My written word is not all that great either. I always have a ton of spelling and grammatical errors. Having correct spelling and grammar used to be a hang-up of mine. My job changed that. Working with people who’s native language is not English you have to let go of that :) . Though when writing reports for work I do spend more time proof reading :)
It would be tough for me to find the correct reference to substantiate the claim, but here's a bit of trivia for you. Did you know that we tend to be more forgiving of things like spelling and grammatical errors if we actually like the person who is writing a post? There are other factors, too. Things like how invested we are in a topic or does a subject matter to us. It can be interesting to watch the way we interact.
Agreed, the forums are not what they used to be. The volume of people is down and many of the fun people have left. I did attend a lot of CS parties in the past or events where CS people would make it a point to meet up at. I do not see that type of atmosphere here anymore. We need more Gandalfs :)
Well, it's easier to be Gandolf when there are more people into meeting up.
There aren't threads anymore about how a couple of dozen of us are going to do a "CM meet-up" at Folsom or "here's how to find me at Leather-Fest". We don't talk about the house parties where a bunch of us eat s'mores around a campfire or six of us met up for dinner because the timing just worked out.
Someone fun to start with. Someone who is a bit adventurous. Someone who does not take life to serious. Someone who appreciates the small things in life. Someone who is willing to communicate, open up and talk about themselves. Someone with a bit of warped mind. Someone who is honest.
By the way, that was an excellent answer.
Yes, the art of conversation. How do you get the other person involved? It is asking simple little questions to open the door for larger discussions. A lot of times I will ask about things that have nothing to do with the work at hand. I will ask what the local tradition is for a holiday or cultural event that is coming up or happening at the time. For instance I was in Mexico city for work over Halloween on year. So I asked the people I was working with if they celebrated Halloween. The group I was working with proceeded to tell me in Mexico they celebrate Día de Muertos, better known as the Day of the Dead. Día de Muertos celebration is quite different from the US Halloween celebration. Having the conversation with them about that comparing it to how I celebrate Halloween in the US.
See? I would have loved to be a part of a conversation like that! Heck, I bug the crap out of certain people about cultural differences because they are interesting.
Those small discussions builds personal relationship with the person and naturally brings up other discussions. Do you visit your parents? Where did you grow up? What was it like growing up there? How many brother/sisters do you have. As each of those topics comes you then pull out similarities from your life. “Hey we had 5 kids in the family too. My youngest sister was so spoiled, was the youngest in your family spoiled?”
In my opinion, that's how to talk to and with people. A person shouldn't be so self-absorbed that a conversation is all about them. It's give and take.
For the work aspect of it. You do something similar to get the person involved. To give this some context, one of my jobs is to troubleshoot problems in production line whether it be mechanical, electrical, or chemical. So I will ask the line operators what is the problem they are seeing and to please show me. After that I will explain to them the theory of how the machine and transformations should work. Next I will ask what do they think will solve problem? They usually will have an idea to try. I will also have a few ideas to try. Even though I may know the solution at this point usually I will recommend trying both solutions to see which one works. I also tell them while I know how the machine should, you guys run the machine day in and day out and know how it actually works, so your input is very important to me. The key here is getting them engaged, respecting them and keeping them engaged throughout the whole process. Making the person feel they are important and bring value to the table and will feel empowered after I leave to be able run the machine without any problems.
I would have loved you back in the days that I worked in the semiconductor industry. We should swap some stories, sometime. (I keep telling you that certain Engineers dig me.)
If I did a good job of engaging the person, usually on my next trip back they want to talk to me and actually seek me out. They will have ideas they want to try and that will start the conversations again.
People skills are important, even if it's work related.
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
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