Hi, I have a few questions for any owned slaves or subs. I’m currently in training to be owned and my Master thinks that I don’t really understand what takes to be slave and he wants me to get a perspective some owned slaves and subs who live with their Masters. As much as I want to be completely obedient, I am having a very hard time following some of his rules. We are currently in different states but we’ve known each other in person for almost 10 years. So I’m by myself during this training period until I can move to be with him.
I know as a slave I need to put his needs first and obey without question or even thinking and and what I want is not supposed to matter but some of the rules take me so far outside of who I am as a vanilla person that I’m really struggling. He has given me some rules that I can completely follow for periods of time but am having a hard time following them endlessly 24/7. I have tried to negotiate some compromises but so far he has not been receptive.
-Has your master make rules that you have to follow 24/7 that are really really hard for you to follow? How are you successful in that situation?
Consistency and compromise. I try my best to be consistent in meeting his expectations. If I've given it an honest effort, and find myself struggling because I feel it changes the essence of me (if that makes sense), then I bring it to him and there we compromise on how to make it work. The thing is, you have to be ready to accept a true compromise - not him changing his expectation to what you want it to be, but both of you giving a little bit to help you meet it.
-As a slave how to you deal with things that are expected of you that are at odds with who you are as a vanilla person. Things that effect your day to day life, not really related to sex but things like being naked all the time or very restrictive bathroom rules.
Well, things that I find at odds with who I am aren't things like this. It's more along the lines of being told to take time off from an activity I'm involved in, or to be in bed at a certain time of night. These are lifetime and daily habits that are not easily changed, either in practice or in belief. How do I deal with that? Same as above. First, consistency. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. After you've given it an honest try, then come to him with your concerns, and see what can be done. Again, the end goal shouldn't be for him to say "Oh, okay, then, don't worry about that expectation if it's too hard for you." The conversation should be about how to make sure you meet those expectations and not lose your mind at the same time. :)
-As an owned slave, what is the day to day life like with your Master, are you always in a BDSM mode where you are maintaining strict protocols all the time? If you’re more of a sub how do you balance both sides?
There's no "mode." There are expectations of behavior at all times, for both of us.