come on we can use a little extra weight" and she literally never spoke to me again.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 5:27:30 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

I remember one time I liked a young lady that was over weight, I didn't care I thought she was very pretty.

There was a fork lift trying to pick up a load that was too heavy for it so a number of us jumped on the back to try and counter balance it but it was still not enough.

We needed just a little more weight.

I saw this young lady and wanted her to join us in the fun and called to her "come on we can use a little extra weight" and she literally never spoke to me again.


You should have apologised to her and let her know that you think she was beautiful.

With my guy, I definitely told him that I am the last person on earth who will ever put him down, as hurting him would be hurting myself. That who knew something I said in admiration and support got mistaken for something so opposite. We made up of course.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/26/2017 5:31:31 PM >

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 5:46:28 PM   
AtUrCervix


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/25/o.glass.ego/


1) So if you told a man to do something and he forgot to do it, and you call him irresponsible. That is the WORST possible word you could say to a man? Really? That he would be so focus on the word "irresponsible" to refer to EVERYTHING in his life?

It actually suggests it's much better to simply call him an asshole than "irresponsible".

Not that I've ever dated a man who is irresponsible to start with, to ever start saying that "word". I don't date irresponsible men.

2) So, if you got a man who likes leaving his clothes lying everywhere. The solution is not to nag at him to please pick it up in the future or accusing him of disregarding her feelings, but to simply pick up his clothes and burn them? Wow! Really? Does that work? And he won't get mad?



Soooo many women get caught up in this (STOOOOPIT) booooooshit that they have to choose (as in....pick up after {someone}!).

They don't have to choose (YOU don't have to choose)....

STOP CHOOOOOOOOOOOSING!!!!!

Pick a guy who doesn't give a fuck!!!

Pick a guy who either wants to pick up his shit or....who NEVER wants to pick up his shit!!!!

(Then....if....a guy who chooses not to....{pick up his shit}....pick a guy who can afford to have someone pick up his shit!!!).

Gawwwwd....

(I swear....I do all the fucking work here to s'plain).

(It's really not that tough girls.....pick a guy who can afford to have someone pick up his shit and then....YOU.....make it fucking happen {he sure as fuck won't}....because....just for clarity...if he can afford to have someone pick up his shit.....he's very likely....pretty fucking busy which....for the record....makes you pretty damned invaluable {connect the dots ladies}...and by virtue.....YOU get to chill).

(Jeeeeezus fucking H....how hard is this equation????).

Allow me....

Guy makes enough to have his shit picked up.

You hate picking up "guys" shit.

(See above....previous).

(Pick that guy).

How fucking difficult is it to "orchestrate"?

(Thank you.....I'm here on weekends.....tip your waitress....).



< Message edited by AtUrCervix -- 1/26/2017 6:06:07 PM >

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 5:53:33 PM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		Actually in my country, it's cheap to hire people to take care of our home that even basic salary people can afford it. But I thought hiring domestic help is something that only the very rich can afford in the US?

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 5:57:20 PM   
tamaka


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Actually in my country, it's cheap to hire people to take care of our home that even basic salary people can afford it. But I thought hiring domestic help is something that only the very rich can afford in the US?


Illegal Mexicans make cheap home labor.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:01:57 PM   
AtUrCervix


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Actually in my country, it's cheap to hire people to take care of our home that even basic salary people can afford it. But I thought hiring domestic help is something that only the very rich can afford in the US?


I'm sure that's (inordinately) true Greta.

The one thing I do know is....I fucking hate picking up my shit.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:03:20 PM   
AtUrCervix


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Actually in my country, it's cheap to hire people to take care of our home that even basic salary people can afford it. But I thought hiring domestic help is something that only the very rich can afford in the US?


Illegal Mexicans make cheap home labor.



So do well paid (any agency).

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:12:47 PM   
Greta75


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Status: offline 		A domestic worker only cost us SGD350 (USD 245) per month, for 24hrs x 6 days of their service. Full time, live in, domestic help.

How much does it cost in US for the same? With the illegals and legal?

Ours are all legals! They have work permits issued by the government. So we get Indonesians, Filipinos, Myanmar folks, Bangladeshi etc as domestic helpers. But they all come in legally and are also attend proper training program.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/26/2017 6:13:54 PM >

(in reply to AtUrCervix)
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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:12:58 PM   
tamaka


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AtUrCervix


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Actually in my country, it's cheap to hire people to take care of our home that even basic salary people can afford it. But I thought hiring domestic help is something that only the very rich can afford in the US?


Illegal Mexicans make cheap home labor.



So do well paid (any agency).


Nope... not like illegal Mexicans. I could get a 5000 sq ft house cleaned for $50.

(in reply to AtUrCervix)
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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:14:56 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Nope... not like illegal Mexicans. I could get a 5000 sq ft house cleaned for $50.

How many hours? For $50?

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:20:14 PM   
tamaka


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Nope... not like illegal Mexicans. I could get a 5000 sq ft house cleaned for $50.

How many hours? For $50?

There were 2 girls for 2 hours... so 4.

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RE: How true are these about men? - 1/26/2017 6:24:46 PM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
There were 2 girls for 2 hours... so 4.

That's actually still kinda expensive compared to ours. That's what we pay for local part time domestic help by the hour. Foreign domestic help who we need to hire as full timers are just so much cheaper.

$50 x 5 days x 4 weeks = $1000 per month expense!

If someone makes only 30k per annum, it might be quite unaffordable.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/26/2017 6:25:26 PM >

(in reply to tamaka)
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